Road Kill

From Blaseball Wiki

New Player
This player was recently called up to the ILB. If you would like to write lore, please put it on the Talk page for community discussion.

Road Kill is a lineup player for the Pandemonium Artists.

Official League Records

Kill joined Internet League Blaseball as a hitter for the Pandemonium Artists during the inaugural Coffee Cup.

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Player History

Road Kill is a part-crab part-goblin creature that, for all intents and purposes, should not be alive... let alone play blaseball. However, it persists to spite the gods.


  • It is three apples tall (If an apple was 1 foot tall)
  • Has an aggressively strong Pittsburgh accent
  • Evil

Box of Road Kill Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn鈥檛 one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-70.84 and start reading...


  • 3x bags of garden mulch
  • 15x jawbones, various
  • 1x meteorite, mesosiderite
  • 2.25L blood (any)
  • 4x deer stomachs, sown in daisy chain formation
  • 2x spools surgical thread
  • 1x uncut topaz
  • 3x bundles of: parsley sprigs, nettle, appalachian orchid, bracken fern (bundled in yarn of each primary color)
  • 1x metal fork, stolen
  • 4x car batteries
  • 2x highway carcasses (any)