Kaz Fiasco/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Kaz Fiasco has 3 Rumors written about so far.
Kaz Fiasco/IF-21.600
Before Blaseball
Kaz Fiasco, presumably, existed before he started playing blaseball.
On the Worms
Kaz Fiasco began his career with the Ohio Worms in season 13.
On the Sunbeams
In season 17 Kaz Fiasco was caught in the feedback with Iggy Delacruz and traded to the Hellmouth Sunbeams where Fiasco quickly found their niche. His adaptation appeared to be the ability to manipulate light with his wings, an ability which made him popular around the Hotdog Moth and Thesus Mothman, the other moth inhabitants of Hellmouth. These two became friends of Fiasco's, helping him to feel comfortable in his new home.
Among his team, Fiasco's chaotic energy was embraced by Kaj Statter Jr., and the two became close friends, often to the frustration of pitcher Jayden Wright. However, another side to him was seen late at night, when he would wander the halls of Sigmund Castillo, following lights to talk to whichever Sunbeams were still awake. This habit led to Fiasco learning a lot about their teammates, as well as picking up knowledge on subjects as varied as Bone Law to car maintenance to hat making. After the incineration of Iggy Delacruz, Fiasco helped the Sunbeams and Worms to make memorial lanterns for their old teammate. One of these can be found in the Augusta Chadwell Memorial Park and Promenade, and the other burns in pride of place in Castillo's common room.
On the Pies
During the season 19 elections, Kaz Fiasco was traded to the Philly Pies for Elvis Figueroa, where he played on the team for only 5 days in season 20 before being feedbacked to the Baltimore Crabs.
On the Crabs
After being feedbacked to the Crabs for Jacoby Podcast, Fiasco was faxed into the shadows in his debut game. This didn’t do much to keep Fiasco down however, as he was quickly picked up by fellow Crabs shadow player Bevan Underbuck, who showed him around the city and helped him get acquainted with the rest of the team. Unfortunately for Underbuck, it only took a few days for Fiasco to discover that when startled Underbuck could leap vertically up to 10 feet in the air, and they never knew peace again. This is also where Fiasco was about to reunite with an old teammate, Enid Marlow. While Marlow and Fiasco had never been particularly close on the worms (with Marlow having a somewhat uncomfortable fascination with him due to his parentage), Fiasco was happy to find Marlow had “chilled out a little” since then, and that the unassuming Underbuck was also good friends with her, keeping Marlow on her best behaviour.
One thing Fiasco was fascinated to learn about was the process of Carcinization. Having undergone both the Worm’s Blacklight Mode and the Sunbeam’s Adaptation, Fiasco was the first player to undergo all three of these processes, and while Baltimoreans knew better than to snoop on this before Fiasco was ready, they were all curious to see just what those effects might be. For his part Fiasco was excited to have these badges connecting him to various communities of the immaterial plane and their people, taking them in stride as a physical reflection of his own time in the league. Sure enough after some time in the city, the night sky that dotted the inside of his wings gained constellations that seemed to move on their own, swirling and reforming into figures that would carry out their days like many of the living art pieces in Baltimore. There was one constellation that did always have a space as the stars reformed and reorganized themselves on his wings: Cancer Minor - the crab constellation.
Return to Active Play
In Season 18 Fiasco joined the active roster for the Crabs as a batter, quickly becoming one of their star hitters, and a favourite “funny little moth man” of the fans. This is also when FIasco began meeting and interacting with more of the roster, participating with reunions of Crabs new and old. In particular this is when Fiasco crossed paths with Sutton Dreamy, former crab and furrent Friday, who told Fiasco all about the old traditions that had fallen off in the chaos of the expansion era. Fiasco took it upon himself to try and bring some of that energy back to the team, taking naps with Finn James while they were supposed to be practicing, inviting the team to watch Crabs in the postseason, and breaking into Kennedy Loser’s townhouse. (Loser did request that the tradition of “randomly showing up at his house” be restricted to daylight hours going forward). While sometimes disastrous, the team did appreciate the thought and commented that they “hadn’t even realized it was missing until we started doing it again, but it had been missed”.
In season 22 thanks to the Subtractor Avoidance blessing, Kaz Fiasco became a subtractor, meaning all of his runs were being counted negatively. Despite being glad to bring some much needed levity to the last seasons of the era, Fiasco couldn’t help but be frustrated that the path he had chosen so long ago and the work that he had put into it were now counting against his teammates. Regardless of the effects of his runs, he simply refused to stop being good at blaseball. It was teammate Alston Cerveza that sympathized the most with this frustration, having spent a season as an Underachiever before his alternation. While Fiasco correctly pointed out that Cerveza’s condition was less damaging to the team, he still appreciated the company, and began going to Cerveza more for general life advice, implausible stories, and excitement in the form of random attacks by Danish assassins.
Approaching the Event Horizon
As season 24 approached Fiasco had a sense of impending doom, not from the many known signs of impending doom, but from his innate sense of doom that came with his mothman nature. This peaked when his friend and teammate Finn James was pitching against the Fridays during their incineration - while James took the loss hard, Fiasco kept her company between games, even after she was faxed out for Alston Cerveza as the season progressed.
Fiasco himself was fairly nonchalant about the end of the world, being more distressed at the thought of not being able to play blaseball anymore than the framework of the immaterial plane falling apart, the laws of reality being consumed, and teams drifting aimlessly through the void in their stadiums. Fiasco did express some regret that they couldn’t go see the Pulsar up close, because he considered it to be “a giant lamp that no one on the team would let [him] go touch”. In the end, as the Crabs sailed off towards the Event Horizon, where Fiasco was excited to see the Ohio Worms again after many seasons, and reiterated that the end of the world wasn’t really such a huge deal.Kaz Fiasco/IF-59.463
Appearance
Kaz Fiasco is a humanoid-adjacent figure closely resembling the forms and patterns of an Eastern Buck Moth (Hemileuca maia), including a pair of semi-functional wings. He's often seen wearing casual dark clothing that matches the fuzz across his body, even when playing Blaseball. Kaz is often referred to as “the mothman”, "mothboy", "lamp boy", or "друг", but he resents this.
History
Kaz joined the Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio
The Worm knew that their time was limited. It would be a disaster to fail and perish now before their progeny escaped The Breach.
With nothing to guide them through the immateria, The Worms would undoubtedly be erased. A Plan was enacted.
The Worm, using the last of its strength, searched throughout the nebulae for a suitable vessel.
A seed was implanted inside of a streaking comet and pitched across the stars. It would find the way.
Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Worms shortly after the Descension. After the Ohio Worms came into the possession of the Wapakoneta Air, Space, and Worm Museum and Ballpark, a number of projects that were underway at the museum, including t██ ████████o█ ██ ███ █████lf, were put up█n the Worm█. ████████████ took it upon thems██ves to see the proje█t th█████, and was able to successfully ███n█ ███ ou█ ██ stas█s. Kaz was frightened and very apprehensive, though █hey eve█t█ally began t█ grow clos██ █o the team, with Le███ █rumb quickly becoming a sort of father f█████ ███ ███ ████ ███████████ ████ ██ ███████ ██████████ ███
A Cocoon, Hatched
[the following is a newspaper clipping from the Wapakoneta Daily, a local newspaper]
COMET CRASH LANDS INTO WAPAKONETA AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM
| Yesterday, around 4 AM in the morning, a deafening crash was heard across the city as a comet the size of a small automobile flew through the sky and plummeted straight into the local Air and Space Museum. Thankfully nobody was injured as the museum had been closed for the night, but extreme damages were sustained to the building and many of the exhibits inside. The staff are still combing through the wreckage to see what is still salvageable, but preliminary findings are not looking good. According to astronomers, the comet that fell had not been observed previously and it’s origins are unknown. The comet is currently being held in the museum for further study. On a lighthearted note, the comet will make for an excellent display in the future, says museum director. |
I still hear it. The voice on the edge of the world. I didn't ask for this. Constantly haunted by the dead signals of a long lost god. I'm so tired.
I know, son. We'll get through this. It's been hard on all of us. I'm just thankful we all made it through.
. . . . .
I have to ask, though... why.. Ohio?
Kaz Fiasco/IF-64.752
History
Before being recruited to the Ohio Worms, Kaz Fiasco was a small time stage magician known for both his "Gallagher-esque" stage performances, and also resulting criminal record.
Magician
As a magician, Kaz's performances involved many fireworks, used in exclusively unsafe manners. His "hammer-o-matic" routine, in which he took a baseball bat to various fireworks alongside passable jokes, both delighted and terrified crowds (correlating directly with proximity to the stage), and eventually led to his dishonorable discharge from the Magician's Corps after one particularly tragic performance. When asked to comment by a local paper, Kaz simply repeated his famous catchphrase (removed for clarity) and sadly drove his garish sedan away.
Criminal
After losing his Magician's License, Kaz turned his pyrotechnic skills towards crime, amassing a several hundred dollar fortune from a multi-state petty crime spree in which he robbed several firework stores, atms, and banks, all through creative and ill-advised fireworks use (as well as baseball bat use). He was finally apprehended trying to Roman Candle through a bank vault door, after one of his pinwheel fireworks set off a silent alarm (which Kaz, to this day, insists should be illegal). When read his Miranda rights by the arresting officers, Kaz once again repeated his catchphrase, to the displeasure of everyone involved.
The ILB
After two decades in "the big house" Kaz was finally granted parole, and was soon recruited by the Ohio Worms for his skill with a baseball bat, as well as his skill in running from the law. Kaz enjoyed a relatively successful career as a part of several championship winning teams, and will be tragically killed when his gunpowder-corked bat misfires during a future ILB season.
Appearance
In his time at the ILB, Kaz was renowned for his button-up shirts and his silver fox charm, as well as the iconic scorched crater he will leave in his wake.
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