Difference between revisions of "Seattle Garages"

Revision as of 06:21, 2 August 2020

This page is about the Blaseball team; for the band comprised of members of the Blaseball team, see The Garages.

The Seattle Garages are a Blaseball team in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. They have been a part of the Internet League since Season 1^[1]. They are, in terms of pure star ratings, the worst team in Internet League Blaseball, but are generally middling in terms of actual results. The Garages play in the Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility, also known as the Big Garage, which is located inside an aircraft hangar, a garage for planes.

The Garages are also a musical supergroup known by several names comprised of members of the best bands in the Seattle blunge scene. Before each home game, they perform their self-penned team song "Smells Like Team Spirit" in lieu of "The Star-Spangled Banner," which according to team captain and frontman Theodore Duende "doesn't even slap." Notably, pitcher Mike Townsend was kicked out of the group after what they deemed "poor performance in both sense of the word," but remians on the Garages' roster due to legal complications.

The Garages play exclusively against teams that happen to be in the same city as their Eternal Tour, which happens to line up perfectly with their League-mandated game schedule.

The bats used by the Garages are modified to have the appearance of electric guitars, though whether they can actually play any music other than harsh noise is debated by some Blaseball fans.

They are also an anarcho-syndicalist collective.

History

In Season 1, the Garages finished fifth in the Chaotic Evil division. Following the opening of The Forbidden Book, star pitcher Jaylen Hotdogfingers was the first player to be incinerated.

Despite competing for a playoff spot for most of Season 2, the Garages finished with a 46-53 record, good for a fourth-place finish in their division. On Day 77, an event known to fans as The Garage Opening occurred. This has prompted some fans to use the phrase "the Garage Door is open to all fans," referencing both the event itself and "the liminal space between the excitement and disappoint that comes from being a fan of a Seattle splorts team."^{[citation needed]}

Mascots

After failing to agree on a single mascot for the whole team, the Garages have come to a "temporary" solution where each player has their own mascot who roots for each individual player.

Mike Townsend's mascot is often ganged up on by the other 13 mascots, and has had to hire its own security team.

List of player mascots

TBA

Fans

The Garages have a die-hard fanbase known to as the Band. Many fans are known to camp out in the stands for weeks or even months on end, enjoying games and concerts 24/7. An anonymous superfan who claimed to have lived in seat D20 for the last 93 years was quoted as saying, "They may not win the most games, but they definitely rock the most."

Chants

"Park it!"
"Let's rock!"
"MONSTERA MASH!"
"DUENDE!" (excitedly)
"DERRICK!" (exasperatedly)
"TOWNSEND!" (more exasperatedly)
"Please, Blaseball Gods, give us a good pitcher!" (repeated until the words no longer have meaning)

Creative output

Music

The group's early output was animal-themed. A representative song of this era is "About a Squirrel," which is about a squirrel.

Following Jaylen Hotdogfingers's incineration, the Garages recorded "Heart-Shaped Hotdog".

The group recorded "Black Hole Sunbeam" to commemorate the absolute thrashing the Garages gave the Hellmouth Sunbeams on Season 2 Day 54.

Zine

THE SUN IS OUR ENEMY is the official zine of the Garages, edited by Allison Abbott and featuring contributions by various members of the organization.

Controversies

Following the opening of The Forbidden Book at the end of Season 1, some^[Who?] began speculating that the entire Garages team does not actually exist. Proponents of this theory claim that the Garages and their fanbaseare "delusional, hallucinating, enthralled by the restless spirits of Seattle, or perpetuating a hoax designed to attack the heart of the game of Blaseball itself." The most prominent supporters of this conspiracy have been the Hellmouth Sunbeams.

Some fans and players speculate that Jaylen Hotdogfingers was actually murdered by the Sun rather than incinerated by a rogue empire, or that she is not actually dead.

Players

Batters

Pitchers

Incinerated

Jaylen Hotdogfingers

Season Results


Season	Record	Win %	Place in LC Division	Season Notes
1*	43-54	.434	5th	The Forbidden Book was opened after this season, resulting in the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers
2	46-53	.464	4th

*Season 1 is missing the results of Day 98 and 99's games. Blaseball has been lost.

Fan Art

The official bat of the Seattle Garages.	Cover art for "About a Squirrel".	Logo by Cobaltcakes.

↑ Facts/Lore Disambiguation Guide

[1] Facts/Lore Disambiguation Guide

[1]

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-''This page is about the Blaseball team; for the band comprised of members of the Blaseball team, see [[The Garages]].''{{Team|division=[[Chaotic Evil]]|home_town=Seattle|team_slogan="Smells like Team Spirit."|friends=[[Baltimore Crabs]], anyone who loves to rock sans [[Mike Townsend]]|rival=[[Miami Dalé]], [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]], [[Mike Townsend]]|emoji=🎸|social_media=[https://twitter.com/seagarages Twitter]|captain=[[Theodore Duende]]|stadium=[[Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility|The Big Garage]]|image1=GaragesLogo3.png}}The Seattle Garages are a blunge supergroup, anarcho-syndicalist collective, and [[Blaseball]] team in the Chaotic Evil division of the [[Evil League]]. They have been a part of the [[Internet League]] since [[Season 1]]. They are, in pure star ratings, the worst team in Blaseball, but are generally middling in terms of actual results.
+''This page is about the Blaseball team; for the band comprised of members of the Blaseball team, see [[The Garages]].''{{Team|division=[[Chaotic Evil]]|home_town=Seattle|team_slogan="Smells like Team Spirit."|friends=[[Baltimore Crabs]], anyone who loves to rock sans [[Mike Townsend]]|rival=[[Miami Dalé]], [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]], [[Mike Townsend]]|emoji=🎸|social_media=[https://twitter.com/seagarages Twitter]|captain=[[Theodore Duende]]|stadium=[[Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility|The Big Garage]]|image1=GaragesLogo3.png}}The '''Seattle Garages''' are a [[Blaseball]] team in the Chaotic Evil division of the [[Evil League]]. They have been a part of the [[Internet League]] since [[Season 1]]<ref>[[Facts/Lore Disambiguation Guide]]</ref>. They are, in terms of pure star ratings, the worst team in Internet League Blaseball, but are generally middling in terms of actual results. The Garages play in the [[Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility]], also known as the Big Garage, which is located inside an aircraft hangar, a garage for planes.
-The Garages play in the [[Hotdogfingers Memorial Climate Pledge Garage and Parking Facility]], located inside of an aircraft hangar, a garage for planes. The Seattle Garages are also a supergroup known as The Garages, comprised of the best bands in the Seattle blunge scene. They recorded their own team song, "Smells Like Team Spirit", which they perform at the beginning of home games. This is in place of the national anthem, which "doesn't even slap" according to team captain and frontman [[Theodore Duende | Theodore "Teddy Blaseball" Duende]]. After poor performances (in both meanings of the word), [[Mike Townsend]] was kicked out of the Garages in a musical sense, but is still a member of the team in a [[Blaseball]] sense due to legal complications.
+The Garages are also a musical supergroup known by [[The Garages|several names]] comprised of members of the best bands in the Seattle blunge scene. Before each home game, they perform their self-penned team song "Smells Like Team Spirit" in lieu of "The Star-Spangled Banner," which according to team captain and frontman [[Theodore Duende|Theodore Duende]] "doesn't even slap." Notably, pitcher [[Mike Townsend]] was kicked out of the group after what they deemed "poor performance in both sense of the word," but remians on the Garages' roster due to legal complications.
-After [[Jaylen Hotdogfingers]]'s incineration, the Garages recorded "Heart-Shaped Hotdog". Other songs by the Garages include "Black Hole Sunbeam", commemorating the absolute thrashing the Garages gave the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]] on Season 2 Day 54, as well as "About a Squirrel", which is about a squirrel. (Early singles by the Garages were all animal themed for some reason, it wasn't until they got big that they realized they should make music about blaseball instead since they're also a blaseball team.)
+The Garages play exclusively against teams that happen to be in the same city as their Eternal Tour, which happens to line up perfectly with their League-mandated game schedule.
-The Garages only play against teams that happen to be in the same city as their Eternal Tour. By complete coincidence, the Eternal Tour dates happen to line up exactly with their league-mandated game schedule.
+The bats used by the Garages are modified to have the appearance of electric guitars, though whether they can actually play any music other than harsh noise is debated by some Blaseball fans.
-The bats used by the Garages are modified to have the appearance of electric guitars, though whether they can actually play any music other than harsh noise is often debated by Blaseball fans.
+They are also an [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anarcho-syndicalism anarcho-syndicalist collective].
+== History ==
+In [[Season 1]], the Garages finished fifth in the Chaotic Evil division. Following the opening of [[The Forbidden Book]], star pitcher [[Jaylen Hotdogfingers]] was the first player to be [[Incineration|incinerated]].
+Despite competing for a playoff spot for most of [[Season 2]], the Garages finished with a 46-53 record, good for a fourth-place finish in their division. On Day 77, an event known to fans as [[The Garage Opening]] occurred. This has prompted some fans to use the phrase "the Garage Door is open to all fans," referencing both the event itself and "the liminal space between the excitement and disappoint that comes from being a fan of a Seattle splorts team."<sup>[citation needed]</sup>
 == Mascots ==
-Since the hot-headed members of the Garages could never decide on a single team mascot, they have come to a "temporary" solution that each player has their own mascot, who roots for the individual player. Naturally, [[Mike Townsend]]'s mascot is often ganged up on by the other 13 mascots, and has had to hire its own security team.
+After failing to agree on a single mascot for the whole team, the Garages have come to a "temporary" solution where each player has their own mascot who roots for each individual player.
+[[Mike Townsend]]'s mascot is often ganged up on by the other 13 mascots, and has had to hire its own security team.
-=== Player Mascots ===
+=== List of player mascots ===
 TBA
+== Fans ==
-== Fans ==
+The Garages have a die-hard fanbase known to as the Band. Many fans are known to camp out in the stands for weeks or even months on end, enjoying games and concerts 24/7. An anonymous superfan who claimed to have lived in seat D20 for the last 93 years was quoted as saying, "They may not win the most games, but they definitely rock the most."
+== Chants ==
+* "Park it!"
+* "Let's rock!"
+* "MONSTERA MASH!"
+* "DUENDE!" (excitedly)
+* "DERRICK!" (exasperatedly)
+* ''"TOWNSEND!"'' (more exasperatedly)
+* "Please, Blaseball Gods, give us a good pitcher!" (repeated until the words no longer have meaning)
+== Creative output ==
-The Garages have a die-hard fanbase which is often referred to as the Band. Many fans are known to camp out in the stands for weeks or even months on end, enjoying games and concerts 24/7. An anonymous superfan who claimed to have lived in seat D20 for the last 93 years was quoted as saying, "they may not win the most games, but they definitely rock the most."
+=== Music ===
-On Season 2 Day 77, [[The Garage Opening]] occurred. This has prompted some fans to use the phrase "the Garage Door is open to all fans". "Garage Door" here not only referencing the Garage Opening but also referring to the liminal space between the excitement and disappoint that comes from being a fan of a Seattle splorts team.
+The group's early output was animal-themed. A representative song of this era is "About a Squirrel," which is about a squirrel.
-===Chants===
+Following [[Jaylen Hotdogfingers]]'s incineration, the Garages recorded "Heart-Shaped Hotdog".
-* "MONSTERA MASH!"
+The group recorded "Black Hole Sunbeam" to commemorate the absolute thrashing the Garages gave the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]] on Season 2 Day 54.
-* (excited) "DUENDE!"
-* (exasperated) "DERRICK!"
-* (more exasperated) "TOWNSEND!"
-* "Please Blaseball Gods give us a good pitcher" until the words no longer have meaning
-== Official Zine ==
+=== Zine ===
-THE SUN IS OUR ENEMY is the official zine of the Seattle Garages, featuring contributions by various people on the team, and edited by Allison Abbott. Originally started as a single issue commemorative project by Allison Abbott, Arturo Huerta and Ron Monstera following the [[incineration]] of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, the zine became a way for the entire team to process their feelings about the sudden loss of a friend and team leader, through a variety of artistic mediums. Following the success of their first issue, the team decided to continue making the zine, as having a more individual creative outlet provided a boost to morale in the clubhouse.
-Its name, always spelled in all-caps, draws its inspiration from multiple sources, according to an interview with Abbott. "Well, I mean, obviously, there's the fact that most of the clubhouse believes that Jaylen was killed by [[the Sun]] itself, but in there there's also the idea of owning the fact that we're the only team in the league named for an indoor location. It's also kind of a joke about the weather in the Pacific Northwest too. So, you know, it's got a multiplicity in there, that I think we as players were really drawn to."
+[[THE SUN IS OUR ENEMY|''THE SUN IS OUR ENEMY'']] is the official zine of the Garages, edited by [[Allison Abbott]] and featuring contributions by various members of the organization.
-The zine was briefly the subject of boycott in [[Halifax]], Nova Scotia, Canada after Monstera wrote a positive review of [[Jimmy Cartography#Blaseball's Army|Blaseball's Army]], calling the book "an important reminder that Blaseball just isn't as good for players in other parts of the world."
+== Controversies ==
-== Controversy ==
+Following the opening of [[The Forbidden Book]] at the end of [[Season 1]], some<sup>[Who?]</sup> began speculating that the entire Garages team does not actually exist. Proponents of this theory claim that the Garages and their fanbaseare "delusional, hallucinating, enthralled by the restless spirits of Seattle, or perpetuating a hoax designed to attack the heart of the game of [[Blaseball]] itself." The most prominent supporters of this conspiracy have been the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]].
-Following the opening of [[The Forbidden Book]] at the end of [[Season 1]], some<sup>[Who?]</sup> have begun to speculate that the entire Seattle Garages team does not, in fact, exist. Those who claim to have attended Garages games/concerts, or to be members of the team, have been dismissed as delusional, hallucinating, enthralled by the restless spirits of Seattle, or perpetuating a hoax designed to attack the heart of the game of [[Blaseball]] itself. The most prominent supporters of this conspiracy theory have historically been the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]].
-<br />
+Some fans and players speculate that Jaylen Hotdogfingers was actually murdered by [[The Sun|the Sun]] rather than incinerated by a rogue empire, or that she is not actually dead.
 ==Players==
@@ Line 67: / Line 82: @@
 === Incinerated ===
-* [[Jaylen Hotdogfingers]]
+*[[Jaylen Hotdogfingers]]
 ==Season Results==