Gallup Crueller

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Gallup Crueller was a player in the Shadows for the Dallas Steaks, and was with the team from Season β7, Day 67 until Fall Ball.

Official League Records

Crueller joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Dallas Steaks on Season β7, Day 67 after the incineration of Sebastian Telephone.

On Day 95 of Season β7, Crueller received a boost thanks to Enhanced Party Time, raising each of her ratings by half a star.

During the Season β12 elections, Crueller received the Will Alternate, which gave them increase stats.

During the Season β15 elections, Crueller retreated to the Steaks' Shadows as a result of the Steaks' Move will, resulting in a combined 8.8 9.4 stat increase.

During the Season β20 elections, Crueller's pitching increased from 1.2 2.8 as a result of the Steaks' Shadow Infuse will.

During the Season β21 elections, Crueller's baserunning increased from 3.3 4.8 as a result of the Steaks' Shadow Infuse will.

During the Season β22 elections, Crueller's pitching increased from 2.8 4.5 as a result of the Steaks' Shadow Infuse will.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Life Before Blaseball

Crueller is a Spite Demon, born from humanity's frustration and anger at those in power misusing that power for their own gain. Before joining the Steaks, Crueller roamed the Mild West with the infamous Grimsley Gallows gang, taking down oppressive cattle barons and unjust money lenders, wielding her vicious claws, wearing a long duster, and riding her flame-maned phlegethonian courser, Kapnos.

While Crueller's actions were admirable, her motivations were questionable; as a Spite Demon, Crueller draws her lifeforce from inflicting misery upon those she targets, gaining power proportional to the suffering she causes. As she enacted her Spite upon those misusing their power, her strength grew exponentially. At the peak of her reign she was known as The Terror of the Mild West.

Joining the Steaks (Season 7)

During the Incineration of Sebastian Telephone, a temporal portal opened, pulling Crueller through the timeline to Season 7, separating her from her beloved Kapnos. Crueller swore revenge on whoever had drawn her away, flailing her claws at any who approached. Coach, seeing an individual in distress, gave a subtle nod toward General Manager Philomena A. Minyon, who calmed Crueller down enough to take her aside and explain the situation.

With no obvious way to return to her home time, Crueller agreed to play for the Steaks in Telephone's place. After hitting a solo home run in her first full game, she felt the agony of the opposing team and their fans and feasted on the energy of their misery. At that moment, Crueller knew she could make this work. Instead of inflicting immense suffering on one individual at a time, Crueller would cause many people to feel a small amount of splorts-related anguish.

Crueller blamed the Rogue Umpires for ripping her away from her home timeline and would have jumped at the opportunity to enact revenge upon them. However, as a side effect of her demonic nature, she becomes much less powerful while bound under magical contract, and, unfortunately for her, the standard ILB player contract constituted as such. Crueller knew her strength and that it paled in comparison to that of the Rogue Umpires, at least for the moment. Instead, she waited, content to play Blaseball with her new teammates, sate herself on her opponents' suffering, and eat grilled foods for the flavor instead of the sustenance. Crueller enjoyed her time spent around the grill and savoring the smoke, which reminded her of Kapnos.

Seasons 8-10

Crueller found it difficult to adjust to her new life as a Blaseball player. She discovered that no matter how much she practiced or how hard she hit the ball, her power was no match for what it was pre-ILB contract. This feeling of powerlessness manifested in a melancholy mood that Crueller’s teammates quickly noticed, observing that she could no longer enjoy the grill smoke since it just made her even more homesick. Crueller felt it strange to be a source of the misery of which she had formerly fed on.

The incineration of August Mina at the end of Season β9 only worsened Crueller’s outlook. With the loss of one of the few friends she had, she felt even more isolated from her old life. She sought help by contacting her predecessor, Sebastian Telephone, and asking if he had brought her to the Immaterial Plane for a reason[1]. However, when Telephone admitted it had been a complete accident, she was discouraged even further.

During this time, Crueller was observed to form a bond with newly recruited Baltimore Crabs player Silvaire Roadhouse, most likely over their shared cowgirl aesthetic. Though their teams never played each other, the two of them were spotted at Chlili’s more than once, sharing a plate of nachos and trading tips on the best brands of hats to accommodate their horns. This relationship was cut short at the end of Season β10 with the Crabs’ ascension.

Season 11 and Siesta

Season 11 onward was a period of growth for Crueller. For one, her arcane evaluation from the Hellmouth Bureau of Supernatural Affairs came back, revealing her heritage to be approximately 20% succubus and not 100% Spite Demon, as she had previously thought[2]. This was significant to Crueller, as she realized that she no longer needed to feed solely on misery - joy and pleasure would serve just as well.

Crueller spent the Grand Siesta catching up on modern pop culture, establishing a weekly Steaks get-together to watch a new show or movie recommended by her friends or teammates[3]. She also reconnected with Silvaire Roadhouse, to whom she regretted missing the chance to confess her feelings. After a tearful reunion, the two of them subsequently began a romantic relationship[4].

Crueller adopted a two-headed Doberman puppy named Masala to keep her company, whose antics kept her busy[5]. She also noticed suspicious whinnying noises coming from her motorcycle, and discovered it had been possessed by her beloved horse Kapnos, whom she could ride again just like old times[6]. Thus, she had finally been reunited with a link to her past.


  • Crueller loathes puns with a burning passion[7].
  • Crueller actually prefers to drink black coffee, not heavy foam as her player page suggests[8].
  • Over the Grand Siesta, Crueller took dance lessons from Lou Roseheart of the Chicago Firefighters in order to become more graceful on her hooves[9].
  • Crueller enjoys playing the violin.

Fan Works


  1. Gallup Crueller [@GallupCrueller] (15 Oct 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  2. Gallup Crueller [@GallupCrueller] (1 Nov 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  3. Gallup Crueller [@GallupCrueller] (7 Nov 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  4. Silvaire Roadhouse [@RoadhouseBlase] (3 Nov 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  5. Gallup Crueller [@GallupCrueller] (11 Nov 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  6. Gallup Crueller [@GallupCrueller] (22 Nov 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter
  7. Gallup Crueller [@GallupCrueller] (4 Nov 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  8. Gallup Crueller [@GallupCrueller] (1 Nov 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  9. Gallup Crueller [@GallupCrueller] (19 Oct 2020). (Tweet) - via Twitter.