Dallas Steaks

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Revision as of 03:33, 15 August 2020 by ValosLowe (talk | contribs) (Fixed burnt ends link)

The Dallas Steaks are a Blaseball team in the Lawful Good division of the Good League. They have been a part of the Blaseball League since Season 1.



Roster

Lineup

Pitchers

Select Tlopps cards can be found here.


Former Players

Incinerated

Blessings and Trades


Season Results

Season 1

The Dallas Steaks finished Season 1 as one of the 4 top scoring teams in the Good League, and advanced to the Internet Series playoffs. They were defeated and eliminated in the first round of the playoffs by the Chicago Firefighters.

Season 2

The Steaks had an excellent Season 2, and ended the season with the best record in the League: 72 wins and 27 losses, securing themselves a seat in the Playoffs as the #1 seed from the Good League.

Despite taking an early 2 game lead in their Round 1 Playoff match versus the Charleston Shoe Thieves, the Steaks were unable to clinch a third game win, and were eventually defeated by the Shoe Thieves 3-2 and eliminated from the Playoffs.

The Steaks did not receive any Blessings at the end of Season 2.

Season 3

The Steaks faced tough competition in the Good League in Season 3. The Steaks had not been beefed up by any Season 2 Blessings, and 3 of their opponents in the Good League had received the powerful 4th Strike. The Steaks had a raw start to the season, going 0-3 in their first 3 games. After 28 games, the Steak's record was a pathetic 11-17. Many critics raked the Steaks over the coals, declaring the team burnt out, past their prime, or just plain cooked.

However, as the season progressed, the Steaks proved that they still had a little sizzle left in them. The team avoided the allergic reactions and incinerations that hamstrung many other teams during the season, and gradually warmed up and began bringing home the bacon for eager Steaks fans. With fan-favorite hitter Marco Stink gaining a star and a half after a peanut-assisted Yummy Reaction, the Steaks began to develop a depth of talent on the field that rivaled their depth of flavor off of it.

Near the end of Season 3, the Steaks found themselves in a spicy battle with the Yellowstone Magic for the final Good League postseason qualifier position. Where other, softer teams might have crumbled, the well-seasoned Steaks proved they could take the heat, smoking the Los Angeles Tacos 5-1 to finish the season 55-44 and make the cut for the post season over the 53-46 Magic. Well Done indeed!

The Steaks were defeated 3-1 in the first round of the Season 3 Postseason by the New York Millennials.

The Steaks did not receive any blessings in the Season 3 election.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Team Overview

This section will contain a brief history of the Steaks, once they have one. For more information, please see Dallas Steaks/History.

Staff

For a list of all current and former staff members, see Dallas Steaks/Staff.

The current coach of the Dallas Steaks is Coach, an enigma who stands atop the stadium. Due to the searing Texas sun, they can only be seen in silhouette, but Coach is an inspiring presence nonetheless.

Philomena A. Minyon is the general manager of the Steaks. She is the only person employed by the Steaks who wears a suit, but fans say that Minyon's cool, confident demeanor gives this usually formal attire a rather casual air. She likes it when you call her Phil.

Mascots

For a list of all current and former mascots, see Dallas Steaks/Mascots.

The current mascot for the Steaks' is The Grill Master, a rotating position of local fans who embrace the grill. Along with keeping crowd energy high, The Grill Master is in charge of maintaining the barbecue pit in the right field bleachers and helping new fans feel welcome and find the groups they feel most comfortable in. It is widely acknowledged that the duties for each game's Grill Master are quite demanding, given the significant grilling, barbecuing and social skills needed, so the Steaks instituted the Grill Apprentice program. Any fan that would like to be a Grill Master but feels they aren't yet ready for it can sign up for the program, and they will be assigned a Grill Dad, a previous Grill Master who helps them develop their skills, including identifying by sight alone a steak's doneness or if chicken or pork are fully cooked, the techniques for applying proper grill marks, and how to tell a groan-worthy but endearing dad joke.

Fan Culture

For more on the Dallas Steaks' fan culture, see Dallas Steaks/Fan Culture

Fans of the Dallas Steaks are most commonly known as Meatheads, Grillers, Cowpokes, and Grilldads. There was originally heated debate over the official nickname for Dallas fans, but then it was realized that a good dad will call you whatever makes you happy, so long as you don't call them late for dinner. Accordingly, all nicknames are considered official; they just need to have that BDE, "big dad energy."

Steaks fans pride themselves on their acceptance of just about anyone, with no regard for gender, race, religion or sexual orientation, so long as they enjoy a good cookout (actual steak is optional). Meatheads are known to root for every team in ILB, including the teams they are playing against; to them, it doesn't matter who wins or loses so long as you try your hardest and had fun. After each game, Grillers will take the fans of the other team to Braum's for ice cream.

Following season 3, Cowpokes learned that fans of the Charleston Shoe Thieves had declared the Steaks their rivals. The Cowpokes aren't sure why Charleston suddenly has beef with Dallas, but the rivalry certainly seems to make Charleston fans happy, so they play along. As such, Grilldads are known to leave old pairs of shoes on the porch at night whenever the Shoe Thieves come into town. The anti-Charleston chants are not very good.

Stadium

For more on the Dallas Steaks' stadium, see Dallas Steaks/Stadium

The George Foreman Stadium was built in Arlington, Texas on what used to be a Glolf course. The stadium is constructed in the shape of a ribeye steak, and remnants of the glolf course can still be seen, including an intact plutting green behind second base complete with a flagstick.

The right field bleachers are known as The Pit as a result of the competition-sized barbecue pit built there, overseen by The Grill Master and their lieutenants; it always includes a wide variety of meat and vegetarian options. Side dishes are brought by fans in a potluck, and they are kept on a 20-foot buffet built into the top of the right field wall. The seats to the left of the third base foul pole are colloquially known as The Gristle; it is said fans in those seats have to be extra tough in order to endure the high number of foul balls hit there.

Both the home and away dugouts have been named, and the names are stenciled on the roof of each dugout. The home dugout is called The PorterHouse. Meanwhile, the dugout for the visiting team is named The Burnt Ends, but an unknown fan has spray-painted under the name, "But that's a good thing, not an insult. Burnt ends are really delicious!" After realizing this was something that might be confusing to people from non-barbecue areas, the graffiti was allowed to stay. The Kansas City Breath Mints have never been confused by this.

Fan Art

To be added. Also see, Dallas Steaks/Fan Art.

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