Charleston Shoe Thieves
The Charleston Shoe Thieves are a Blaseball team in the Chaotic Good division of the Good League. They have been a part of the Blaseball League since Season 1. The official Team Colors are Yellow, Cyan, and Dark Green-Gray. The Shoe Thieves Stadium play in Choux Stadium, a quaint French-Patisserie in the the reclaimed forest of Mt. Pleasant, where entry is free but all fans who enter mysteriously leave barefoot, their shoes taken by the Stadium Gnomes. However homophobes, racists, specists, and other bigots are also allowed free entry and subsequently spirited away never to be seen again.
Rumors that the gnomes are just mutant raccoons that have learned speech are entirely unsubstantiated and should not be believed. - Rotoi Noycrop, Local and Fan
Presumably this is how the franchise makes profit. However, the pain au chocolat was described by Painstry Monthly as "divine."
For several seasons the Shoe Thieves disputed the New York Millennials claim to be "the gayest team in blaseball" but were ultimately forced to cede their rival claim after losing a pivotal game of Rlock Plaper Sclissors (with the Shoe Thieves represented by Esme Ramsey and the Millennials by Theodore Cervantes). According the to terms of the game, the Shoe Thieves technically maintain the right to call themselves "the second gayest team in blaseball", but this title is not popularly used.
Staff
For more information about current/former staff, see Charleston Shoe Thieves/Staff
- Owner: Ownership is distributed among patrons of the Choux Stadium
- General Manager: Cornelius Games
- Manager: You!
- Pitching Coach: The spirit of Matteo Prestige
Stadium
For more infomation on the Charleston Shoe Thieves' stadium see Charleston Shoe Thieves/Stadium
The Choux Stadium is a French Patisserie in the forest of Mt. Pleasant. Rumours that the gnomes are just mutant raccoons are unsubstantiated.
History
The Shoe Thieves began not as a blaseball team, but as a band of footwear larcenists lead by legendary master thief Cornelius Games. After attending a game of Blaseball to support his husband Richardson Games of the New York Millennials, Games began to formulate a plan to pose as a blaseball team as a cover for stealing rare and expensive blaseball shoes. In addition to his existing crew, he won over his old rival Workman Gloom and recruited local cryptid Ren Hunter to play on the false team.
"Shoe Thieves" was used as a placeholder name for the team while they debated on what the least suspicious name for their false front would be. However, Forrest Bookbaby, then working as Games' intern, was eager to impress his criminal idol and submitted the paperwork early as a show of initiative, before the name could be changed. Thus, the Charleston Shoe Thieves were born.
While the team was originally created solely as a front for a heist, to their amazement, they proved to be quite competent at the splort, winning several games and attracting the attention of free agent Esme Ramsey, whose addition as a reliable hitter helped them compete toe to toe with the rest of the league. While there was some initial tension within the team about whether to finish the heist or abandon it in favor of "going straight", they soon discovered they could continue to steal shoes while competing as a legitimate blaseball team by passing their thefts off as a beloved gimmick.
The Two Out Rally
A majority of the Shoe Thieves' runs occur after they have had two outs in their half-inning. This "Two Out Rally" has become a known phenomenon amongst the fanbase. There are several proposed explanations, with none in particular standing out as more likely. Esme Ramsey, when questioned about this, simply stated: "It's the only time we feel alive."
Players
Batters
- Morrow Doyle
- Ren Hunter
- Velazquez Alstott
- Antonio Wallace
- Stu Trololol
- Sebastian Woodman
- Workman Gloom
- Esme Ramsey
- Blood Hamburger
Pitchers
Former Players
- Sebastian Townsend (replaced by Atlas Jonbois)
- Atlas Jonbois (replaced by Sebastian Woodman)
- Matteo Prestige (replaced by Gunther O'Brian)
- Blankenship Fischer (replaced by Blood Hamburger Season 3, Day 75)
- Forrest Bookbaby (Season 1-3, traded to the Philly Pies for Kevin Dudley)
Season Results
The Shoe Thieves narrowly secured The Good League's fourth and final playoff spot in Game 98 of Season 2, edging out the Yellowstone Magic to proceed to the playoffs with a final record of 50-49, the least wins of any playoff team that season.
Historic Moments
Stu Stole Home (Season 2, Day 26)
In the bottom of the 14th inning in a game against the Hawaii Fridays, Stu Trololol stole fourth base (incorrectly notated as Home) to put the Fridays into Shame.
Stu Stole Home 2 (Season 2, Day 71)
In the bottom of the 8th inning in a game against the New York Millennials, Trololol again stole fourth base to secure a 6-5 win for the Shoe Thieves.
The Prestige (Season 2, Day 102)
After two consecutive losses in the first round of the Season 2 playoffs against the Dallas Steaks, Matteo Prestige pitched a 7-0 shutout that kept the Shoe Thieves in the playoffs despite the Steaks being the odds-on favorites, cementing their place as a Charleston Shoe Thieves legend.
The Underdog (Season 2, Day 108)
Following a season in which they entered the playoffs with the worst win/loss record of any playoff team, and defeating the league leaders the Dallas Steaks 3-2 and their division rivals the Boston Flowers 3-0, the Shoe Thieves faced the Philly Pies, who were the Season 1 champions, undefeated in the postseason, and so far undefeated in the Season 2 playoffs as well. Despite being the betting odds underdogs, the Shoe Thieves beat the Pies 9-4, breaking their playoff victory streak. Beasley Gloom, the starting pitcher in game one, earned the nickname "underdog" both for his role in such a significant upset victory and his status as the team's only canine player.
Cobbler Coffee (Season 2/3 Offseason)
During Game 2 of the Season 2 Finals against the Philly Pies, starting pitcher Cornelius Games swapped his place on the mound with remarkably convincing doppelganger (later revealed to be a local tram operator Games encountered on the way to the stadium). The dubiously legal substitute performed notably worse than Games's average, allowing 12 runs and potentially contributing to the Shoe Thieves loss. However, the distraction allowed Games to successfully break into the Pies' locker room and steal a pair of sneakers from star batter Jessica Telephone's locker.
Over the course of the following Offseason, Games was able to convince all of the Shoe Thieves' batters to drink Yes Plz! Coffee from the sneakers, hoping ingesting trace amounts of the legendary hitter's sweat would substantially increase their batting prowess in preparation for Season 3.
The Grand Unslam (Season 3, Day 73)
In a game against the Los Angeles Tacos, at the top of the 15th inning, Shoe Thieves player Morrow Doyle hit a grand slam that shook the very foundations of Blaseball itself. More information can be found here.
Chants
The Shoe Thieves fans often chant "blood" whenever Blood Hamburger is up to bat. The cheer is always said in bold.
The most popular Shoe Thieves chant is a call and response, most frequently utilized after a victory:
"Whose kicks?" / "Our kicks!"
Fan Art
 Logo by Cobaltcakes. |
 Art by Josh Millard. |
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