August Mina

From Blaseball Wiki

August Mina was a pitcher for the Dallas Steaks. Mina played for the Steaks from Season β2 through Season β9 and previously played for the Philly Pies. During the Season 9 election, Mina was incinerated as part of the Kill Your Darling blessing.

Official League Records

Mina joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Philly Pies with the Return of Blaseball. Mina was traded to the Steaks for Jessica Telephone as a result of the Steal Best Hitter blessing from the Season β1 elections.

Mina became a pitcher after the Steaks won the Mutual Aid blessing in the Season β5 elections, swapping places with Conner Haley.

During the Season β9 elections, Mina was incinerated as a result of the Kill Your Darling blessing and replaced by Kit Adamses.


The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Early Life

Mina was born in El Paso, Texas, the eighth of twelve children. To Mina's dismay, none of her siblings are named after months and, according to her parents, it "just happened that way by accident."

Mina's love of cooking was inspired by her abuelita, who taught her the fundamentals of Latin American cuisine and instilled a passion for it that Mina carried through into adulthood. Mina took those skills into professional kitchens starting in her late teens, where she continued to broaden her culinary vocabulary.

Culinary Career

Mina's cooking skills are renowned, and she worked at several Mlichelin-starred restaurants during her culinary career. Mina showed versatility, working with all kinds of ingredients and within many different cuisines, always making sure to work with chefs from other cultures to understand the significance those dishes hold for them.

The Midnight Cookoff

Shortly before Season β1 began, after a busy dinner shift at her restaurant, Mina Cuisina, Mina was biking home close to midnight when she noticed a "strange, glowy light" coming from a clearing in the woods just off the road. Upon investigation, she found a gelatinous forest sprite, hard at work preparing a feast. Curious, Mina moved closer to investigate, accidentally breaching a mystic warding circle as she did.

The sprite spotted Mina and, recognizing her culinary aura, challenged her to a mythical cooking contest to be judged by the Spirits of the Woods. If Mina won, the sprite would grant her one wish; if the sprite won, Mina would give them her cooking skills. Mina agreed and, by a razor-thin margin, outcooked the sprite by a final score of 373-372 on the traditional Forest Spirit Cooking Contest 400-Point scale. It is said that the headstrong sprite's lack of respect for culinary protocol upset the Forest Gods, perhaps leading to their defeat.

Mina, who still loved cooking but longed for a change, wished for the ability to play Blaseball. The sprite grinned, and as they did, Mina regretted her wording, as she forgot to specify that she wanted the ability to play Blaseball well. As a consequence, Mina received skills only good enough to be a one-star hitter. The gelatinous forest sprite also muttered something cryptic about "when the fated hour comes," but Mina was too busy thinking about her walkup music to comprehend it at the time.

The next day, Mina arranged for a new head chef to head up her restaurant's workers' union and was signed by the Philly Pies. She still cooks occasionally and has been seen picking up shifts during siestas and offseasons,[1] but her main focus now is Blaseball.

If nothing else, ever since the Midnight Cookoff, Mina knew that she could always brag that she beat the Blobby Fey.

Career with the Pies, Season 1

During Season β1, Mina joined the Philly Pies on their championship run before being traded to the Dallas Steaks for Jessica Telephone during the postseason. During her time with the Pies, Mina was often jeered by fans for her poor performance, calling her "August 'Groundout' Mina" after her plate appearances. Mina is not on good terms with Pies management since the trade, based on several tweets from her Twitter feed.[2][3][4] However, Mina seems to maintain a friendly relationship with Telephone.[5]

Batting Career with the Steaks, Seasons 2-5

Mina was soon accepted upon joining the Dallas Steaks in Season β2, thanks in large part to her embrace of the team culture and her cooking skills. Mina's pastry-baking skills, on full display during her time with the Pies, were surpassed by her skill in grilling steak, almost garnering her more fans in Dallas's food scene than in Blaseball. She is renowned amongst both her teammates and Steaks fans for knowing exactly how someone wants to have their steak cooked without needing to ask, be it beef, salmon, cauliflower, or any other type of steak one might choose.

Since joining the Steaks, Mina always has a pair of spring-loaded tongs ready to go, even during a game.

Pitching Career with the Steaks, Season 6, and Onward

In the Season β5 postseason, Mina amassed a staggering 1.500 OPS, far surpassing the expectations her star rating and past performance might warrant. The Blobby Fey, frustrated at her success, returned during the offseason and forbade her from batting, warning her of dire consequences if she did. The next day, Mina visited General Manager Philomena A. Minyon to discuss the matter. Mina was relieved to discover that the team had received the Mutual Aid blessing, forcing her to switch roles with Conner Haley and thus averting whatever catastrophe the Blobby Fey had in mind.

Where Haley was a natural hitter who had been forced to pitch, Mina was not so fortunate with regards to her new role; she would have to once again learn a new skillset. Undeterred, Mina set to work, developing herself as a pitcher and hoping to one day outperform her stellar postseason performance with her work on the mound.

Fan Works