Difference between revisions of "Gallup Crueller"

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(After discussion with the previous writer and the rest of the Steaks' fandom, we've decided to move Crueller's lore in a more demon-y way)
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'''Gallup Crueller''' is a lineup player for the [[Dallas Steaks]] and has been with the team since [[Season 7]], Day 67, replacing [[Sebastian Telephone]].
 
'''Gallup Crueller''' is a lineup player for the [[Dallas Steaks]] and has been with the team since [[Season 7]], Day 67, replacing [[Sebastian Telephone]].
  
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== Official League Records ==
 
== Official League Records ==
 
Crueller joined the league on [[Season 7]], Day 67, as a {{Star Rating|1.5}}-star hitter for the [[Dallas Steaks]], due to the [[incineration]] of [[Sebastian Telephone]].
 
Crueller joined the league on [[Season 7]], Day 67, as a {{Star Rating|1.5}}-star hitter for the [[Dallas Steaks]], due to the [[incineration]] of [[Sebastian Telephone]].
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  <!-- If the player has community lore, start the next section with {{Community Lore}} and a == == level header. If not, delete this note. -->
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{{Community Lore}}
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<references />
  
 
== Biography ==
 
== Biography ==
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Crueller is a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poles Polish]-American woman created in a laboratory as part of a science experiment to create the ultimate Polish Blaseball player.
 
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Crueller was made from a blend of the frozen DNA of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stan_Musial Stan Musial], [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Trammell Alan Trammell], [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Niekro Phil Niekro], and [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irena_Szewi%C5%84ska Irena Szewińska]. The goal of the experiment was to create a perfect Polish Blaseball being: A player with the hitting prowess of Musial, the slick fielding glove of Trammell, the crafty pitching arm of Niekro, and the raw speed of Szewińska.
 
  
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Unfortunately, one of the scientists involved in her creation contaminated the lab with [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cruller fried dough crumbs and powdered sugar], severely diluting the quality of her core DNA and leaving her hitting, pitching, and fielding skills severely diminished.  
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=== '''Life Before Blaseball''' ===
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Crueller is a Spite Demon, born from humanity's frustration and anger at those in power misusing that power for their own gain. Before joining the [[Dallas Steaks|Steaks]], Crueller was roaming the [[Mild West]] of the past, taking down oppressive cattle barons and unjust money lenders, wielding her vicious claws, wearing a long duster, and riding her flame-maned stallion, Kapnos.
  
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Szewińska's DNA survived the contamination in closest to original form, giving Crueller solid baserunning speed, though nothing close to the 7 Olympic medal winning and world-record setting sprinting ability of Szewińska.  
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While Crueller's actions were admirable, her motivations were questionable; as a Spite Demon, Crueller draws her lifeforce from inflicting misery upon those she targets, gaining power proportional to the suffering she causes. As she enacted her Spite upon those misusing their power, her strength grew exponentially, and she was known as The Terror of the Mild West at the peak of her reign.
  
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While she did not turn out to be an across the board super-specimen, Crueller remains a capable, if not exceptional, player. And though the laboratory contamination limited her Blaseball skills, she was genetically blessed with a sweet personality and a fantastic braided hairstyle.  
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=== '''Joining the Steaks (Season 7)''' ===
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During the Incineration of [[Sebastian Telephone]], a temporal portal opened, pulling Crueller through the timeline to Season 7, separating her from her beloved Kapnos. Crueller swore revenge on whoever had drawn her away, flailing her claws at any who approached. [[Coach]], seeing an individual in distress, gave a subtle nod toward General Manager [[Philomena A. Minyon]], who managed to calm Crueller down enough to take her aside and explain the situation to her.
  
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Her resilience, charm, and unbiased honesty make her [https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/pollster-ratings/ one of the most reliable Poles] in existence. Teammates and opponents alike often seek out her opinions to guide their own decisions.  <!-- If the player has community lore, start the next section with {{Community Lore}} and a == == level header. If not, delete this note. -->
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With no obvious way to return to her home time, Crueller agreed to try playing for the Steaks in Telephone's place. After hitting a solo home run in her first full game, she felt the agony of the opposing team and their fans and feasted on the energy of their misery. At that moment, Crueller knew that she could make this work. Instead of inflicting immense suffering on one individual at a time, Crueller would cause many people to feel a small amount of splorts-related anguish, granting her enough power to make Blaseball an attractive option without causing lasting harm.
  
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Crueller blames the Rogue Umpires for ripping her away from her home timeline, and would jump at the opportunity to enact revenge upon them. Crueller knows her strength and that it pales in comparison to that of the Rogue Umpires, at least for the moment. Instead, she waits, content to play Blaseball with her new teammates, sate herself on her opponents' suffering, and eat grilled foods for the flavor instead of the sustenance. Crueller enjoys her time spent around the grill and savoring the smoke, which reminds her of Kapnos.{{TeamNavSelector|steaks}}
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<references />
 
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{{TeamNavSelector|steaks}}
 
 
{{TeamCategorySelector|steaks}}
 
{{TeamCategorySelector|steaks}}
 
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Revision as of 22:32, 17 September 2020

Gallup Crueller is a lineup player for the Dallas Steaks and has been with the team since Season 7, Day 67, replacing Sebastian Telephone.


Official League Records

Crueller joined the league on Season 7, Day 67, as a -star hitter for the Dallas Steaks, due to the incineration of Sebastian Telephone.


COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Biography

Life Before Blaseball

Crueller is a Spite Demon, born from humanity's frustration and anger at those in power misusing that power for their own gain. Before joining the Steaks, Crueller was roaming the Mild West of the past, taking down oppressive cattle barons and unjust money lenders, wielding her vicious claws, wearing a long duster, and riding her flame-maned stallion, Kapnos.

While Crueller's actions were admirable, her motivations were questionable; as a Spite Demon, Crueller draws her lifeforce from inflicting misery upon those she targets, gaining power proportional to the suffering she causes. As she enacted her Spite upon those misusing their power, her strength grew exponentially, and she was known as The Terror of the Mild West at the peak of her reign.

Joining the Steaks (Season 7)

During the Incineration of Sebastian Telephone, a temporal portal opened, pulling Crueller through the timeline to Season 7, separating her from her beloved Kapnos. Crueller swore revenge on whoever had drawn her away, flailing her claws at any who approached. Coach, seeing an individual in distress, gave a subtle nod toward General Manager Philomena A. Minyon, who managed to calm Crueller down enough to take her aside and explain the situation to her.

With no obvious way to return to her home time, Crueller agreed to try playing for the Steaks in Telephone's place. After hitting a solo home run in her first full game, she felt the agony of the opposing team and their fans and feasted on the energy of their misery. At that moment, Crueller knew that she could make this work. Instead of inflicting immense suffering on one individual at a time, Crueller would cause many people to feel a small amount of splorts-related anguish, granting her enough power to make Blaseball an attractive option without causing lasting harm.

Crueller blames the Rogue Umpires for ripping her away from her home timeline, and would jump at the opportunity to enact revenge upon them. Crueller knows her strength and that it pales in comparison to that of the Rogue Umpires, at least for the moment. Instead, she waits, content to play Blaseball with her new teammates, sate herself on her opponents' suffering, and eat grilled foods for the flavor instead of the sustenance. Crueller enjoys her time spent around the grill and savoring the smoke, which reminds her of Kapnos.

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