Bright Zimmerman

Bright Zimmerman
Art by @raevpet
Basic Information
Team	Philly Pies
Status	Active
Batting
Pitching
Defense
Running
Dates Active	Jul 20, 2020–present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Item	None
Armor	None
Evolution	Base
Pregame Ritual	Antagonizing umpires
Coffee Style	Coffee?
Blood Type	Psychic
Fate	10
Soulscream	UEAHXUEAHXUHOOAEHOOAEHHEUIEHEUIEHEIXIEEIXIEE
Other Background Information
Favorite Pie	Country Pie

Bright Zimmerman is a pitcher on the Philly Pies, and has been with the team since the start of Internet League Blaseball.

Official League Record

During the Season 5 election, Zimmerman's batting and pitching fell half a star as a part of the Charleston Shoe Thieves' Bad Neighbors blessing.

Player History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Bright Zim (on official documents, Bright Zimmerman) is a merfolk pitcher for the Philly Pies. He gained renown pitching for the Underleagues' Atlantis Sharkbait. When he came ashore, he introduced himself formally as "Bright Zim, merman." His surname was incorrectly recorded as Zimmerman, which still follows him on his official records to this day.

It is rumored that Zim actually joined the team to escape a massive fish debt he had mysteriously accrued in Atlantis. This is supported by the fact that when he first joined the team he initially spent much of his time in disguise as a popular folk musician. After it was pointed out to him that his tail easily gave him away, he abandoned the disguise, feeling rather silly.

While the move to an Internet League Blaseball team is a step up in the world of blaseball, it is one rarely taken by merfolk due to their difficulties in living on land. Zim uses a personal mobility device for this reason. His wheeled aquarium is large enough to sit comfortably inside, and can be steered from within by just a flick of his tail, thanks to sophisticated motion sensing technology. Zim's pitching has been inconsistent since joining the Pies, something he attributes to the differences between pitching through air and water. He has a special Pitching Tank that he plays from, which gives him greater range of motion than the mobility aquarium he uses to get around. It takes roughly ten minutes to set up each time he takes the mound.

The Iron Contract

Due to his lackluster performance Pies GM Sam Hinkie has long sought to remove Zim from the team. However, Zim has taken a liking to the flavor of the water in the Delaware river and adamantly refuses to leave. After taking several community college classes in sports law, Zim was able to create the Iron Contract, one of the most unbreakable contracts in all of Blaseball. Attempts to trade, fire, revoke, or otherwise get rid of Zim have all been thwarted by the Iron Contract's labyrinthine tangle of clauses and stipulations. "You shall never be rid of me!" declared a power-mad Zim, tempting fate. "A hard rain may fall, but it shall not strike me!"

There is a general consensus that none of this would be an issue in the first place if Zim put half as much effort into his pitching as he does thwarting attempts to get him off the roster.