Philadelphia Philling

Philadelphia Philling
By @raevpet on Discord
Team	Philly Pies
Species	Unknown
Status	Golden Brown

The Philadelphia Philling ("the Philly Philling") is the mascot for the Philly Pies as of Season Two.

After renovations completed on Tastykake Stadium before the opening of Season 2, the Philling was found in the basement, cooling. A bit of a flake, the Philly Philling is not technically employed by the team, but has a great respect for the rules of Blaseball and has quickly become a fan favorite as a mascot and hype-(man?). The Philling can normally be found on the field in between innings, or in the food court directly behind you. Sometimes flans dress up as the Philling. This has made it hard to tell where the real one is.

There is much speculation regarding the inside of the Philling's pie-like upper body and what flavor it might be. When asked, one staff member remarked: "You don't wanna know". It is not uncommon for visiting fans to try to get of taste of the Philling or poke a finger in, and in the past Tastykake senior staff made it clear that any offenders will spend the night in the stadium's jail. With the team's embrace of prison abolition and the decommissioning of the Pie-nitentary some of the ghosts previously confined to the Oven's jail form the guidance council for a preemptive restorative justice initiative that protects the Philling and deals with other issues.

When the Philly Pies are on the road they don't bring the Philling. After all, Philling always appears at any stadium the Pies are at. Locks mean nothing to the Philling. It has a tendency to make a visit to the opposing teams living room.

Performance

The Philling loves to dance with flans before a game and between innings! Favorite songs include:

• YMCA by The Village People (with fans singing Pie, M, C, A)
• American Pie by Don McLean
• Cherry Pie by Warrant
• Hot 'N' Nasty by Humble Pie
• B.Y.O.B. by System of a Down

Staff Gossip

While little is known about the true nature of the Philling, it is a very common subject of not just flans, but staff and players as well. Attempts to confirm nearly any of these rumors have ended in failure, the exact means of which often becomes rumors themselves. A non-exhaustive list of philling related rumors is collected below.

• The Houston Spies have made several attempts to steal the recipe for the Philling, but thankfully for the spies they have never found out.
• Some seniors from Washington D.C attempted the Philly Cheesesteak Challenge a while ago. They weren't able to complete it due to an after hours encounter with the Philadelphia Philling.
• Despite having Googly Eyes, the Philling is somehow able to wink
  • It is also somehow always staring directly at you
• The Philling has a fan club, but who runs it is unknown. To join one need only accept the Philling into their heart
• The Philling believes in true love, but what the Philling defines as true love is as unknowable as it is
• The Philling's appearance may be related to the sacrifice of a pies fan back in season 2
• The Philling likes anime
• After a game all the good little players get a slice of pie in their lockers. All the bad players get the Philling staring at them, menacingly, in the dark of night.
• Pies front office pays a salary to a Mascot Performer by the name of Andreas Fiorinno. Nobody remembers hiring anyone by this name and the checks go uncashed.
• Birthday Parties featuring the Philling are some of the best in the city. You can not hire the Philling for your birthday party.
• The Philling never speaks, but those who encounter it always know what it means.
• The Philling's favorite bird is the common swallow
• If you were to eat the Philling's filling, you would gain knowledge of all that is contained within the hypocrust.
• The Philling has an interest in Carmelo Plums. It seems exicted when the Pies are about to play a series against Plum's current team and will spend a large portion of the game performing inscrutable dances near the opposing team's dugout.
• Above all else the Philling is a mascot, and all it does serves the purpose of being one.

Fan Art

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  Photo taken by @OmySpy on Discord

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  art by @robonorm