UserWiki:Iznj

Guy Gulp is a player in the Shadows for the Hellmouth Sunbeams, and has been with the team since the Season 22 Endseason.

Official League Records

Gulp joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Hellmouth Sunbeams as the Sunbeams' Season 22 Overbracket Playoff Birth.

On Season 23, Day 48, Gulp joined the Sunbeams' lineup in exchange for Phineas Wormthrice at Lower Moab Scenic Overlook Field via the Ratified Voicemail.

On Season 24, Day 72, Gulp retreated to the Sunbeams' Shadows in exchange for Borg Ruiz due to Night.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Personal Life

Born during the Grand Siesta, Guy Gulp was brought into a world where the modern incarnation of Internet League Blaseball was a simple fact of life. Goop grew up local to the Hellmouth with zir three siblings and after receiving a misprinted TLOPPs card from his older sister, he found a love for Blaseball and the home team. Though this was unusual for Hellmouth residents, zir love for the splort and the Sunbeams has been unwavering, and even lead to an extensive collection of unique and personally-valued TLOPPs cards.

As Guy Gulp neared adulthood, he found zirself in a sudden position of responsibility, left to take care of his two younger siblings after the eldest was no longer in the picture. For reasons potentially unrelated, Guy Gulp would soon find zirself employed at the local 7-Helleven. This is where he would remain until zir recruitment to the Hellmouth Sunbeam, as well as after it, and likely during it.

Guy Gulp's personality has been described most succinctly by those around him as "I just work here." Often interpreted as a reflection of zir casual demeanor and intention to do what's required of him and little else.

That said, though Guy Gulp can come across as aloof, those close to zir seem to have shared several moments of warmth and connection with him, only sometimes delivered in the same matter-of-fact way as a purchase total. Still, on occasion, you can find zir turning off his hearing aid to avoid unwanted conversation.

Adaptation

As a lifelong Hellmouth resident, [Guy Gulp] has doubtlessly undergone an Adaptation of sorts, though it's suitably both 'incredibly unique' and 'alarmingly dull' at once. This Adaptation has a wide array of infrequent side-effects, though the single consistent feature seems to be [Guy Gulp]'s name having become near-completely imperceptible to anyone besides zirself. That being ‘near-completely’ in the most literal sense, as it’s simply by virtue of his first and last initial seeming to be universally understood.

Though this quirk leads to [Guy Gulp] being called a variety of names instead of [Guy Gulp], such as [Guy Gulp], or [Guy Gulp], by both fans and teammates alike, it's largely proved inoffensive in zir day-to-day life — outside of occasional struggles with bureaucracy.

In rare cases, [Guy Gulp] has been observed to be… well, difficult to observe. He seems to fade from conscious perception as casually as zir name does, though he appears to have little to no control over when this occurs, what's overlooked, or to what extent.

Employment at 7-Helleven

For reasons not fully understood by zir fellow Hellmouth natives, [Guy Gulp]’s status as a provider for his siblings necessitated employment in zir mind. Ever since, he has been employed at the local 7-Helleven, working a 24 Hour Shift, 7 Days of the Week. Ze doesn’t seem particularly bothered by these hours, showing up to each shift and somehow covering his conspicuously and consistently absent coworker’s shifts as well.

This shouldn’t be mistaken for too intense a work ethic, however. [Guy Gulp]’s performance at 7-Helleven can be described as a shockingly effective bare minimum. Zir employer doesn’t seem to mind, as each and every day you can find [Guy Gulp] behind the counter at 7-Helleven.

[Guy Gulp] insists that since joining the Hellmouth Sunbeams that he gets ‘Blase breaks’, but many claim to have seen [Guy Gulp] working the register even during active games.

Plug Yug and/or Yug Plug

[Guy Gulp], predictably struggling to cope with the added working hours of his 24/7 Shift, once crept into the backroom late at night to rest. Leaning back, and accidentally toppling over a pile of conspicuously-stacked crates, a visibly-locked box was revealed, looking somehow both dilapidated, worn, and freshly sealed.

After fumbling with it half-heartedly for a few moments out of a natural curiosity, a satisfying snap rang through Guy’s hearing aid with a crackle of static, and ze was suddenly washed over with disparate sensations. Dry, rough sensations rolling from his fingertips to his shoulders, intense pressure in small areas all over them, followed by something shocking, but not as unpleasant. Viscous fluid flowed between stones, the mixture of two eventually settling over [Guy Gulp]’s arms in a larger simulacra of their shape.

These arms, according to an inconsistently-written manual contained in the box, consisted of two dubiously-sentient entities. Silent beings each comprised entirely of an element. One, Plug Yug, was formed by the more traditional “Stone.” However, its counterpart, Yug Plug, was of “Slime.” They seemed to function harmoniously, quietly working together to form new shapes and move around to assist [Guy Gulp] with his work, usually as an extra pair of hands or two.

Interestingly, they’re most often only remarked upon or seen by others while [Guy Gulp] is at work. Which, ze always is, when not playing Blaseball. On the field however, the occasional extra-dimensional individual or one with interests in such matters, such as Son Jensen, may be able to perceive and interact with them more frequently.

Career with the Hellmouth Sunbeams

After the Season 22 Playoffs, [Guy Gulp] would get zir chance at a childhood dream of playing for the Hellmouth Sunbeams, being recruited to the team’s Shadows. It was impossible to know how long one would spend in the Shadows upon entering. Some, on both the Sunbeams roster and elsewhere, would go years upon years without being called up to active play. However, it would only be one Season before Phineas Wormthrice, seemingly eager to know what the new toy did, would fling emself through the newly-Ratified Voicemail in exchange for [Guy Gulp].

It wasn’t long before [Guy Gulp] established his personality on the field, being swept away Elsewhere for the first time and quickly returning later that same game, seemingly unphased and in good, dry humor about the whole affair. In spite of appearing largely nonplussed about zir new career, [Guy Gulp] insists on his excitement to be here and love of everything about the splort, even its more dangerous or contentious aspects. Ze claims that Blaseball “captures the spirit of Hellmouth,”^[Who?] and that his home of Hellmouth “captures the spirit of Blaseball.”^[Where?] This passion seems to have translated into a genuine aptitude for the splort, with analysts claiming [Guy Gulp] as a stand-out among Playoff recruits.

Initially, [Guy Gulp]’s appearance on the team caused veteran Sunbeams to grapple with the long-reaching hands of time and just how long it’s been since they’d all started playing, but after the initial shock it wasn’t difficult for [Guy Gulp] to find zir place on the team. Members of the team who have seen a lot of onboarding, particularly Nagomi Nava, appreciates his disposition and enthusiastic — but respectful — attitude toward the game, while ze and Sigmund Castillo seem to share a unique, nearly-unspoken connection.

[Guy Gulp]’s new bonds were put to the test during a nail-biting 16-Inning Game against the Ohio Worms under the added pressure of an Eclipse hanging overhead. Batter after batter would step up to the mound without scoring, but finally the game ended with the sound of [Guy Gulp]’s bat cracking a 3-Run Homer ringing throughout the Solarium, followed by an unintelligible cacophony of names starting with the letter G.

Under Night weather, after the Reader-influenced Sunbeams charged and scattered the Boss, [Guy Gulp] clocked out of his shift in the line-up for Borg Ruiz, who swiped a card from zir TLOPPs collection on the way in for divination purposes.

A Card from Guy’s TLOPPs Collection

This well-worn Discipline-era Walton Sports card has been predictably and humorously misprinted as ‘Walton Splorts.’ Curiously, in addition to the misprinted name, for some reason the blaseball he’s holding doesn’t appear to be regulation, despite looking very similar to the one seen in properly-printed copies of the card.

Trivia

• Gulp has a pet amphibian, though much like its owner's name, no one seems to be able to quite recall what species it is, and give conflicting reports on the subject.

• Nobody is certain where Gulp got his often worn green glasses, but Sunbeams fashion fans are quick to notice the way in which the plastic realistically drips from the frames. It even is realistically slippery and Gulp often has to realistically clean it up!

• Gulp has been implicated in multiple potential romantic entanglements, but seems to maintain that none of them are formal relationships and that ze is “just focused on work right now.”

• As his siblings begun to age out of zir care and he remains static due to zir Blaseball career, Gulp has recently chosen to move into the basement of a house with some of his fellow “newbies,” possibly as a means of separating zirself from this baggage.

• Reports have proven that Gulp is quite a noted fan of tie-dye shirts. Upon recruitment to the team, Hahn Fox has been quoted saying, “One of the first things he  asked me is whether or not ze could wear his tie-dye shirts on the field. I was a bit confused, but ze looked so sad and I didn’t mind. I don’t think his boss lets zir wear what he wants, but we’ve set such a precedent, who am I to stop zir.” Though Gulp does often still play in uniform, fans are often excited to see him on a “Guy Tie-Dye Day.”

Fan Works

da fanworks go here ya know it