Hades Tigers
The Hades Tigers are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Evil division of the Evil League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1.[1]
History
The Tigers play at Sixth Circle Stadium (also called "The Amphitheater" by some locals), located in the heart of downtown Tartarus, Hades. The Tigers boast it is the largest stadium in the league in terms of seating in order to host the uncountable souls of the damned. This claim has proven difficult to verify due to their uncountability.
The closest thing the Tigers have to a mascot is an intangible spirit which haunts the stadium. It is known by many names and has never been directly observed by the team or the fans. Many fans claim that its presence can be felt at a visceral level and that those in its proximity are often overwhelmed by feelings of nervous anticipation, fear and splortsmanship. Several previous hosts of Landry Violence claim to have witnessed The Presence appear at the moment of their possession as a three-headed tiger they call Tigerberus, although these sightings remain purely anecdotal.
The Official Drink of the Hades Tigers is Violent Lightning, an alcoholic performance enhancing energy drink said to have been blessed by the spirit of Violence himself.
The team is technically called the Hades Tiger's, as evidenced by the "Many stripes! One tiger!" chant commonly heard during games. Due to a typography error in a bulk merchandise order, this fact is little-known and rarely respected by other teams. The implied existence of a specific Hades Tiger for which the team is named is hotly debated by the team's fans.
Players[2]
Batters
- Fish Summer
- Landry Violence
- Jessica Telephone
- Alyssa Harrell
- Peanutiel Duffy
- Moody Cookbook
- Ren Morin
- Zion Aliciakeyes
- Randy Castillo
Pitchers
Alumni
- Nolanestophia Patterson (Exchanged for Jessica Telephone by the 'Seduction' blessing at the end of Season 2)
Staff
- Hades (God) - Owner
- Fearful Symmetry - General Manager
- Kick Rocks - Pitching Coach
- Beyonceknowles Aliciakeyes - Bench Coach
Season Results[3]
In Season 1, the Hades Tigers went ████ in the season, advancing to the postseason. They were eliminated by the Houston Spies in the Quarter-Finals, ████.
In Season 2, the Hades Tigers went 63-36 in the season, advancing to the postseason. They were eliminated by the Breckenridge Jazz Hands 3 - 2.
Never Look Back
The Hades Tigers’ slogan, “Never Look Back,” is emblematic not just of their pitching strategy, which leaves them open to second base being stolen at an alarming frequency, but a way of life. A typical Hades Tiger fan will refuse to dwell on their past failings or answer questions about historical events more than a few days old. At its most extreme, this behavior results in a complete refusal to acknowledge that the past even exists or use rear-view mirrors. Curiously, this does not prevent the Tigers from discussing team and player statistics at length, as these exist in the present moment as an observable fact.
Whether this is a religious practice, a compulsion of some sort, a forgotten curse, or simply a cultural difference is a closely-guarded secret of the Tigers.
The Historian-Wizards are the only subset of Tigers fans who regularly observe past performance, and these individuals are tasked with maintaining records and procuring statistics for the team’s fans, coaches, and management. The Historian Wizards claim that this ability stems from their spiritual and/or temporal orientation is such that these activities are, in fact, merely a different way of looking forward.
Incineration
As nobody on the team has been incinerated ever in history before, fans will often refuse to speak about "incineration", believing that saying it will jinx the team. The most popular Tiger fan friendly alternatives are "Cursed Fire", "The Zoom", or "an invitation to Australia"
Chants
The Hades Tigers have several team and player-specific chants. Their most common chant, "MANY STRIPES / ONE TIGER" is a call-and-response, often heard when the Tigers score, showing the unity of the fans and the team, as well as the typo'd team name mentioned above. A less common team chant is "Yes, YES!" which stems from an ancient poem titled The Tiger, written by famous poet and 6 year old Nael.
Some of the iconic players on the team also have chants, including the infamous Landry Violence, his being "Violence is the answer" or "Violence is always the answer," a play on the phrase "Violence is never the answer," which, as we all know, is completely false. "It's time for violence" can also be heard when Violence is up to bat. Fish Summer's chant is "Hot Fish Summer," a reference to the fact that they are hot, and also Fish Summer. A old chant, whenever Ren Morin notoriously goofs up, fans could be heard chanting, "Incinerate Ren Morin!" It is unclear if this is a boo or a cheer.
Uniforms
The Hades Tigers' uniforms are dried red with black stripes and the Hades wordmark emblazoned on the jersey.
Fan Art
