Zero Index

From Blaseball Wiki

Zero Index is a pitcher for the Society Data Witches.


Official League Records

Index joined Internet League Blaseball as a pitcher for the Society Data Witches, the field research team for the Society for Internet Blaseball Research during the inaugural Coffee Cup.


COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Zero Index is a time traveler from a dystopian future where data collection and analysis is outlawed and history was blacklisted and rewritten to justify the government's actions. There, Zero stumbled upon a banned history textbook, sparking a drive to figure out the real truth. After resonating with the Black Hole's retrocausal activation, Zero constructed her time bat and traveled back in time to 2XXX, determined to figure out the true history of how our time led to her future and alter the timeline so it never comes to pass.

Zero Index regularly commits both data crimes in her job at the Society for Internet Blaseball Research, date crimes through time travel, and ordinary crimes in her day-to-day life. When cornered by one reporter after shoplifting an entire shop, Zero justified her actions by arguing that "every crime changes the timeline even further," adding "It's so easy here! I can't believe gasoline isn't illegal yet!" before slapping a hand over her mouth and fleeing the scene.

Equipment

Zero's left arm and time bat are both made from future technology, which is often frustratingly incompatible with current technology. This hasn't stopped her from tinkering with various machines around the Escher Complex and creating frankenmachines trapped between two different interconnected types of parts.

Zero's time bat allows her to strike holes in spacetime and leap through them. On the pitcher's mound, blaseballs can be seen emerging from these tears hurtling towards the batter. One theory states that Zero swinging at nonexistent blaseballs manipulates the universe's memory through some strange interaction with null pointers to create blaseballs. Another theory says that these are blaseballs from the future that Zero has hit into last week. Zero refuses to answer questions about her pitching technique, citing "forbidden knowledge".

Personality

Zero is cheerful, constantly delighted by the small joys of living in an unoppressed life. She's also very clumsy, frequently knocking into various stacks of papers accidentally, and loves to speak quickly and infodump. Zero Index is a huge history nerd, and often needs to stop herself from freaking out upon meeting famous players in person she's read about. She loves working at SIBR and looks up to many of her colleagues, especially as SIBR is one of the few places she can safely talk about the forbidden knowledge she remembers of the future.

Zero uses her time traveling abilities mostly for mundane activities such as putting a blanket on herself while napping or ordering takeout 30 minutes before she gets hungry.

Along with Greer Lott, Zero is one of the most rested players in blaseball, as when she's tired, she walks off the field, takes a nap, then time travels back to finish pitching the game. Onlookers see a second Zero walk onto the field, tap the first one on the shoulder, grab the glove, and finish pitching the game. A Cream & Sugar batter attempted to challenge the legality of this maneuver, but the umpires declared that two Zeroes is still Zero and resumed play.