Difference between revisions of "Baltimore Crabs"

Revision as of 16:41, 24 August 2020

The Baltimore Crabs are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Evil division of the Evil League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1. Their home stadium is the Crabitat, located on the carapace of a titanic crab of unknown origin known only as The Crabaclysm.

After the undesirable results of the Season 2 election, in which star pitcher PolkaDot Patterson was stolen by the Canada Moist Talkers and the Blaseball Gods ignored the fans' pleas for blessings, the Crabs fans and players have vowed to "turn [their] resentment for the indifferent Blaseball Gods, as well as [their] bitterness and spite, into fuel for the Great Crab Reckoning."

It is as yet unknown what the Great Crab Reckoning entails, but it is theorized to involve carcinization: the belief that given enough time and evolution, all teams in the league will evolve into identical copies of the Crabs.

Roster

Lineup

Pitchers

Former Players

Incinerated

Nora Perez

Transferred

Winnie Hess (To the Kansas City Breath Mints, end of Season 1)
PolkaDot Patterson (To the Canada Moist Talkers, end of Season 2)
Holden Stanton (To the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, end of Season 3)

Season Results


Season	Wins	Losses	Notable Events
1	TBC	TBC
2 - 'The Discipline Era'	49	50	First team to reach a 20-inning game, versus the Jazz Hands.
3 - 'Peanut Plague/Uncertainty'	44	55	Lost PolkaDot Patterson. Spent most of the season in 4th or 5th in the Lawful Evil division but finished in a respectable 3rd.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Allegiances

The Seattle Garages, for their shared love of deicide. The Crabs have no other allegiances, as they have declared war on the laws of god and man.

Former Allegiances

Dallas Steaks, aka the Surf N Turf

Other Information

A novelty oversized foam crab claw, dubbed by fans as "The Big Claw," often hoisted in the stands at Crabs games

Theme Songs

Noise Storm - Crab Rave

Ween - Ocean Man

The Mountain Goats - Heretic Pride

Claws Up

Fans

The Crabs have a reputation as a hardy bunch. Crabs fans are often seen cheering for draws into extra time. Some suggest they believe this will accelerate the Great Crab Reckoning, others have suggested they merely appreciate a few extra innings. New fans of the Crabs are sometimes referred to as "crablet" or "softshell". Crabs fans refer to players of their team who don't pan out as "Bustaceans". The Crabs fans, though tough and "snip-throat" in competition, are among the most supportive and inclusive teams in the league.

Common Chants

Claws up!
Claws up for Trans Rights!
Let's go Crabs baby love da Crabs
Hard Times, Hard Shells
Call: Old! Response: Bay!
"Ain't no laws when you have claws" and its popular variant, "Claw's the law"

ACRAB (All Crabs Really Are Beautiful)

Holden Please! (Showing contempt for Holden Stanton). Despite being recently acquired by the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, Crabs have still been heard to shout this as a broader sign of discontentment during a game.
Best is Best! (Showing support for Forrest Best)
Call: Ollie Ollie Ollie! Response: Snip snip snip! (showing support for Oliver Notarobot)
We are not from Chicago!
Call: Never Look Back! Response: We Do Not Have Necks!
Incinerate! Carcinizate! (when incineration occurs)

Poet Laureate

The Crabs are to date the only Blaseball team with a poet Laureate, Runolfio Peeper. Peeper is most famous for his tribute to incinerated player Nora Perez.

Mascot

The Crabs' mascot (crabscot) is a crab named Crab Scott. They wield a knife in one claw and a cigarette in the other. They do not fear death, and harbor endless rage and vengeance against the blaseball Gods. They were originally a pet of PolkaDot Patterson, who in answer to how they came to acquire Scott as a pet simply said “They just kinda showed up one day.” Since Patterson’s defection at the end of Season 2, Crab Scott has since become the pet of replacement pitcher Oliver Notarobot.

Fan Art

Badge by @heycatfish_

@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 https://twitter.com/crabsofbmore
-https://twitter.com/BLTCrabs|image1=[[CrabsLogo_Cobaltcakes.png]]|caption1=[[https://twitter.com/4damAvenue src:@4damAvenue]]|rival=Everyone, the Umps, the Blaseball Gods, the Commissioner|stadium=The Crabitat}}The '''Baltimore Crabs''' are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Evil division of the [[Evil League]]. They have been a part of [[Internet League Blaseball]] since Season 1.
+https://twitter.com/BLTCrabs|image1=[[CrabsLogo_Cobaltcakes.png]]|caption1=[[https://twitter.com/4damAvenue src:@4damAvenue]]|rival=Everyone, the Umps, the Blaseball Gods, the Commissioner|stadium=The Crabitat}}The Baltimore Crabs are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Evil division of the [[Evil League]]. They have been a part of [[Internet League Blaseball]] since Season 1. Their home stadium is the [[Crabitat]], located on the carapace of a titanic crab of unknown origin known only as [https://blaseball.fandom.com/wiki/The_Crabaclysm The Crabaclysm].
+After the undesirable [https://blaseball.fandom.com/wiki/Season_2#Election_Results.5B2.5D results of the Season 2 election], in which star pitcher [[PolkaDot Patterson]] was stolen by the [[Canada Moist Talkers]] and the Blaseball Gods ignored the fans' pleas for blessings, the Crabs fans and players have vowed to "turn [their] resentment for the indifferent Blaseball Gods, as well as [their] bitterness and spite, into fuel for the Great Crab Reckoning."
+It is as yet unknown what the Great Crab Reckoning entails, but it is theorized to involve [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation carcinization]: the belief that given enough time and evolution, all teams in the league will evolve into identical copies of the Crabs.
 == Roster==
@@ Line 72: / Line 74: @@
-== Team Overview ==
+== Allegiances ==
-=== History ===
+* The [[Seattle Garages]], for their shared love of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deicide deicide]. The Crabs have no other allegiances, as they have declared war on the laws of god and man.
-<small>For more on the Crabs' history, see [[Baltimore Crabs/History]].</small>
-The Baltimore Crabs were founded in 1352 as a sign of worship for [[The Olde One]], a deity that lies dormant in Baltimore Harbor.
+==== Former Allegiances ====
-Since the start of [[Internet League Blaseball]], the Crabs fans and players have vowed to "turn [their] resentment for the indifferent Blaseball Gods, as well as [their] bitterness and spite, into fuel for the Great Crab Reckoning" due to the disastrous outcomes of the [[Season 2#Election Results|Season 2 election]]. It is as yet unknown what the Great Crab Reckoning entails, but it is theorized to involve [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation carcinization]: the belief that given enough time and evolution, all teams in the league will evolve into identical copies of the Crabs.
+*[[Dallas Steaks]], aka the Surf N Turf
+== Other Information ==
+[[File:Crabclaw.png|thumb|200x200px|alt=|A novelty oversized foam crab claw, dubbed by fans as "The Big Claw," often hoisted in the stands at Crabs games]]
+=== Theme Songs ===
+[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDU_Txk06tM Noise Storm - Crab Rave]
-=== Stadium ===
+[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcaPiiFZu2o Ween - Ocean Man]
-The Crabs' home stadium is the [[Crabitat]], located on the carapace of a titanic crab of unknown origin known only as [[The Crabaclysm]].
-=== Staff ===
-Co-Managers
-The Baltimore Crabs are co-managed by [[Howard and Dwayne]], a pair of rooting, tooting moon crabs. The married cowboys were appointed to the managerial role by the Mother Crab as a wedding day gift.
-Coach
-The Baltimore Crabs Coach is a figure known only as [[The Clawricle]]. It is widely agreed that they are said to have the gift of prophecy, though the exact nature of this gift and the origins and identity of the Clawricle is subject to assorted rumours.
-==== Mascot ====
+[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ6O7Jk4MXs The Mountain Goats - Heretic Pride]
-The Crabs' mascot (crabscot) is a crab named [[Crab Scott]]. They wield a knife in one claw and a cigarette in the other. They do not fear death, and harbor endless rage and vengeance against the blaseball Gods. They were originally a pet of [[PolkaDot Patterson]], who in answer to how they came to acquire Scott as a pet simply said “They just kinda showed up one day.” Since Patterson’s defection at the end of Season 2, Crab Scott has since become the pet of replacement pitcher [[Oliver Notarobot]].
-==== Poet Laureate ====
+[https://soundcloud.com/liamjmcma/claws-up Claws Up]
-The Crabs are to date the only Blaseball team with a poet Laureate, Runolfio Peeper. Peeper is most famous for his tribute to incinerated player [[Nora Perez]].
+=== Fans ===
+The Crabs have a reputation as a hardy bunch. Crabs fans are often seen cheering for draws into extra time. Some suggest they believe this will accelerate the Great Crab Reckoning, others have suggested they merely appreciate a few extra innings. New fans of the Crabs are sometimes referred to as "crablet" or "softshell". Crabs fans refer to players of their team who don't pan out as "Bustaceans". The Crabs fans, though tough and "snip-throat" in competition, are among the most supportive and inclusive teams in the league.
-=== Allegiances ===
+=== Common Chants ===
-* The [[Seattle Garages]], for their shared love of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deicide deicide]. The Crabs have no other allegiances, as they have declared war on the laws of god and man.
-==== Former Allegiances ====
+* Claws up!
-*[[Dallas Steaks]], aka the Surf N Turf
-== Fan Culture ==
-<small>For a more in-depth look at Crabs fan culture, see [[Baltimore Crabs/Fan Culture]].</small>
-[[File:Crabclaw.png|thumb|200x200px|alt=|A novelty oversized foam crab claw, dubbed by fans as "The Big Claw," often hoisted in the stands at Crabs games]]
-The Crabs have a reputation as a hardy bunch. Crabs fans are often seen cheering for draws into extra time. Some suggest they believe this will accelerate the [[Baltimore Crabs#The Great Crab Reckoning|Great Crab Reckoning]] while others have suggested they merely appreciate a few extra innings. New fans of the Crabs are sometimes referred to as "crablet" or "softshell". Crabs fans refer to players of their team who don't pan out as "Bustaceans". The Crabs fans, though tough and "snip-throat" in competition, are among the most supportive and inclusive teams in the league.
-===  Select Chants ===
-==== Team-Wide ====
-*Claws up!
 *Claws up for Trans Rights!
 *Let's go Crabs baby love da Crabs
 *Hard Times, Hard Shells
-*Call: Old!
+*Call: Old! Response: Bay!
-**Response: Bay!
 *"Ain't no laws when you have claws" and its popular variant, "Claw's the law"
-*Incinerate! Carcinizate! (when [[incineration]] occurs)
-==== Player-Specific ====
+* ACRAB (All Crabs Really Are Beautiful)
-*Best is Best! (Showing support for [[Forrest Best]])
-*Call: Ollie Ollie Ollie! Response: Snip snip snip! (showing support for [[Oliver Notarobot]])
-==== For Other Teams ====
+*Holden Please! (Showing contempt for [[Holden Stanton]]). Despite being recently acquired by the [[Breckenridge Jazz Hands]], Crabs have still been heard to shout this as a broader sign of discontentment during a game.
-*We are not from [[Chicago Firefighters|Chicago]]!
+*Best is Best! (Showing support for Forrest Best)
+*Call: Ollie Ollie Ollie! Response: Snip snip snip! (showing support for Oliver Notarobot)
+*We are not from Chicago!
 *Call: [[Hades Tigers#Never Look Back|Never Look Back!]] Response: We Do Not Have Necks!
+*Incinerate! Carcinizate! (when [[incineration]] occurs)
+=== Poet Laureate ===
+The Crabs are to date the only Blaseball team with a poet Laureate, Runolfio Peeper. Peeper is most famous for his tribute to incinerated player [[Nora Perez]].
+== Mascot ==
+The Crabs' mascot (crabscot) is a crab named [[Crab Scott]]. They wield a knife in one claw and a cigarette in the other. They do not fear death, and harbor endless rage and vengeance against the blaseball Gods. They were originally a pet of [[PolkaDot Patterson]], who in answer to how they came to acquire Scott as a pet simply said “They just kinda showed up one day.” Since Patterson’s defection at the end of Season 2, Crab Scott has since become the pet of replacement pitcher [[Oliver Notarobot]].
 == Fan Art ==
-<small>Have more Crabs fan art? Add it at [[Baltimore Crabs/Fan Art]]!</small>
 [[File:Crabs Badge.png|alt=|none|thumb|304x304px|<code>Badge by [https://twitter.com/heycatfish_ @heycatfish_]</code>]]
 <br />
-{{CrabsNav}}
 [[Category:Teams]]
 [[Category:Baltimore Crabs]]