Nebula Holstein

From Blaseball Wiki

Nebula Holstein is a pitcher for the Society Data Witches.

Official League Records

Holstein joined Internet League Blaseball as a pitcher for the Society Data Witches during the inaugural Coffee Cup.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.



Nebula Holstein is a spherical cow in a vacuum, a rare scenario that is optimal for many theoretical physics tests. She maintains her own personal gravity, which will sometimes cause blaseballs to orbit her like a moon. When pitching, she will generate a miniature black hole and project one of the blaseballs at the hitter. While she has never had the opportunity to bat, it has already been determined that she would do so by colliding one of her moons with the pitch, in a bocce ball like effect.

Neb, as she's known to her teammates, is considered the physical representation of SIBR's cloud servers. When the team got the call to participate in the Coffee Cup, they went to Escher Field to practice and Nebula was already there, floating over the mound. She doesn't speak or communicate in any manner, but her mere presence is considered to have a calming effect, particularly on young children who have eaten a lot of sugar.