Rodriguez Internet

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Rodriguez Internet is a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints, and has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Record

Internet joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Kansas City Breath Mints with the Return of Blaseball.

On Season 3, Day 13, Internet swallowed a peanut and had a allergic reaction.

During the Season 3 elections, Internet had their stats randomized due to the Breath Mints winning the Summoning Circle blessing.

During the Season 4 elections, Internet was affected by the Alternate Reality decree, which replaced them with an Alternate, randomizing their stats.

During the Season 9 elections, Internet received the Fire Eater modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Eclipse decree.

During the Season 10 election, Internet received the Repeating modification due to the Breath Mints winning the Rogue Waves blessing.

During the Coffee Cup, Internet played for Royal PoS as a lineup player.

On Season 13, Day 65, Internet swallowed a peanut and had a allergic reaction.

During the Season 16 elections, Internet's batting was increased 1.6 → 3.1 and pitching decreased 1.5 → 0.9 as a result of the Breath Mints' Transfuse will.

On Season 17, Day 5, Internet was  SHELLED in a game with Peanut weather by San Francisco Lovers player Pitching Machine. On Season 17, Day 49, Internet was freed from their shell by birds.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Internet's perceivable form is constructed of several ASCII characters artfully pieced together into the shape of a very kind and talented Blaseball player. In his current form he appears stuck at only dial-up speeds, however, Kansas City's high speed fiber-optic internet may unlock his full potential.

As a personification of the internet itself, the playfully nicknamed "Rod.Net" is well known for his quick thinking and love of cat pictures. Some fans have reportedly seen him keeping a small plush cat on a keychain around his belt, though none can seem to agree as to what the cat looks like. When asked to present the keychain during interviews, Internet consistently laughs to themself before informing the reporter that the alleged feline is "a bit camera shy."

Internet is also known to wear JNCO jeans, both in regular blue and a custom made mint green, which they swear are his secret to being a good player. More often than not, however, it's theorized that this leads to him getting caught stealing more than anything, though Internet has been yet to be seen tripping on their jeans in his day to day life.

After Season 4, Internet was replaced by a doppleganger, nicknamed instead "Rod.Com". At a glance the two appear almost identical, but there are subtle differences between the two.

Original Rodriguez Internet's walk-out music was "Spybreak!" by English electronic duo Propellerheads. Alternate reality Internet's preferred walk-up music is a 15 second unskippable ad. This new Internet always waits for the entire ad to be over before he starts swinging, often resulting in several strikes.

Alternate Internet likes to hand out cookies to fans between at-bats, and then obsessively checks on the status of said cookies throughout the game (and even at future games if he recognizes the fans).

Abilities

  • Very good at recommending gift ideas (often unsolicited).
  • Uses pop-up ads to deflect pop flys into his glove.
  • Experiences lag while base-running, making him easier to tag out.
  • His power increases based on how many fans like and subscribe.

Fan Works

Fan Sites

Gallery

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