User:Astrid/XIII draft

At Latesiesta of Season 14, the Breath Mints finished installing their newly-"acquired" PsychoAcoustics system in the Meadow. Shortly thereafter, a loud whine pierced the sky, followed by a crash, a thud, and the clattering of empty Five Loko cans. As the team investigated, they found XIII lying on the floor of Pudge's house on fifth base, beneath a gaping hole (next to the existing, larger hole) in the roof.

XIII spent their first few days dazed and scattered, often seemingly distracted from conversation, and complaining about a mild headache. On Day 77, the headache lessened ever so slightly.

Team members were initially hesitant to acknowledge the unexpected addition to the team, uncertain of their longevity, although most eventually warmed up to their presence. Oscar Vaughan offered them an old spare room in his apartment, which XIII didn't really know how to react to. They appreciated the hospitality, even if Vaughan could be a little overbearing.

As XIII settled in, they started spending more time at Hewitt Best and Marco Stink's apartment. Best quickly grew fond of the young apparition, teaching them theory - both communist and blaseball. Marco Stink simply stared at them, intrigued, listening. They also bonded with PolkaDot Zavala and Mooney Doctor II. Apparently they had a group chat - #clonegang, or something. Isn't that funny?

On Day 78, XIII pitched their only game of their long life. They were at the Polyhedron. They were shut out, losing 0 to 2. Liquid Friend took them out for ice cream after the game. Everyone just wanted the day to last forever.

Over the next few days, it almost felt like they were okay. The team's shared playlist would never be the same again. They made peace with the voices in their head. They tried their hand at cooking. It went well. PolkaDot Zavala promised to teach them eyeliner, but they taught themselves first, just to flex. Leach Ingram had them judge a double-elimination tournament to crown the nastiest Mlonster Energy flavor.

On Day 84, XIII was due to pitch against the Shoe Thieves. They were excited to play. Either way, it's not like the universe cared what they thought. And either way, they never made it to the mound that day.

Trivia

• XIII was originally found lying on the floor of Pudge's house on fifth base.
• XIII's natural hair color is definitely black. Pay no mind to the empty cans of hair dye under the counter.
• Rodriguez Internet gave them an old pair of green cat-ear headphones. They were never seen without them since.
• XIII is... friends? with the Spearmint? Somehow???
• While their eyes normally glow a bright pink, they always wear black-tinted contacts, darkening it to a deep red.
• "Meet the one and only Tilly Hendy" [sic] was the only item on their bucket list.
• The microwave at the clubhouse would always make XIII glitch out a little, should anyone reheat their lunch in their vicinity.