Difference between revisions of "Declan Suzanne"

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Revision as of 00:40, 10 September 2020


Declan Suzanne is a batter for the Chicago Firefighters. Suzanne has been with the Firefighters since the start of Internet League Blaseball.

Official League Record

In Season 3, Day 77, Suzanne had an allergic reaction to a peanut, dropping their rating from 3 stars to 2 stars. However, at the end of Season 3, the blessing Performance Enhancing Demons brought Suzanne's rating back up to 3 stars.

On Season 5, Day 112, Suzanne had an allergic reaction to a peanut, dropping their rating from 3 stars to 1.5 stars.

As a result of the Katamari blessing won by the Firefighters in the Season 5 election, Suzanne's defense rating increased by .

History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Declan began his career as a critically panned nlovelist, having published a series of infamous plup blaseball romance mysteries, the Three Strikes Series, which included the nlovels One Strike Past Midnight, Two Strikes And You’re In, and Three Strikes And You’re Dead. His books still top the bestsellers list for blaseball romance mysteries, as there are no other nlovels on that list.

After receiving far less recognition than he would have liked for his nlovels, Declan decided to pivot to playing blaseball full-time. He was recruited to the Chicago Firefighters after coming to The Fire House for a nlovel signing and just never leaving.


He always appears both on and off the field with his legendary sword, whose name he says is a powerful secret, but occasionally parcels out cryptic hints as to what it might be. Its apparent that its just a sword he bought from the flea market though, and its really weird he always brings it around with him. The batting coaches often get angry at Declan at practice as he stands around swinging his sword around making "whoosh" sounds instead of doing batting practice. He insists in interviews that he is not disappointed that fans respect his sword's privacy, that it is 'totally cool of them,' and that he is not scowling, that's just what his face looks like.


Declan steadfastly refuses to pay full price for anything, often annoying team mates by asking to borrow money for "lunch" but always spending it at the flea market on swords. All the Firefighters team members have to keep their things locked up because Declan is always "borrowing" them. Declan even stole a peanut from Baby Urlacher, a literal child, and even after having an anaphylactic reaction said it was "totally worth it." Declan can often be found after Firefighter games hitchhiking home from the stadium or rooting through the lost and found because he "totally forgot he left this here."

Declan's allergic reaction on Season 5 Day 112 was the source of much conflict among Firefighter fans. Some claimed that he stole the peanut from Baby Urlacher, commenting "Declan is the worst" and that "he KNEW he was allergic". Other fans claim that Declan heroically threw himself in the way of the peanut to save another Firefighter and that it was his sacrifice which allowed the Firefighters to become the Internet Series champions of Season 5.

Like all of us, he is from Chicago. His jersey number is 708.

Trivia

  • He was once awarded two Michelin stars, although they were later revoked due to Crimes.
  • Declan loves hitting into double plays, saying that two outs for one is such a great deal.
  • He totally has that $50 dollars he owes you but he JUST lost his wallet, he'll totally get you back next time.
  • Declan literally steals candy from babies, especially Baby Urlacher
  • Declan's family, friends, and fans are all very disappointed in him.

Fan Art