User:Astrid/XIII draft

At Latesiesta of Season 14, the Breath Mints finished installing their newly-"acquired" PsychoAcoustics system in the Meadow. Shortly thereafter, a loud whine pierced the sky, followed by a crash, a thud, and the clattering of empty Five Loko cans. As the team investigated, they found XIII lying on the floor of Pudge's house. When asked for their name, they said they didn't remember.

XIII spent their first few days dazed and scattered, often seemingly distracted from conversation, and complaining about a severe headache. On Day 77, the headache lessened ever so slightly.

Team members were initially hesitant to acknowledge the unexpected addition to the team, uncertain of their longevity, although most eventually warmed up to their presence. Oscar Vaughan offered them an old spare room in his apartment, which XIII declined. They appreciated the hospitality, even if Vaughan could be a little overbearing.

As XIII settled in, they started spending more time at Hewitt Best and Marco Stink's apartment. Best quickly grew fond of the young child, getting to know themwhile he could, teaching them theory - both communist and blaseball. Marco Stink did his best.

XIII also bonded with PolkaDot Zavala and Mooney Doctor II. Apparently they had a group chat - #clonegang, or something. Isn't that cute?

On Day 78, XIII pitched their first game of their complicated life. They were at the Polyhedron. They were shut out, losing 0 to 2. Milo Brown took them out for pancakes after the game. Everyone just wanted the day to be over.

Over the next few days, it almost felt like they were okay. The team's shared playlist had been blessed. They made peace with the voices in their head. They tried their hand at cooking. It went awful. PolkaDot Zavala promised to teach them mascara, but they taught themselves first, just to flex. Leach Ingram induced them into the Smokehouse Gang, having ignored the memo that the Gang had already disbanded.

On Day 84, XIII was due to pitch against the Shoe Thieves. They were unresponsive that morning. Either way, it's not like the universe cared what they thought. And either way, they never made it to the mound that day.

Trivia

• When XIII localized, they left a large hole in the roof of Pudge's house on fifth base, next to the existing, even larger hole. No one really feels like repairing it.
• XIII's natural hair color is definitely black. Pay no mind to the empty cans of hair dye under the counter.
• Rodriguez Internet gave them an old pair of green cat-ear headphones. They were never seen without them since.
• XIII is... friends? with the Spearmint? Somehow???
• While their eyes normally glow a bright pink, they always wear black-tinted contacts, darkening it to a deep red.
• "Meet the one and only Tilly Hendy" [sic] was the only item on their bucket list.
• The microwave at the clubhouse would always make XIII glitch out a little, should anyone reheat their lunch in their vicinity.
• The night before they'd pitch their game, they wrote "time to show the preps once and for all" on the locker room whiteboard.