Gastronomic Conjury Guild

From Blaseball Wiki

The Gastronomic Conjury Guild is a shadowy coven frequently seen working in conjunction with the Mexico City Wild Wings managerial staff. While their exact origins, motives, and membership are unknown, engravings bearing their likenesses have been identified on steles found across numerous Mesoamerican archaeological sites; additionally, a discovery near the Ujuxte Archaeological Project dates their arrival to at least as early as 1000 BC. Members of the GCG can be identified by their voluminous sauce orange hooded robes and carved jade rooster masks.


While the most commonly observed duty of the GCG is to augur the sauce-and-bone leavings of team manager-entity Guy Flieri and deliver an omen of weal or woe, Saucerers have also been sighted conducting dark boardroom rituals with the Wild Wings Legal Team, observing games (including those the Wings are not involved in), maintaining both the grounds and arcane geometries of The Bucket, and conducting unsanctioned flavor experiments.


An unconfirmed leak at the Centro Nacional de Inteligencia suggests a correlation between Saucerer sightings and cities with missing persons cases involving controversial paracausal mathematicians and scientists, New Age theorists, stage magicians, and experimental chefs. The document also includes hidden camera footage of a cabal meeting in the alleged Second City, transcript included here:


T+0000 - camera focuses in on distant obsidian plinth atop monolithic stone building
T+0003 - sauce-like substance manifests atop plinth as though bleeding through napkin
T+0008 - aggregate substance flows into ring of glyphs; camera only captures symbols as static
T+0009 - monolith and plinth begin to vibrate and hum at ~15 Hz, volume grows consistently
T+0039 - vibration joined by numerous human voices chanting in unison, volume continues to increase
T+0066 - voices now briefly discernable, “Ur-Flavor” and “Prime Sauce” repeated; microphone levels begin to peak
T+0067 - flash of orange light temporarily disables camera
T+0069 - camera function returns; plinth replaced with enormous wing flat, thirteen hooded, robed figures levitate above it in a circle
T+0070 - chanting, vibration peak and microphone fails; figures raise hands and circle the wing, quickly gaining speed
T+0082 - camera disabled by secondary flash of light
T+0084 - camera function returns; figures, wings, and monolith no longer present