Beans McBlase

Beans McBlase
by @Spiral_Joe
Basic Information
Position	Pitcher
Team	Mexico City Wild Wings
Former Team(s)	Canada Moist Talkers
Status	active
Batting	(4.7)
Pitching	(4.3)
Defense	(5.9)
Running	(3.2)
Modifications	PerkThis Player has been rewarded Percolated energy. They will Overperform in all Coffee weathers. See also: Glossary  SiphonSiphons will steal blood more often in Blooddrain and use it in more ways.  Slow BuildThis Player will bat 1% better for each subsequent At Bat they have in a game.  SpicySpicy batters will be Red Hot when they get three consecutive hits.  Triple ThreatThis pitcher's strikeouts score Unruns when there are 3 runners on base, a runner on 3rd, or 3 Balls in the count. Each condition met is worth .3 Unruns. At the end of the 3rd Inning, there's a 33.33% chance that this mod will disappear.
Items	Metaphorical Lucky Aluminum Steel Chair 7/7 ●
Dates Active	Sep 15, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Not Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Summoning circle
Coffee Style	Espresso
Blood Type	Grass
Fate	19
Biographical Details
Pronouns	She/her
Nickname(s)	Beans & McBlase, attorneys at law
Education	Masters degree in law

Beans McBlase is a lineup player for the Philly Pies, and has been with the team since the Season 20 election. McBlase has previously played for the Canada Moist Talkers.

Official League Records

McBlase joined the ILB on Season 7, Day 33, after the incineration of Antonio Wallace.

On Season 7, Day 61, McBlase siphoned some of Philly Pies batter Nolanestophia Patterson's defensive ability in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing it from to .

During the Season 9 election, McBlase became Spicy due to the Seattle Garages winning the Hot Sauce Bar blessing, and gained the Siphon modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Blooddrain decree. Also during the election McBlase's Power and Max Vibes were increased, but their baserunning went down, due to winning the Eat me, Drink me blessing.

During the Coffee Cup, McBlase played for Inter Xpresso as a pitcher. McBlase received the Perk modification after the tournament due to being a member of the winning team.

During the Season 18 elections, McBlase gained the Slow Build modification as a result of the Slow Build blessing.

During the Season 20 elections, McBlase was traded to the Philly Pies in exchange for Greer Lott via the Moist Talkers' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

On Season 21, Day 17, McBlase retreated to the Pies' Shadows in exchange for Lucy Tokkan via Tastycake Stadium's Fax Machine.

On Season 22, Day 36, McBlase joined the Pies' lineup in exchange for Doc Anice at Tastycake Stadium via the Ratified Voicemail.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Hailing from the fleet of cruise ships making up the city of Hamilton, Ontario, McBlase is an attorney for the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety. Originally earning her law degree from UVic, she worked for various law firms across several years before being hired by CCOHS.

Beans is her very long cat.

After a series of incinerations struck the Canada Moist Talkers in season 7—including labour union representative Kiki Familia—the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety sent attorneys Beans & McBlase to look into the matter.

The pair arrived at Gleek Arena to discuss the potential for financial compensation with the Moist Talkers. However, due to a series of clerical errors, the "&" was dropped and "Beans McBlase" was drafted into the ILB as a singular player.  Onlookers present reported McBlase as indignant over the proceedings, while Beans was reported as "soft" and "adorable". Attempts to have the error fixed have been ignored by the league wholesale.

With legal recourse stymied, Beans & McBlase have begun to settle into their new lives at Gleek Arena. McBlase has been collecting refunds on falsely advertised waterproof business suits while leaving the actual splort of blaseball up to Beans.

Fan Works

• 

  by @Spiral_Joe

• 

  Beans asserting dominance over McBlase

• 

  Beans and McBlase profile image by Nic

• 

  Commissioner Vapor, McBlase and Beans after winning the Coffee Cup by Nic

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