Chorby Short/Rumor Registry

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Chorby Short has 8 Rumors written about so far.

Chorby Short/IF-15.317

Chorby Short is a small American kestrel born in Seattle and currently residing within the boundaries of Yellowstone National Park and surrounding woodland area. The American kestrel, also referred to as the sparrowhawk, is the smallest and most common falcon in North America, with Short being a particularly diminutive example.


Once a resident of Discovery Park, Short was recruited by a very confused ILB intern who was looking for famed underleaguer Sparrow Hawk. Said intern was an ornithology major and mistakenly signed Short to the Seattle Garages. Due to Short’s inability to lift a bat or play music, they were placed in the team’s Shadows.

It was widely considered a positive change[by whom?] when Short was traded onto the Yellowstone Magic, one of the few teams prepared to address their unique needs as a player. They were outfitted with all charms and sigils needed to bat, if only as a single-star hitter. Even Terrell Bradley was quoted as saying, “Frankly, I’m more confused than upset. I hope that little bird is okay out there in the middle of nowhere.” Bradley has not been reachable for comment since.

Short’s time on Cream & Sugar United during the inaugural Coffee Cup was not particularly notable aside from the media’s continual fixation on their relationship to Quack Enjoyable. Continual efforts by press to spin their territorial disputes as a heated rivalry proved fruitless, though, once it was explained to Short by translator (and close personal friend of Short’s) Bonk Jokes that Enjoyable “posed little threat.”


Chorby Short is, by all available accounts, a normal American kestrel. Optimized more for diving than sustained hovering, Short wears several amulets in order to create enough lift to bat. Critics of Short and the Magic’s playstyle have called into question whether this counts as illegal use of performance-enhancing boons. There has been no response from the ILB on the topic.


Short’s most significant media appearances have been as the face of an effort to conserve kestrel populations in the United States. They were the face of the “What Is Happening? How Did I Get Here?” campaign during the Grand Siesta, named for the first words Short spoke upon arriving in Yellowstone. The campaign was focused on understanding the cause of recent sharp declines in kestrel population over the last 50 years, something Short themself remains confused on. In interviews, Short has stated:

“Huh? What? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Is this a game? No? Okay. Is there a game tomorrow? Oh. I don’t know why there are fewer of us. I guess you could look it up. Oh, okay. Maybe you should find out. Hey, when do games start again?”

Chorby Short/IF-24.889

Chorby J. Short is a Boreal Chorus frog (Pseudacris maculata) sukeban (delinquent school girl) who takes guff from no one. One snide remark from anyone about her height and she whacks them with her bat. Despite this abrasive and aggressive personality, her soul melts when she interacts with wildlife, like the Bison that populate Yellowstone National Park. She would move to the park following an extended delay in her application as it was lost in the shadows (somehow having been accidentally mailed to Seattle?) to participate in a work-study programme with the Yellowstone Magic, where she is learning to be a population ecologist.

Chorby's current participation as a star batter on the Magic is the result of her learning that Blaseball, and more specifically always swinging at everything that comes her way, ball, peanut, person, or otherwise is a healthy way to blow off her emotions at the end of a day. She hopes that at the end of her work-study at the park, she has a chance to continue playing blaseball while interacting with wildlife.

Chorby Short/IF-38.312

A Little Witch

Chorby is a magical girl that hangs out in Yellowstone Lake. While she is a witch most of the time, Chorby can also transform into a little frog. Wielding a sourdough bat, a gift from Mike Townsend, Chorby enjoys punk music and hopping fast along the base paths.

Chorby Short/IF-52.14

Chorby Short is a magical little frog that can transform into a magical girl. Short has lived in many places, from Yellowstone to Boston, but most recently she has lived in Breckenridge. It was in Colorado that Short was assimilated into theatre kid culture due to her involvement in the Breckenridge Jazz Hands. Short quickly noticed the parallels between the dramatic lives of magical girls and the drama of theatre and took to it easily.

When not on the Blaseball field, Short can often be seen with Zippy DeShields, one of her Jazz Hands teammates who is a skate kid who can transform into a turtle through magical skateboard tricks. The two like to hang out in a pond in the Pit's library, occasionally causing a ruckus and sometimes helping the library's caretaker, Spears Rogers. Short can also sometimes be found expanding her spell repertoire with the help of her teammates. She is proud of her new agility spells (roller skating tricks she learned from Wyatt Pothos) and weaponized soundwave spells (playing the entire BATS soundtrack on an otamatone). After receiving a Steel Chair in Season β23, Short has perfected the "Makes Your Bones Hurt" spell.

Short feels at home wherever she lives as she is strengthened by her connection to the natural world and the ecosystem, including the people within it, and she loves to befriend all of those people. They will befriend Chorby Short. She likes to keep in contact with her friends from her previous homes, such as Curry Aliciakeyes back in Yellowstone.

Chorby Short/IF-54.493

A Sweet Indefinite

Chorby Short was awakened by the Yellowstone Magic during the Season-8 Election Campfire and Music Festival in Seattle. She--the being has made it known that they prefer "she"--was discovered in a particularly anomalous region of Seattle, in a fugue-like state. Chorby showed a natural affinity for magical acts, and as the Team performed increasingly complicated spells, her now-normal upbeat attitude and erratic movement began to emerge.

Chorby has shown a strong affinity for pastel colors and soft fabric. She clothes herself in approximation of the Magical Girls she is fond of watching on television, and will often cast spells with alternative names to more closely mirror her idols. It is hypothesized that Chorby is very susceptible to the influence of media; a week-long binge of pro-wrestling and the Dragonball anime have permanently impacted Chorby's daily routine. For this reason, rangers closely monitor the media that she is allowed to access. Chorby exhibits psychosis-like symptoms in which she is unable to tell the difference between media and reality, and could be driven to unwittingly commit acts of harm. She has no traditional understanding of morality, her worldview shaped entirely by the examples in television, novels, and the radio. Chorby does not respond well to traditional teaching, nor real-world interaction. If a desired concept is to be taught, rangers apply for an animation to be made according to specially-prepared scripts.

In one notable incident, a lesson on anatomy was prepared by staff, without proper proofreading. The following day, Chorby was observed celebrating her dismemberment and dissection of several parkpark animals. Rangers approached Chorby for questioning, which resulted in [redacted]. The guidelines for media creation and interpersonal interaction with Chorby Short were drafted shortly thereafter.

Short, Surreal

Chorby Short is often described as frog-like. Indeed, she appears as a 106.6cm-tall humanoid with traits resembling an anthropomorphic member of the Order Anura. An incomplete list includes: broad mouth, elongated webbed digits, squat face, meter-long tongue, exaggerated leg-body proportions, moist green epidermis, vocal sac. Chorby has additionally demonstrated the ability to create an adhesive secretion.

Her stature and light voice sometimes seem at-odds with her demeanor, as exposure to media has allowed her to develop a sort of "protagonist focus" in which she becomes quite stoic and determined to complete whatever task she has fixated upon. When she is not in this state, her personality has been described as jovial. Chorby is easily excitable, and loves to run laps while she commandeers conversations.

The most concerning part of Chorby's physiology is an adherence to what rangers have named "Toon-Physics." Her body is seemingly immune to physical harm, and able to alter shape according to stimuli. Chorby Short is unable to feel pain, but reports a discomfort when misshapen. Despite the light-hearted nomenclature, the reality of Chorby's physical changes are often quite gruesome: viscera, blood, and bone are often seen leaving the flesh, or becoming violently misshapen before returning to their established shape. Chorby has sometimes used this trait for means other than survival, such as flattening and extruding herself beneath a locked door.

Chorby Short/IF-59.561


Chorby Short is a Lao-American teenager from Seattle, born into a family of wildlife biologists and zoologists. Short is also a magical girl and aspiring herpetologist[1] who likes transforming into her favorite frog, the green paddy frog (Hylarana erythraea).

Short joined Blaseball while trying to sign up for a summer position as a bat girl, unintentionally signing on as a player in the Shadows for the Seattle Garages instead. While not very good at hitting, Short was happy to try to swing at anything thrown her way after she was transferred to the Yellowstone Magic at the end of Season β8. When not playing, Short was known to explore the park to observe the wildlife, hang out at Yellowstone Lake, and practice her magical powers with the help of teammates. Short's abilities became stronger, both on and off the field, after receiving precognition.

During Season β15, Short was leaving the field after a game against the Garages one moment, and finding herself on second base in a game between the Crabs and Millennials the next. Though more than a little off put by this, as well as her newfound instability, Short warmed up to the Millennials quickly. Short liked to, with the proper precautions taken, explore Central Park searching for frogs and, later on, birds between games. Later transfers to Boston gave Short the opportunity to explore the spatial and temporally unstable ecosystem there. Short rarely found herself lost due to her Homebody-based comfort in any environment.

When asked how she felt about her frequent switching of teams, Short shrugged and explained that "Friendship is what being a magical girl is all about, and there's lots of new friends for me to make on every team, so I’ll be okay."

After a short jaunt across multiple divisions with The Fifth Base, Short ended up in Breckenridge. The theatre kid lifestyle meshed well with the flair and drama of a magical girl, so Short felt at home. While there were disappointingly few non-teammate amphibians or reptiles in the perpetual snow of her new home, Short found that there were plenty of creatures and entities living in the Pit. She was unsure if any of those creatures were amphibians or not, but the only way to find out was first hand exploration.


  • While batting for the Magic, Short was part of a trio often referred to as "The Coven", which consisted of herself, Eizabeth Elliott, and Tiana Wheeler, as the three followed each other in the lineup.
  • When asked, Short denies any memory of what happened after she was Redacted, but does claim that it "wasn't the right environment for a frog."
  • Measurements taken of Short's baserunning times show that Short runs the bases faster as a frog.

Chorby Short/IF-82.663

A Little Froggy

Chorby is a little froggy that hangs out in Yellowstone Lake. While she is a frog most of the time, Chorby can also transform into a magical girl. Wielding a sourdough bat, a gift from Mike Townsend, Chorby enjoys punk music and hopping fast along the base paths.

Chorby Short/IF-83.360

Chorby Short is a blessing and a gift. They hop and bat good, and they run fast. They are smol, and loved by everyone on the Yellowstone Magic. They used to watch Blaseball when they were a wee tadpole. They looked up to Annie Roland. They arre training to become a magical girl.

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  1. Herpetology is the study of amphibians and reptiles.