Sebastian Telephone

Sebastian Telephone
Telephone as of Season 4, by @Fairchart
Basic Information
Team	Dallas Steaks
Status	Incinerated
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Modifications	AlternateThis Player is an Alternate... Player is replaced with an alternate reality version, stats are randomized.
Dates Active	Jul 20 - Sep 17, 2020
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Headbanging
Coffee Style	Americano
Blood Type	H₂O
Fate	2
Soulscream	AOEUEAOEUEAUIAXXUIAXXUEEAHEEEAHEEHOAOUHOAOUHEIAEIEIAEIEAXIOEAXIOEAAIAIUAIAIUA
Biographical Details
Pronouns	He/Him

Sebastian Telephone was a lineup player for the Dallas Steaks and had been with the team since Season 1. Telephone was incinerated on Season 7, Day 67.

Official League Records

Telephone joined the league in Season 1 as a -star hitter for the Dallas Steaks.

During the Season 4 Election Results, Telephone was swapped with an Alternate due to the Alternate Reality decree. This involved a randomization of stats, including an increase in batting ability to .

During a Season 7, Day 65 game against the Seattle Garages, Telephone was hit by a pitch thrown by Jaylen Hotdogfingers under the effects of Debted. Telephone became Unstable, greatly increasing chance of future incineration.

Only two games later, during a Season 7, Day 67 game against the Hades Tigers, Telephone hit a ground out in the bottom of the 7th inning shortly before he was incinerated by a Rogue Umpire. This incineration was one of the many Debts collected throughout the season. The incident came only four games after the similarly-named Jessica Telephone was successfully freed from their Shelled prison on Day 63. Sebastian Telephone was replaced by Gallup Crueller.

Biography

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Background

Like his sister Jessica Telephone, he sprang fully-formed from a payphone a few years ago. Unlike his sister, his synchronous quantum waveform has not yet corporeally incarnated. Some fans have speculated that his dependence on Jessica for interacting with the physical world started to hinder his play once she was stolen by the Philly Pies, but Sebastian insists he is "really, totally fine" and his vendetta against the Pies is for unrelated reasons.

Sebastian Telephone may not be the strongest batter in the league, and can only sometimes hold a bat, but his raw energy and enthusiasm make up for it.

Alternate Reality

After Season 4, Telephone was replaced by a version of himself from another reality. In that reality, Sebastian Telephone was the more "stable" Telephone sibling, while Jessica was more prone to temporal abnormalities. Also, according to his reports, those shoes with wheels in the heels were still a thing, for whatever reason. Otherwise, it was mostly similar.

This alternate version of Telephone had greater Blaseball skills than the version he replaced, and proved to be a far more reliable hitter. Always considered a beloved member of the team, Telephone dialed in to his role as the Steaks' second hitter in the batting order.

Trivia

• Has been called "the best himbo in Blaseball."
• Doesn't know what a himbo is, but likes that people think he's the best at something.
• Popularized the "meat jersey".

Gallery

• 

  Incorporeal Form, by pseudosc

• 

  "Seldom Corporeal. Always Cordial." by Elish

• 

  Telephone's Corporeal Form by @fairchart

• 

  by @Fancymancer

• 

  by @fairchart

• 

  by @fairchart

• 

  by @alienmandy_

• 

  By @MimimiCee