Silvaire Roadhouse/IF-128.36

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Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Silvaire Roadhouse at their Rumor Registry.

The Grands Roadhouse, The Devil of Carrol County, Silvaire the Pair, or most informally, Silvaire Roadhouse, is a granddaughter/grandfather pair. The former, Silvaire the Youngest, is an aspiring matador, always in her suit of lights and ready to kill. The latter, Silvaire the Eldest, was a man who loved his granddaughter so much that he picked up everything there is to know about cows and bulls when he heard his granddaughter speak of her dreams—and delved so deep into the study of the cow that he was imbibed with the Spirit of the West and became an immortal avatar of cowboyhood. Silvaire the Eldest imparts his True Knowledge of all things bovine to his granddaughter through astral projection.

Fans would watch a butch woman in elaborate matador garb, sword in hand, step up to plate, and suddenly undergo a dazzling magical girl transformation where she becomes an unwashed hick in a ten gallon hat.

Every time Silvaire pulls out her gun, it's a different gun, but it's always a revolver. Even when the gun is absolutely not a revolver.

Baltimore Crabs

Silvaire Roadhouse the Older and Silvaire Roadhouse the Younger were hired at around the same time by different members of the Baltimore Crabs, though for entirely different reasons. Howard and Dwayne had spoke with one retired cowboy friend of theirs, with whom they've had countless and untold misadventures, and had planned to bring them aboard the team as a coach for hitting home runs. Meanwhile, local trashboy Tillman Henderson had began to put into action a tax evasion scheme involving faking his death and squatting in the Crabitat, and had called Silvaire Roadhouse the Younger in order to help set up the pretense of assassination.

Unfortunately, Silvaire and her grandpa (giving her moral support through his astral-projected form) arrived just in time to witness Tillman go up in smoke, a final middle finger raised against the Umpires and the crowds, and, for lack of any other options in the stadium at the time, were promptly drafted into the team. Their first action was to hit a three-run home run—whether this was "a Tilly Triple from beyond the grave" or simply the new duo's strength is highly contested, but there is no doubt that the Silvaires are, most certainly, naturally born Crabs.

There was some discussion after the game of which Silvaire Roadhouse was the new batter but Howard and Dwayne wisely argued that the name on the contract (signed in Tillman’s ashy blood) only said Silvaire Roadhouse; it didn’t say which one. As such according to ILB regulations there’s no rule saying two people with the same name aren’t the same player.

Silvaire bats with an inherited gunbat that is also the gun she always has at her hip, maybe it's a trick of perspective. Sometimes instead of hitting the ball, she shoots fact, as far as statisticians can tell, every time she tries to swing at the ball she misses or fouls and every time she shoots it she hits it squarely, but she still has to give it a good swing a couple times for some reason.

Silvaire Roadhouse has carcinized in that, every time she ever had to shoot a man, a tiny hermit crab crawled up and into the spent shell that fell at her feet, as a reminder of the lives she's taken. She is followed by a small herd of a little over a dozen of these crabs everywhere she goes.


In Season 10 after making the run that killed the sun alongside Tot Fox, Silvaire Roadhouse and the rest of the Baltimore Crabs ascended to The Big Leagues, where she remained until the Crab’s return on Day 72 of season 12. Roadhouse Sr. however remained on the grounds of the Crabitat passing the time alongside Yurts Trunbo as they hoped for the return of the team. During this time he worked alongside the people of Baltimore to keep the city safe and operating for when his granddaughter returned.

This return however, was not as simple as they had hoped it would be. When the Crabs returned Roadhouse Jr. found that she was not unchanged from the fight on Day X, and had acquired a nasty flinch that hindered her ability to play. Despite dinally being reunited, the fuo found that they couldn't connect the way they used to - in some ways Silvaire Jr felt closer to Sr, being apart helped her grow and the experience matured her. In a very real way though, Silvaire Jr. was closed off to her grandfather, feeling useless and threatened, and unable to make her suffering and frustration known.

Return to the ILB

Despite their trepidations, the Crabs rocketed themselves to the championships and it seemed like even their curse could not stop their momentum, but as they began to slow, the responsibilities the team faced grew. Following the losses of Nagomi McDaniel, Alyssa Harrell, Jacoby Podcast, York Silk and Brock Forbes. And with the Crab’s captains now redacted, traded, and haunted there was a hole in the team that they were struggling to recover from.

It was Pedro Davids that reached out to Roadhouse and their new recruit Parker Meng to assist in captaining the team while Kennedy Loser recovered. The three of them were quick to get along well, though after a few tense arguments Meng and Davids did agree to “duke it out in a parking lot for a bit” at Roadhouse’s request. This was surprisingly effective, and Davids quickly grew to appreciate Meng’s experience as the three worked in tandem, while Roadhouse appreciated most things about Meng as they got to know each other. This victory was short lived however, as the losses began to pile up and Roadhouse found herself struggling to stay afloat.

The Boston Flowers

In Season 15 Roadhouse found herself unexpectedly being traded to Boston as a part of the second revival of Chorby Soul. While unexpected, this did reunite her with an old friend - Brock Forbes. Appreciating the familiar face she was quick to try and acclimatize, but found that there was something unexpected waiting for her.

A Debt - Returned with Interest

In season 21, after seasons of hardships had piled up, Silvaire roadhouse decided that she had had enough, and she was fed up with her shaking hands on the bat and flinching at half of the pitches thrown at her. In a moment of pure, unadulterated malice, she swung the bat and when her ball made contact with Walton Sports and discovered that it was a welcome change of pace. Refreshing even, when after seasons of loss Roadhouse finally felt like she could take something back. While her Debt hung over her as a curse, many of the Flowers took time to try and work through it with her, with Brock Forbes and Scores Baserunner passing on information about upcoming eclipses. Jaylen Hotdogfingers herself watched as Roadhouse spread instability though the league, though in all her time at the Flowers Roadhouse never cashed in a single unstable player for her debt, though it wasn’t entirely clear if it was from a lack of trying.

Return to Baltimore

In Season 22 Roadhouse returned to Baltimore in an unexpected trade with Adalberto Tosser after receiving news of a potential health issue for Roadhouse Sr. While he quickly recovered with his granddaughter at his side, the trade was permanent, and the two returned to their cohabitation in the old Roadhouse farm. Roadhouse Jr. was surprised to find Pedro Davids also staying in the farmhouse, as Roadhouse Sr. had invited him in after the loss of Valentine Games, sensing that Davids might appreciate some space. The two had grown surprisingly close over the last few seasons, with Roadhouse Sr. appreciating having company he didn’t need to astral project to. After the initial reunion things were uncomfortable between Roadhouse and the rest of the team, with many of the newer Crabs cautious to approach her now that she was debted and unrepentant, and the older Crabs worried for their friend, but unsure how to help.

As he often did, Kennedy Loser sought out Roadhouse Jr. to talk - inviting her over for dinner in a classic Crabs tradition. Loser spoke of a shared frustration with the trials the team had faced at the hands of gods, fans, and even on occasion other teams. Unfortunately this was not something Roadhouse was interested in hearing, and as she parted Loser could only wish he had been able to get through sooner.

A Balance Paid

In season 23 day 63 an unstable Helga Washington was incinerated and chained the effect to Jon Halifax, and when Halifax was incinerated the effect chained to Silvia Winner. On Day 90 Gunther O’Brian was incinerated, and his instability spread to Kaz Fiasco. On Day 97, Helga Moreno was incinerated and instability spread to Tot Fox.

When the deaths began, Roadhouse remained visibly unaffected, drawing a curtain between her and the world even as she saw teammates, former and current, put in her line of fire. Furious, it was Pedro Davids who took her to task on the subject. For all her loss he was quick to match his own, even as the only player left on the team with his flinch hanging over him. From there it was a realization that Roadhouse almost killed the fox who killed the sun with her, and that perhaps she might have other options. It’s not better right away, but After that it is different. She began to speak to others for the first time about how the game had affected her. - not all of the team, but the ones who were there on Day X, and there in the Big Leagues. While she still struggled not to lash out, she tried and one day she hoped she might get better.

The Horizon

In Season 24 the Baltimore Crabs steered themselves towards the Horizon, and Silvaire Roadhouse took the time to recover their confidence in themselves and their own control. Despite a marked increase in eclipse weather, not a single casualty of the season was a result of Silvaire’s debt. As the Blackhole (Blackhole) expanded, they found themselves at peace, and happy to be back in Baltimore for the end.