Difference between revisions of "Blood Hamburger"

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{{Player
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{{NewAutomatedPlayer
 
|title=
 
|title=
 
|image1=Blood Hamburger.png
 
|image1=Blood Hamburger.png
 
|caption1=Hamburger as of Season 3, by [https://twitter.com/shenaniglenn/status/1292175042487504898 @shenaniglenn]
 
|caption1=Hamburger as of Season 3, by [https://twitter.com/shenaniglenn/status/1292175042487504898 @shenaniglenn]
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|team=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]
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|former=[[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]
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|former=
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|modifications=[[Nullified]]
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|status=Active
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|dates=Aug 6, 2020–present
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|dates=Aug 6, 2020–present
 
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|modifications={{Modif|flinch}}<br />{{modif|soundproof armor}}
 
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|batting={{Star Rating|4}}
 
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|pitching={{Star Rating|4}}
 
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|baserunning={{Star Rating|2.5}}
 
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|defense={{Star Rating|2.5}}
 
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|item=None
 
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|armor=Noise-Cancelling Headphones
 
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|evolution=Base
 
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|ritual=Eating grass
 
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|coffee=Anything
 
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|blood=Psychic
 
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|fate=50
 
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|soulscream=IIEAHIIEAHIIAAXXIAAXXIIIAXEIIAXEIUAAXIUAAXIU
 
 
|position=First Blaser/Third Blaser
 
|position=First Blaser/Third Blaser
 
|shoe_specialty=Saddle Shoes
 
|shoe_specialty=Saddle Shoes
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|catchphrase="Meat Is Murder And So Am I"
 
|catchphrase="Meat Is Murder And So Am I"
 
|language(s)=Suffering
 
|language(s)=Suffering
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|dislikes=Unblood, Hamburgers, [[Tillman Henderson]]
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|husbands=[[Joe Voorhees]]
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|dislikes=Unblood, Hamburgers
 
|player_twitter=
 
|player_twitter=
 
|uuid  =f7847de2-df43-4236-8dbe-ae403f5f3ab3
 
|uuid  =f7847de2-df43-4236-8dbe-ae403f5f3ab3
 
}}
 
}}
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]], and has been with the team since [[Season 3]].
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' was a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]], and was with the team from {{BetaSeason|3}}, Day 75 until [[Fall Ball]].
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__FORCETOC__
 
__FORCETOC__
 
==Official League Records==
 
==Official League Records==
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Hamburger joined the league on [[Season 3]], Day 75, after the [[incineration]] of [[Blankenship Fischer]] in a game against the [[Los Angeles Tacos]].
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Hamburger joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]] after the [[incineration]] of [[Blankenship Fischer]] on {{BetaSeason|3}}, Day 75.
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During the {{BetaSeason|6#Blessings%202|@ elections}}, Hamburger received a combined {{Star Change|12.2|12.6}} stat increase as a result of the Shoe Thieves' {{BetaSeason|6#Blessings_2|'''Mutually Arising'''}} blessing.
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On [[Day_X#Season_9|Season 9, Day X]], Hamburger gained the {{ModLink|Flinch}} modification after the Shoe Thieves lost to [[THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS]].
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On {{BetaSeason|10}}, Day 1, some of Hamburger's defensive ability was siphoned by [[Hawai'i Fridays]] lineup player [[Baldwin Breadwinner]] in a game with [[Blooddrain]] weather, decreasing it from {{Star Change|3.7|3.2}}. On Day 8, some of Hamburger's defensive ability was siphoned by [[Philly Pies]] lineup player [[Lang Richardson]] in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it from {{Star Change|3.2|2.7}}.
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In the {{BetaSeason|10#Election Results|@ elections}}, Hamburger received {{BetaSeason|10#Blessings|'''Noise-Cancelling Headphones'''}}, becoming {{ModLink|Soundproof}}. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other [[Discipline Era]] items across the league, at the beginning of {{BetaSeason|15}}.)
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During the {{BetaSeason|13#Election Results| Season 13 elections}}, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves'[[Shadows]] in exchange for [[Herring Winfield]] as a result of the Shoe Thieves' {{BetaSeason|13#Wills| '''Foreshadow'''}} will, resulting in a combined {{Star Change|15.3|15.9}} stat increase.
  
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During the [[Season 6#Election Results|Season 6 elections]], the Charleston Shoe Thieves received the '''Mutually Arising''' blessing that provided a 2% overall increase to stats, but it did not impact Hamburger’s star rating.
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During the {{BetaSeason|14#Election Results|@ elections}}, Hamburger rejoined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for [[Simba Davis]] as a result of the Shoe Thieves' {{BetaSeason|14#Wills|'''Foreshadow'''}} will.
  
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On [[Season 8]], Day 98, Hamburger gained a {{Star Rating|0.5}}star in batting, pitching, and baserunning due to Enhanced Party Time.
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On {{BetaSeason|18}}, Day 64, Hamburger swallowed a stray [[Peanuts|peanut]] and had a [[Peanuts_(weather)#Reactions|allergic]] reaction, resulting in a combined {{Star Change|15.4 |11.0}} stat decrease. On Day 99, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for [[Ren Hunter]] as a result of [[Choux Stadium]]'s {{ModLink|Fax Machine}}.
  
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On [[Season 10]], Day 1, some of Hamburger's defensive ability was siphoned by [[Baldwin Breadwinner]], dropping it from ★★★½ to ★★★.
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On {{BetaSeason|19}}, Day 41, Hamburger joined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for [[Tevin Melcon]] as a result of Choux Stadium's '''Fax Machine'''.
  
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On Season 10, Day 8, some of Hamburger's defensive ability was siphoned by [[Lang Richardson]], dropping it from ★★★ to ★★½.
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On {{BetaSeason|20}}, Day 53, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Tevin Melcon as a result of Choux Stadium's '''Fax Machine'''. On Day 76, Hamburger rejoined the pitching rotation in exchange for [[Oscar Dollie]] via the '''Fax Machine'''.
  
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In the [[Season 10#Blessings 2|Season 10 elections]], Hamburger received '''Noise-Cancelling Headphones''', becoming [[Modifications|Soundproof]].
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On {{BetaSeason|21}}, Day 98, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for [[Terrell Bradley]] as a result of Choux Stadium's '''Fax Machine'''.
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On {{BetaSeason|22}}, Day 22, Hamburger rejoined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for [[Inky Rutledge]] as a result of Choux Stadium's '''Fax Machine'''. On Day 26, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' [[Shadows]] in exchange for Rutledge via the '''Fax Machine'''. On Day 34, Hamburger rejoined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Inky Rutledge via the '''Fax Machine'''.
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Over the course of {{BetaSeason|23}}, Hamburger entered and exited the Shoe Thieves' Shadows two times as a result of Choux Stadium '''Fax Machine''' and {{ModLink|Voicemail}} events, ending the Season on the lineup.
  
 
{{Community Lore}}
 
{{Community Lore}}
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Off the field, Blood Hamburger is a notable media personality and commentator who regularly appears on Blaseball splortscasts and has garnered a reputation as "one of the most recognisable names in Blaseball." Hamburger has been mentioned by name in several major publications unrelated to Blaseball, including [https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2020/10/23/staff-picks-splorts-seers-and-sentences/ ''The Paris Review''] and [https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2020/08/11/blaseball-may-be-text-based-but-it-inspires-the-best-fan-art-in-sports/amp/ ''Rock Paper Shotgun''].
 
Off the field, Blood Hamburger is a notable media personality and commentator who regularly appears on Blaseball splortscasts and has garnered a reputation as "one of the most recognisable names in Blaseball." Hamburger has been mentioned by name in several major publications unrelated to Blaseball, including [https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2020/10/23/staff-picks-splorts-seers-and-sentences/ ''The Paris Review''] and [https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2020/08/11/blaseball-may-be-text-based-but-it-inspires-the-best-fan-art-in-sports/amp/ ''Rock Paper Shotgun''].
  
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{{IRM|PlayerName=Blood Hamburger|title=Personal Life|banner=}}
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{{IRM|title=Personal Life|format=vignette}}
  
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==Gallery==
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==Fan Works==
 
<gallery>
 
<gallery>
 
Blood Hamburger.png|Season 3 card, by {{Twitter|name=shenaniglenn}}|link=https://twitter.com/shenaniglenn/status/1292175042487504898
 
Blood Hamburger.png|Season 3 card, by {{Twitter|name=shenaniglenn}}|link=https://twitter.com/shenaniglenn/status/1292175042487504898
 
Egcm1LTXsAI26Pu.jpg|by {{Twitter|name=kyl_armstrong}}|link=https://twitter.com/kyl_armstrong/status/1299049718165762049
 
Egcm1LTXsAI26Pu.jpg|by {{Twitter|name=kyl_armstrong}}|link=https://twitter.com/kyl_armstrong/status/1299049718165762049
 
BloodHamburger Sir5000.png|by {{Twitter|name=Sir5000}}
 
BloodHamburger Sir5000.png|by {{Twitter|name=Sir5000}}
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69BloodHamburger.png|Mini-Blaseballer by {{Twitter|name=HetreaSky}}
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69BloodHamburger.png|Mini-Blaseballer by '''[http://miniblaseball.surge.sh/ @HetreaSky]'''
 
Blood_prom.png|Blood Hamburger (Hlomecoming) by {{Twitter|name=shenaniglenn}}|link=https://twitter.com/shenaniglenn/status/1310295641864777728
 
Blood_prom.png|Blood Hamburger (Hlomecoming) by {{Twitter|name=shenaniglenn}}|link=https://twitter.com/shenaniglenn/status/1310295641864777728
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DEVOB Bloodandink.png|Blood and Inky Ruteledge in {{Twitter|name=BlaseballPolls}} DEVOB tournament by {{Twitter|name=shenaniglenn}}
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DEVOB Bloodandink.png|Blood and [[Inky Rutledge]] in {{Twitter|name=BlaseballPolls}} DEVOB tournament by {{Twitter|name=shenaniglenn}}
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Joeblood couch.png|Blood taking a siesta with former Shoe Thieves Beasley Gloom and Joe Voorhees by {{Twitter|name=shenaniglenn}}  
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Joeblood couch.png|Blood taking a siesta with former Shoe Thieves [[Beasley Gloom]] and [[Joe Voorhees]] by {{Twitter|name=shenaniglenn}}  
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</gallery>
 
</gallery>
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----
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<references/>
  
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{{TeamNavSelector|shoe thieves}}
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{{AutomatedPlayerNav|f7847de2-df43-4236-8dbe-ae403f5f3ab3|shoe thieves}}
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{{TeamCategorySelector|shoe thieves}}
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{{FormerTeamCategorySelector|shoe thieves}}
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{{FormerTeamCategorySelector}}
 
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[[Category:Players]]
 
 
[[Category:Nominative Determinism]]
 
[[Category:Nominative Determinism]]
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[[Category:Players Who Replaced an Incinerated Player‏‎]]
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[[Category:Players Who Replaced an Incinerated Player]]
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[[Category:Players with a Tlopps card‏‎]]
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[[Category:Players with a Tlopps card]]
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[[Category:Lineup Players]]
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[[Category:Players with the Nullified modification]]

Latest revision as of 13:13, 21 February 2023

Blood Hamburger was a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, and was with the team from Season β3, Day 75 until Fall Ball.

Official League Records

Hamburger joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Charleston Shoe Thieves after the incineration of Blankenship Fischer on Season β3, Day 75.

During the Season β6 elections, Hamburger received a combined 12.2 → 12.6 stat increase as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Mutually Arising blessing.

On Season 9, Day X, Hamburger gained the Flinch modification after the Shoe Thieves lost to THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS.

On Season β10, Day 1, some of Hamburger's defensive ability was siphoned by Hawai'i Fridays lineup player Baldwin Breadwinner in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it from 3.7 → 3.2 . On Day 8, some of Hamburger's defensive ability was siphoned by Philly Pies lineup player Lang Richardson in a game with Blooddrain weather, decreasing it from 3.2 → 2.7 .

In the Season β10 elections, Hamburger received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof. (The Headphones would later be lost, along with all other Discipline Era items across the league, at the beginning of Season β15.)

During the Season 13 elections, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves'Shadows in exchange for Herring Winfield as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 15.3 → 15.9 stat increase.

During the Season β14 elections, Hamburger rejoined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Simba Davis as a result of the Shoe Thieves' Foreshadow will.

On Season β18, Day 64, Hamburger swallowed a stray peanut and had a allergic reaction, resulting in a combined 15.4 → 11.0 stat decrease. On Day 99, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Ren Hunter as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine.

On Season β19, Day 41, Hamburger joined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Tevin Melcon as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine.

On Season β20, Day 53, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Tevin Melcon as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine. On Day 76, Hamburger rejoined the pitching rotation in exchange for Oscar Dollie via the Fax Machine.

On Season β21, Day 98, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Terrell Bradley as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine.

On Season β22, Day 22, Hamburger rejoined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Inky Rutledge as a result of Choux Stadium's Fax Machine. On Day 26, Hamburger retreated to the Shoe Thieves' Shadows in exchange for Rutledge via the Fax Machine. On Day 34, Hamburger rejoined the Shoe Thieves' pitching rotation in exchange for Inky Rutledge via the Fax Machine.

Over the course of Season β23, Hamburger entered and exited the Shoe Thieves' Shadows two times as a result of Choux Stadium Fax Machine and Voicemail events, ending the Season on the lineup.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Media Recognition

Off the field, Blood Hamburger is a notable media personality and commentator who regularly appears on Blaseball splortscasts and has garnered a reputation as "one of the most recognisable names in Blaseball." Hamburger has been mentioned by name in several major publications unrelated to Blaseball, including The Paris Review and Rock Paper Shotgun.


Personal Life

Space twists. Dimensions shiver. Something new springs forth. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-87.998 out of its Rumor Registry...

Appearance

WARNING There have been reports of individuals suffering adverse effects (memory loss, feelings of dread, unexplained bleeding) after studying Blood Hamburger for too long. Proceed with caution!

Hamburger is an unassuming figure, reminiscent of that classic 70s-era blaseball player everyone knows and loves. Some witnesses find their lack of eyebrows and fingernails unsettling, while others squirm at their too-sharp smile, or complain that they "look sort of squishy". Most agree that Hamburger is “pretty normal, I think”.

It is rumoured that Hamburger is actually made of raw meat, dripping with blood that spreads and oozes and oh god where is it coming from These claims are difficult to verify as the blood pouring from the witnesses’ eyes may have obscured their vision, and accounts vary wildly after blinking or looking away. These conflicts in appearance are reported more often just before Hamburger is up to bat. In one particularly disturbing account, “their human form just sloughed off, leaving a formless mass of bloody raw hamburger meat with eyes”.

Other Shoe Thieves players have mentioned similar encounters. Esme Ramsey notably said:

"Hamburger? Great guy, nice as heck and what a swing. Couldn't ask for a better teammate than 'ol Bloody Burger. Though you don't want to stare at him too long, or the, y'know. You've seen it? The blood.  Leaking out everywhere. Like a rusty bucket finally giving way. Like a river. Like...like an ocean...like the sky is an ocean of blood, and...and it's gonna start raining. It's--i mean, you've seen that, right?  It's just, ol' Hamburger. Great guy."

Personality

Hamburger has been described as “kind of boring”, mostly owing to their conversations revolving around the weather, laundry, and blaseball tactics. They have been working on the same blood soaked 1,000,000-piece puzzle for several years. It is difficult to determine Hamburger’s diet. They claim to be vegan, and yet several people have seen them tearing into raw meat, moustache dripping with blood. So much blood, oh god- how can there be this much blood?


Fan Works

Retrieved from "https://www.blaseball.wiki/index.php?title=Blood_Hamburger&oldid=104350"