Beasley Day

From Blaseball Wiki

Beasley Day is a lineup player for the Philly Pies. Day has been a member of the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

Day joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Philly Pies with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season 5 election, Day's batting and defense fell from to as a part of the Charleston Shoe Thieves' Bad Neighbors blessing.

During the Coffee Cup, Day played for Club de Calf as a lineup player.

After returning from  Elsewhere stamp.png during Season 13, Day was the first player to be Scattered and briefly named -easley Day.

During the Season 14 elections, Day received a combined stat change of 8.3 -> 12.7 as a result of the Pies' Infuse will. Day also received the Minimalist modification as a result of the Garages' receiving the Min-Maxing blessing.

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Pies catcher Beasley Day is a three headed dog, specifically appearing to be a beagle/Cerberus hybrid. He is most commonly referred to by he/him/his and “a good boy” and, despite the three heads occasionally showing slight differences in reactions and personality, is generally considered to be one singular dog.

Recruitment

There has been some slight controversy, with the reveal of the fabrication of Nicholas Mora’s status as “the original pie” and Day’s inherent connection to the symbolism of Hades, but at the moment he is still believed to be one of the few remaining original Pies on the roster. He was brought to the very first Pies practice in preparation for season 1, and the staff and other players were instantly enamored by him. No rule against dogs playing blaseball could be found, and he was given a spot with no argument.

Since his recruitment, Beasley spends close to all of his time within The Oven, having access to food, a bed, and oh so many treats and chew toys there. For much of his early career, staff limited his food to dog treats and Tastykake products. However, late in season 14, Beasley was found to be sneaking into the hot dog stand at night. The change in diet significantly improved his play, so The Oven staff made the decision to leave it unlocked and fully stocked overnight in the future.

Day also was given his own dedicated room within The Oven, including a pie tin shaped dog bed, and plush merch sold at the team store. These toys, especially those which look like The Philling, have to be either repaired or replaced frequently. However, despite this, it’s rare the Day actually ends up sleeping overnight in this room. Instead, he more commonly ends up either sleeping curled on top of another player’s feet, or somewhere in the Underhot, near a particularly warm pipe.

Position on the Team

Beasley is unique, being one of the only players in the IBL to exclusively play catcher when the opposing team is batting, despite catcher not actually being a recognized position in blaseball. This tradition began the first time a pitch was thrown at a Pies practice when, sensing a game of fetch, Day ran after it from where he was positioned in the outfield, almost trampled batter Juan Rangel, and returned the ball to pitcher Elvis Figueroa.

Beasley’s relationship to the other Pies players blurs the line between teammate, moral support, and even to some extent, team pet/mascot. The later does not escape the notice of The Philling, the teams official, widely feared, mascot. This has lead to a rivalry of sorts forming between Day and The Philling, which has seemed only to intensify with each passing season. Beasley seems to be intent on tasting the mascot’s fabled philling, a desire likely spurred by the large portion of his diet that consists purely of Tastykake.

The relationship between the two is mostly Beasley chasing the Philling around The Oven between innings and games, much to the delight of fans who assume the mascot is in on the act, and the Philling producing a variety of japes and tomfoolery that seem potentially quite lethal, but Day always manages to avoid.

Despite all of this, the two have also been secretly observed acting quite friendly towards each other on occasion. While its unknown if and where the Philling sleeps, it sometimes pets Beasley when he is too tired to give chase, and Beasley has acted friendly in return. However, the two can switch back at a moment’s notice with little to no warning, although neither seems surprised nor hurt when this happens.

No player on the Pies could ever be described as “disliking” Day, due to his natural charm and adorableness. However, team captain Eduardo Woodman has frequently expressed exasperation at Day. This is often instigated by his failure to stick with preplanned strategies, and his propensity to try and steal bases despite his relative inability to actually do so.

Woodman has attempted to raise these concerns in practices, but the subsequent comforting of Beasley by the other players of the roster has meant that any attempt to change his playstyle has largely failed.

Beasley Day wears three collars at all times, each with a third of his name, and a different phone number on it. The tags switch frequently, with phone numbers for different Pies players each day, though since her return to the team, one has always been Jessica Telephone’s number.

Jessica telephone seems to be a favorite of Beasley, now that Woods is gone. However, it doesn’t seem like he can differentiate between her and his personal idol, the skateboarding dog, and treats the two as interchangeable. This trend started during the Dirtbag JT years, when she fed him a tastykake-based edible as a joke. The treat didn’t start a habit, but he was glad to have the experience.

Public Reception

Despite his relatively mediocre performance over the seasons, Beasley Day is frequently touted as a flan favorite player. He has never garnered the large scale disdain other middling and bad Pies players have, with fans frequently chanting “Good Boy” and some variation of “Walkies for Beasley,” even when he performs poorly.

An event of note was Beasley’s first trip to Elsewhere. Shortly after flooding began, Beasley was swept away by immateria when the opposing team’s pitcher pretended to throw a pitch, but really he was hiding it in his hand. While he wasn’t the first player to be swept elsewhere, he was gone significantly longer than many other players, and was still missing when the season ended.

When Beasley did return, he was the first player in the IBL to have the “Scattered” condition, with his name changed to -easly Day. For a brief period of time, no players or flans could remember what letter his name did start with. As the effect was new, everyone was uncertain whether it would be permanent. Once the condition did end, he maintained a lasting change to his appearance.


Beasley Day, despite his relatively uneventful career, lackluster skills, and mildly frustrating playstyle, has maintained his place over the seasons as a Pies flan favorite. Having earned accolades like season 12 “Flan Favorite,” “Goodest boy,” and frequently coming in runner up for “Biggest Underdog” in the seasonal MVP elections, Day has secured his place in the culture of Philly.


Interdimensional Rumor Mill

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Movie Star Good Boy

Continuing the tradition of Pies’ participation in cinema, Day is an incredibly prominent canine movie star. He stared in a Woodman original movie, called Top Dog, written by roommates Lang Richardson and Ruslan Greatness.

In the movie he wore three pairs of mirrored sunglasses and a custom crafted suit and tie. The movie won tons of awards, due to Beasley’s performance and the amazing plot, written by Lang. Lang refused to write dog related puns, so he put down placeholders where Ruslan would write the jokes. Although it resulted in grammatical inconsistencies, the puns were the funniest thing ever written. Many sources said that the jokes were not intentional, and Ruslan was just filling in the natural dialogue.

The plot of the movie is: All of the Pies work for a secret agency called P.I.E. (Philadelphia Intel Examination), where they try to uncover mysteries and stop nasty crime guys. Yusef Puddles hacks into space and sees that the moon's evil twin "The Noom" is attempting to enter Earth's atmosphere to end all blaseball.

In the end, the pies beat the noom by using the power of friendship. It ends with a cliffhanger where Yusef hacks into the Noom and sees that the noom was under the coin's payroll. Since this movie takes place in between the s14 finals and the election, Jessica Telephone skates into the P.I.E. headquarters and says "Heard you guys pies need some help" in a post credits scene. The movie was instantly renewed for a sequel.

The US government refused to help supply military equipment and funding for the film, because they were uncertain where P.I.E. fit into the US armed services. When the concern was raised, reportedly, all of Beasley’s heads barked continuously until they left. All required funding was skimmed of the top of the My Roomie Ruslan Reboot’s crowdfunding, with the promise the money would be returned after the inevitable box office success.

In addition, Beasley has gone on to play every single dog in the Jlohn Wick series, assisted by CGI. He has also done extensive mo-cap work for canine video game characters. Rumors of a Beasley day cameo in My Roomie Ruslan season ten have been circulating since the season’s announcement, but everyone involved has remained tight lipped up until this point.