Difference between revisions of "Espresso Machine"
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| team=[[Society Data Witches]] | | team=[[Society Data Witches]] | ||
| status=Active | | status=Active | ||
| − | | dates=Nov 24, 2020- | + | | dates=Nov 24, 2020 - Dec 1, 2020 |
| uuid=e11ff57a-ec5d-4d59-81a3-ffe3529b0e61 | | uuid=e11ff57a-ec5d-4d59-81a3-ffe3529b0e61 | ||
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<!--see Template:Modif for values --> | <!--see Template:Modif for values --> | ||
| modification= | | modification= | ||
| − | + | {{Modif|triple threat}} | |
| item=None | | item=None | ||
| armor=None | | armor=None | ||
| Line 37: | Line 37: | ||
| eyes=2 | | eyes=2 | ||
| education=[[Major Arcana]] | | education=[[Major Arcana]] | ||
| − | | side_hustle=Playing [[Blaseball]], [[Society for Internet Blaseball Research]], pushing the limits of the [[Internet League Blaseball|ILB]]'s rulebook | + | | side_hustle=Playing [[Blaseball]], [[Society for Internet Blaseball Research]], pushing the limits of the [[Internet League Blaseball|ILB]]'s rulebook, having sleepovers |
| height=5'3" | | height=5'3" | ||
| Line 44: | Line 44: | ||
| girlfriends=[[Batista Oatmilk]], [[Major Arcana]] | | girlfriends=[[Batista Oatmilk]], [[Major Arcana]] | ||
| relations=[[Society for Internet Blaseball Research]] ("employer") | | relations=[[Society for Internet Blaseball Research]] ("employer") | ||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| position= | | position= | ||
| signature_pitch(es)= | | signature_pitch(es)= | ||
| catchphrase= | | catchphrase= | ||
| instrument=of chaos | | instrument=of chaos | ||
| − | | likes=Girls, graphs, girls with graphs, breaking things, ridiculous body mods, pitching with a bat, pitching with a sword | + | | likes=Girls, graphs, girls with graphs, breaking things, ridiculous body mods, pitching with a bat, pitching with a sword, cats |
| − | | dislikes= | + | | dislikes=Being asked to make coffee, gnomes, [[Electric Kettle]] |
| favorite_pie= | | favorite_pie= | ||
| reputation=Causes problems on purpose | | reputation=Causes problems on purpose | ||
| player_twitter={{Twitter|name=EspressoM7}} | | player_twitter={{Twitter|name=EspressoM7}} | ||
| − | }} | + | }} |
| + | '''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a pitcher for the [[Society Data Witches]]. | ||
| − | == Official League Records == | + | |
| + | ==Official League Records== | ||
Espresso Machine joined [[Internet League Blaseball]] as a pitcher for the [[Society Data Witches]] during the inaugural [[Coffee Cup]]. | Espresso Machine joined [[Internet League Blaseball]] as a pitcher for the [[Society Data Witches]] during the inaugural [[Coffee Cup]]. | ||
| − | She pitched the first game of Round 2 against the [[Atlético Latte]], with her team winning 4 to 2.5. | + | She pitched the first game of Round 2 against the [[Atlético Latte]], with her team winning 4 to 2.5, and pitched the first game of Round 2 against [[FWXBC]], this time losing 5.7 to 10.4. |
| − | == Personal Life == | + | ==Personal Life== |
{{Community Lore}} | {{Community Lore}} | ||
Espresso "Emmy" Machine is a member of [[Society for Internet Blaseball Research|SIBR]]'s newly formed [[Society Data Witches|Field Research Division]] (aka. the Data Witches). The nickname "Emmy" is derived from her initials, and she prefers it over her formal name when at all possible. | Espresso "Emmy" Machine is a member of [[Society for Internet Blaseball Research|SIBR]]'s newly formed [[Society Data Witches|Field Research Division]] (aka. the Data Witches). The nickname "Emmy" is derived from her initials, and she prefers it over her formal name when at all possible. | ||
| − | Emmy lives at the [[Escher Complex]] in the SIBR offices, working with the rest of the team on... things, occasionally. She spends most of the rest of her time playing video games at her desk or at the front café, pondering new ways to cause problems on purpose. For science. As she does not require sleep, she spends most nights in the computer lab participating in the cultural event of Late Night Blaseball Twitter. | + | Emmy lives at the [[Escher Complex]] in the SIBR offices, working with the rest of the team on... things, occasionally. She spends most of the rest of her time playing video games at her desk or at the front café, pondering new ways to cause problems on purpose. For science. As she does not require sleep, she spends most nights in the computer lab participating in the cultural event of [[Late Night Blaseball Twitter]]. |
| − | == History == | + | ==History== |
No one, including herself, is quite sure where she came from, who or what created her, how she works, or why she's even here. No one seems to mind, though. | No one, including herself, is quite sure where she came from, who or what created her, how she works, or why she's even here. No one seems to mind, though. | ||
| − | === Arcane Security === | + | ===Arcane Security=== |
Emmy first joined [[SIBR]] as a penetration tester for the Arcane Security division. While not particularly skilled in the art of the arcane, she is naturally gifted in the art of "breaking things". Emmy quickly fell into her role, often spending late nights working closely with [[Major Arcana|Major "XVI" Arcana]] on securing various hexes and wards from unintended side effects or exploits. The two of them quickly grew close; shenanigans quickly ensuing. | Emmy first joined [[SIBR]] as a penetration tester for the Arcane Security division. While not particularly skilled in the art of the arcane, she is naturally gifted in the art of "breaking things". Emmy quickly fell into her role, often spending late nights working closely with [[Major Arcana|Major "XVI" Arcana]] on securing various hexes and wards from unintended side effects or exploits. The two of them quickly grew close; shenanigans quickly ensuing. | ||
Despite XVI's many attempts at teaching her actual skills, Emmy prefers to abuse her own continued ignorance, letting her consider potential interpretations that an experienced witch would otherwise gloss over. Emmy has also dabbled in technological security to moderate success, despite her mediocre-at-best computer skills - describing her hobby as "keysmashing at open ports and seeing what blows up". | Despite XVI's many attempts at teaching her actual skills, Emmy prefers to abuse her own continued ignorance, letting her consider potential interpretations that an experienced witch would otherwise gloss over. Emmy has also dabbled in technological security to moderate success, despite her mediocre-at-best computer skills - describing her hobby as "keysmashing at open ports and seeing what blows up". | ||
| − | === Society Data Witches === | + | ===Society Data Witches=== |
As [[SIBR]] was assembling their Field Research Division, Emmy was proposed as a last-minute candidate by her girlfriend [[Batista Oatmilk]]. Emmy was not informed of the rest of the team roster prior to the public announcement. | As [[SIBR]] was assembling their Field Research Division, Emmy was proposed as a last-minute candidate by her girlfriend [[Batista Oatmilk]]. Emmy was not informed of the rest of the team roster prior to the public announcement. | ||
| Line 85: | Line 85: | ||
She has experimented with the idea of replacing one or more of her arms with a bat during games, allowing her to fulfill her dreams of hitting "mad dingers" directly from the mound. She has also considered upgrading an arm to a sword - mostly because it would be "incredibly poggers" (her words), but also because someone told her weapons were banned in play, and she would very much enjoy proving them wrong - even if on a technicality. | She has experimented with the idea of replacing one or more of her arms with a bat during games, allowing her to fulfill her dreams of hitting "mad dingers" directly from the mound. She has also considered upgrading an arm to a sword - mostly because it would be "incredibly poggers" (her words), but also because someone told her weapons were banned in play, and she would very much enjoy proving them wrong - even if on a technicality. | ||
| − | During her first game on Day 6 of the [[Coffee Cup]], Emmy managed to score her team a win, despite her immense fear of [[Elvis Figueroa|gnomes]]. | + | During her first game on Day 6 of the [[Coffee Cup]], Emmy managed to score her team a win, despite her immense fear of [[Elvis Figueroa|gnomes]]. She lost her second game on Day 11, distracted by [[Lou Roseheart]]'s experimental pitching strategies. |
| + | |||
| + | ==Trivia== | ||
| − | + | *Despite her player profile, Emmy does not have a blood type, as she does not have blood. This annoys her immensely. | |
| − | * Despite her player profile, Emmy does not have a blood type, as she does not have blood. This annoys her immensely. | + | *Her body is theoretically capable of making coffee, although Emmy refuses to acknowledge this. When asked to provide coffee, she will either bluntly respond with "out of order", or walk to the office's actual coffee machine, slowly push the (sometimes) correct button, and deliver the output with painstaking inefficiency and a piercing death glare. |
| − | * Her body is theoretically capable of making coffee | + | *Emmy considers [[Pitching Machine]] one of her primary role models in life, mostly for its penchant for blood, upgrades, spite, and being a [[:Category:Gay machines|gay machine]]. On the other hand, she ''really'' does ''not'' like the [[Electric Kettle]] - there's just something about its mere presence. |
| − | * Emmy considers [[Pitching Machine]] one of her primary role models in life, mostly for its penchant for blood, upgrades, spite, and being a [[:Category:Gay machines|gay machine]]. On the other hand, she ''really'' does ''not'' like the [[Electric Kettle]] - there's just something about its mere presence. | + | *[[Major Arcana|XVI]] has attempted to teach Emmy about tarot cards on multiple occasions. She still does not understand how tarot works, but has now started misinterpreting most letter combinations as roman numerals. |
| − | * [[Major Arcana|XVI]] has attempted to teach Emmy about tarot cards on multiple occasions. She still does not understand how tarot works, but has now started misinterpreting most letter combinations as roman numerals. | + | *Emmy has applied to [https://gamesdonequick.com/ GDQ] speedrunning events on several occasions, but has never been accepted. This may be because her runs would be considered a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tool-assisted_speedrun TAS]- or because her presence would violate their ban on weapons in the marathon areas. |
| − | * Emmy has applied to [https://gamesdonequick.com/ GDQ] speedrunning events on several occasions, but has never been accepted. This may be because her runs would be considered a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tool-assisted_speedrun TAS]- or because her presence would violate their ban on weapons in the marathon areas. | + | *Emmy has Tweetdeck access to the official [[SIBR]] account, and frequently uses it to like her own tweets for internet clout. |
| − | * Emmy has Tweetdeck access to the official [[SIBR]] account, and frequently uses it to like her own tweets for internet clout. | ||
| − | == Gallery == | + | ==Gallery== |
<gallery widths="185"> | <gallery widths="185"> | ||
| − | + | File:Espresso Machine.png|Art by {{Twitter|name=skelebells}} | |
| − | + | File:Fancy Emmista.jpeg|Emmy with [[Batista Oatmilk|Batista]], experiencing the cultural event of bubble tea (by {{Twitter|name=Fancymancer}}) | |
</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
Revision as of 16:13, 5 December 2020
Espresso Machine is a pitcher for the Society Data Witches.
Official League Records
Espresso Machine joined Internet League Blaseball as a pitcher for the Society Data Witches during the inaugural Coffee Cup.
She pitched the first game of Round 2 against the Atlético Latte, with her team winning 4 to 2.5, and pitched the first game of Round 2 against FWXBC, this time losing 5.7 to 10.4.
Personal Life
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Espresso "Emmy" Machine is a member of SIBR's newly formed Field Research Division (aka. the Data Witches). The nickname "Emmy" is derived from her initials, and she prefers it over her formal name when at all possible.
Emmy lives at the Escher Complex in the SIBR offices, working with the rest of the team on... things, occasionally. She spends most of the rest of her time playing video games at her desk or at the front café, pondering new ways to cause problems on purpose. For science. As she does not require sleep, she spends most nights in the computer lab participating in the cultural event of Late Night Blaseball Twitter.
History
No one, including herself, is quite sure where she came from, who or what created her, how she works, or why she's even here. No one seems to mind, though.
Arcane Security
Emmy first joined SIBR as a penetration tester for the Arcane Security division. While not particularly skilled in the art of the arcane, she is naturally gifted in the art of "breaking things". Emmy quickly fell into her role, often spending late nights working closely with Major "XVI" Arcana on securing various hexes and wards from unintended side effects or exploits. The two of them quickly grew close; shenanigans quickly ensuing.
Despite XVI's many attempts at teaching her actual skills, Emmy prefers to abuse her own continued ignorance, letting her consider potential interpretations that an experienced witch would otherwise gloss over. Emmy has also dabbled in technological security to moderate success, despite her mediocre-at-best computer skills - describing her hobby as "keysmashing at open ports and seeing what blows up".
Society Data Witches
As SIBR was assembling their Field Research Division, Emmy was proposed as a last-minute candidate by her girlfriend Batista Oatmilk. Emmy was not informed of the rest of the team roster prior to the public announcement.
Emmy is very unhappy with her status as a pitcher, instead envying the (in her eyes) much more glamorous lifestyle as a lineup hitter. Purely out of spite, she decided to take her professional skills to the field, attempting to push the ILB Rulebook to its very limits.
She has experimented with the idea of replacing one or more of her arms with a bat during games, allowing her to fulfill her dreams of hitting "mad dingers" directly from the mound. She has also considered upgrading an arm to a sword - mostly because it would be "incredibly poggers" (her words), but also because someone told her weapons were banned in play, and she would very much enjoy proving them wrong - even if on a technicality.
During her first game on Day 6 of the Coffee Cup, Emmy managed to score her team a win, despite her immense fear of gnomes. She lost her second game on Day 11, distracted by Lou Roseheart's experimental pitching strategies.
Trivia
- Despite her player profile, Emmy does not have a blood type, as she does not have blood. This annoys her immensely.
- Her body is theoretically capable of making coffee, although Emmy refuses to acknowledge this. When asked to provide coffee, she will either bluntly respond with "out of order", or walk to the office's actual coffee machine, slowly push the (sometimes) correct button, and deliver the output with painstaking inefficiency and a piercing death glare.
- Emmy considers Pitching Machine one of her primary role models in life, mostly for its penchant for blood, upgrades, spite, and being a gay machine. On the other hand, she really does not like the Electric Kettle - there's just something about its mere presence.
- XVI has attempted to teach Emmy about tarot cards on multiple occasions. She still does not understand how tarot works, but has now started misinterpreting most letter combinations as roman numerals.
- Emmy has applied to GDQ speedrunning events on several occasions, but has never been accepted. This may be because her runs would be considered a TAS- or because her presence would violate their ban on weapons in the marathon areas.
- Emmy has Tweetdeck access to the official SIBR account, and frequently uses it to like her own tweets for internet clout.
Gallery
Art by @skelebells
Emmy with Batista, experiencing the cultural event of bubble tea (by @Fancymancer)
| Players | Batters | |
|---|---|---|
| Pitchers | ||
| Bench | ||
| Bullpen | ||
| Community Lore | ||
| History] | Society Data Witches' History | |
| Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Work 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
| Derive the Stars | ||
