Mason M. McMason

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Mason M. McMason is a shadows player for the Society Data Witches.

Official League Records

McMason joined Internet League Blaseball as a shadows player for the Society Data Witches during the inaugural Coffee Cup.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Mason M. McMason was recruited to the Witches' Shadows by accident, as she thought she was punching her card on a worksite. Her holepunch in the signup sheet was taken as a signature, and she was signed on.    Shortly after joining the team, she was fired from the worksite for, as far as anyone can surmise, having never worked there in the first place.

Still running with the misconception that having a job just meant picking a workplace and showing up, she set up a desk in the maintenance closet at SIBR and now spends the regular working day there. While she does occasionally actually do maintenance, most of the time she can be found in the closet with the door shut, reportedly practicing her English in Microsloft Word.  


Not much is known of McMason's background. She avoids sharing personal information, and if directly asked she will give nonsensical, often poorly disguised lies. She claims to be a human, however this appears to be little more than a loosely maintained ruse. McMason constantly references her home and its customs, particularly in regards to social sparring and "acid pit wrestling" to resolve disputes. Extreme environments such as acid mud pools and even active flames do not appear to bother her, yet she displays an unusually violent allergy to lactose. On several occasions she has claimed to have more than the normal amount of some organs such as hearts and stomachs, but she has never allowed medical examinations to confirm this.  

Excerpts of a translated voyage log found on her computer in the Maintenance Closet seem to reference an extraterrestrial exodus of which the author was the sole survivor, however it is unclear if this is a fictional piece, or if McMason is the subject.  

Around the time of Blaseball Season 4 she had a run-in with authorities that resulted in a brief incarceration at an undisclosed facility in New Mexico, but she made a relatively effortless escape when she did not receive conversation or entertainment she deemed adequate.  

In general, others do not tend to believe that she is human. She consistently displays abilities beyond the normal range of human capabilities, and does a poor job of hiding or explaining this away. Of McMason, Seattle Garages PA Toast Guerta said: "the chips tell all, therefore i see all, but even without them, i can see through you, mason."  


McMason has a notably intense personality. Her enthusiastic and friendly disposition, as well as her endless inquisitiveness, has been described as overwhelming by some. She considers most people she meets to be friends very quickly. When communicating in text she is overly fond of emojis. She rarely focuses on the negatives of situations, and loves company. Participation in social events is always enthusiastic. 

Mason has  tentency to take things literally or miss crucial context. An incident at the Slolstice Blall hosted by the Boston Flowers nearly resulted in a brawl, after she mistook an offer of punch for a friendly challenge.  

McMason does not often discuss family, and lives alone in a decrepit clocktower with her 6 Hellmouth raccoons and many pigeons. She has an extreme fondness for animals, and has been known to purposefully sneak into the Hellmouth to cuddle the abominable wildlife there.

Volunteering with Hellmouth Pest Control

Shortly after the end of the Coffee Cup, McMason began volunteering with Hellmouth Pest Control. She viewed this as an opportunity to hang out with cuddly monsters undisturbed, but the Pest Control department has used her unnatural strength as a means to "cuddle" the more dangerous  specimens away from civilisation.