Ruslan Greatness
Ruslan Greatness is a pitcher for the Philly Pies, and has been with the team since the start of Internet League Blaseball.
Official League Record
During the Season 5 election, Greatness' batting, baserunning, and defense fell half a star as a part of the Charleston Shoe Thieves' Bad Neighbors blessing.
During the Pies' Season 7, Day 91 game against the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Greatness received a ½-star boost to pitching, baserunning, and defense, and a -star boost to batting.
History
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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Born Ruslan Fairfield, Ruslan Greatness was ironically given the name "Greatness" by his high school blaseball teammates on account of his poor play. A Pies scout, running behind and suffering from severe anxiety, failed to grasp the irony and signed Greatness on the spot.
Ruslan's pitching weakness comes from his massively overdeveloped body. A towering 7 feet of strongman muscle, Ruslan would otherwise be well-suited to being a formidable batter, but his bulging muscles impede his pitching. Ruslan's teammates beg him to change positions, but he considers batting crass and uncouth. "No bat," says Ruslan. "Only throw." Outside the game, Ruslan can be found weightlifting and participating in strongman and powerlifting competitions.
Despite sandbagging the Pies early in his career, they were unable to get rid of him due to a poorly written contract. He has since proven himself by winning numerous clutch games, although it is unclear whether he is actually playing well or if the rest of the team is just stepping up to compensate for his lack of skill.
Ruslan's nigh-impenetrable but unidentified Eastern European accent befuddles his fans. When asked, he claims to be from Conshohoken. Ruslan lives with former Pies relief fielder Morrow Wilson in Powelton Village and sleeps on their couch. This is despite the fact that Wilson never invited Ruslan to stay with them and has in fact tried to kick him out many times. The shenanigans these two roommates get up to are the basis for the hit sitcom My Roomie Ruslan.
Medical Record
Ruslan Suffers from a little understood and incredibly rare ocular condition known colloquially as "Blaseball blindness". Said to affect 1 in .....???? players, Ruslan's case is the only current known example in the ILB. The condition renders Ruslan completely incapable of discerning any object as anything other than a blaseball." When asked to comment on his affliction Greatness tearfully replied "NO DISTINGUISH, ONLY THROW" and proceeded to continue practice by throwing a live chicken across the mound.
Gallery
File:Ruslan.png | ![]() Art by @Robonorm |
Players | Batters | |
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Pitchers | ||
Shadows | ||
Buried | Miguel Peterson | |
Former |
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Stats | Season | 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 |
Ballpark | Tastycake Stadium | |
Community Lore | ||
Staff | Sam Hinkie · The City of Philadelphia · The Philadelphia Philling | |
Places | Jessica Telephone Memorial Skatepark | |
History | Philly Pies' History · Philladeltrix: The Marquis of Pain · My Roomie Ruslan · Philly Pie· Philly Cakes | |
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
Pie or Die. |