Birds

This page is about the animal. For the weather condition, see Lots of Birds.

In Internet League Blaseball, Birds are a phenomenon of unknown origin, whose first appearances can be dated back to Season 3, Day 6, following the Peanut Plague, the Blasphemy, and Uncertainty. Birds manifest themselves as a weather condition, whose effects on the game of Blaseball remain largely unknown.

History of Birds in Internet League Blaseball

• Season 3, Day 6: Birds appear in Internet League Blaseball.
• Season 7, Day 63: The Birds pecked Jessica Telephone free.
• Season 8 Elections: The Birds' assistance is offered through the Affinity for Crows blessing.
• Season 8, Day 47: The Birds pecked Sexton Wheerer free.
• Season 8 Election Results: Affinity for Crows blessed the Philly Pies, making the entire team pitch and bat 50% better in Lots of Birds weather.
• Season 9, Day 1: A flock of Crows ambush Summers Pony.
• Season 9, Day 1: A flock of Crows ambush Alexander Horne. The [confusion] leads to the League's first ever 16-out inning.
• Season 9, Day X: The Shelled One descends, assembles its team, and does battle with the Shoe Thieves. The weather changes wildly, though the birds chase PODS players off the field four times resulting in outs.
• Season 9 Elections: The Elections conclude, decrees are announced, Forecast: Birds passes, and a SEVERE MURMURATION WARNING is issued in the area.
  • A contingent of birds aligns themselves with one pitcher on every team, lending them the power to lead the birds into combat during Lots of Birds Weather.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Known Truths about Birds

• Birds are dinosaurs that didn't quit, and boy howdy do they know it.
• Birds are opaque and capable of hate.
• Birds are capable of piercing the impervious outer husk of Shelled players.
• Over 300 species of birds can be observed in Yellowstone National Park.
• The knowledge and study of birds, also known as ornithology, is largely speculative.
  • The organised observation of birds, with an explicit avoidance of any activity which may make one learn more about birds, is called birdswatching.
• "A bird" is eaten by some players as part of their pregame ritual.
  • A connection between "a bird" and Birds, if any, has yet to be determined by ornithologists.
• Birds have an anatomy consisting of:
  • Hollow Bones
  • Sharp talons
  • Two observable eyes
  • Knowing
• Penguins (one variety of birds) contain 83 bones.
• Birds are linked in some fashion to eggs and also crocodiles.
  • "Hens" (a subcategory of birds) will occasionally eat^{[citation needed]} eggs.

Birds in Blaseball Mythology

Birds' contribution to the splort are said by some to precede modern Blaseball, which first experienced birds following the Blasphemy.

A common superstition among Blaseball players and fans to avert bird weather is to wash one's hands while singing "happy birthday".

The Umpires announced following the Peanut Fraud that the Blaseball Gods would remember the affront done to them on that day. At the start of the following day of play, birds appeared in various ballparks across the Immaterial Plane.

Some Blaseball theologists have taken the birds' attitude of silent observation as a sign that the League was being watched ever more closely by the Gods, who may be seeking to judge the League and destroy it if its participants were found wanting. Others see the apparition of the birds as a blessing, Nature itself visiting the Immaterial Plane and participating in the cultural event that is Blaseball.

List of Notable Birds

• Gunther O'Brian
• August Sky
• Fletcher Yamamoto
• Quack Enjoyable
• Crows

List of Somewhat-Notable Birds

• The Moist Owlette

List of Notable Somewhat-Birds

• Cell Barajas
• Gabriel Griffith
• Greer Gwiffin
• Lawrence Horne
• The gooseform controlled by the town of Bishop Sutton