UserWiki:Aquelon

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Post-PODS

Upon the defeat of the Shelled One, Bong fell back to the plane and landed in Los Angeli. They received a less-than-warm welcome, as the Tacos, having lost six players to the PODS, were frustrated that of all the options they could have gotten back they got Bong. Sexton Wheerer was one of the players to initially resent Bong, and concerned about Bong’s (lack of) pitching skills, but accepted that this was his break from pitching every single game and that that was a good thing, and so reluctantly befriended Bong. In retrospect, the team has expressed guilt at taking their grudge out on him, and by the end of the Grand Siesta they were getting along somewhat better.

Bong himself was somewhat abrasive towards the team at first, as a defense mechanism. (provide examples of what that looks like; this is also important characterization). He missed his old teammates greatly. However, they found the lack of expectations in Los Angeli freeing, as the Bong family was not as big a deal there as back in Miami. Bong and Valentine Games were known to often have long conversations over ice cream.

Season 12

On Season 12, Day 37, Wyatt Quitter Shelled Denzel Scott, revealing that that was something Honey Roasted players could do. (how did the team take this?)

On Season 12, Day 56, Bong Shelled Nerd Pacheco. (tasted the Infinite- describe this. Use a choose function to have the option of having the shattered glass motif.)

The game went into extra innings and I-I just remember feeling so angry. Like suddenly, the fact that no one really wanted me here, that I couldn’t be any of the people they wanted, was all I could think about. And that this was probably going to be my last season of play, and that I wasn’t even good enough for the god damn Tacos, and… And I was just so angry about it, and I just had to take it out on someone, and… If it had been completely involuntary, maybe I could just shrug it off, though I’d definitely still be thinking about the ethics of putting that right. But I can’t do that, and that scares me.

By the end of Season 12, having quite possibly carried the team to Party Time, Bong was at his emotional rock bottom.

In the election that season, Bong was shadowed in exchange for Yummy Elliott. Elliott was genuinely excited to meet him, and did not have the same grudge that the rest of the Tacos had carried. She introduced herself with a stammered “Bongers”, a line which would soon become one of zir catchphrases. Elliott’s kindness was a major help for Bong, and the two soon became friends. Their friendship often manifests as cartoonishly melodramatic overacting, dramatically exaggerating differences of food opinion such as how much brown sugar should be added to chocolate chip cookies.

Nicholas Vincent was another player to soon join active play, and a source of support both for Elliott and for Bong. Xe was not as close a friend to Bong as Elliott was, but was still a friend.

Season 13

In Season 13, an ominous yellow squiggle appeared on the idol board. Teams across the league devised a plan to try and test it out in a potentially less risky manner, and dubbed the plan the Dom Wom Joe Bong Yams Con MVP Plan Extravaganza, Now with extra Pickles. The plan was a partial success: of the six participants, Bong and Sutton Picklestein were the two to make it above the squiggle. This was the same success rate as the plan to get all three Peanut players above the ominous red line had had, and once again involved Bong.

Bong described becoming an MVP as a very validating moment. (insert a quote here that explains how they’ve been able to use their being a joke for good purposes, they’ve helped at least one other person, and this shows that they are liked)

I’m kinda a joke. That’s just the facts! And ultimately, sometimes, that’s a good thing. Like, if everyone looks at the name “Peanut Bong” and decides, that’s funny, it’d be great to get them over the ominous yellow squiggly, then that means other people don’t have to go above the line. And we all know lines are dangerous!

Really, I’m just glad for the reminder that people actually like me. That I matter. And if that can be used to protect even just one other person, well, isn’t that all anyone can ask for?

Plus, did you see when the Coin said “Peanut Bong”? How funny is that?

da shadowz

Bong has used his time shadowed to practice many hobbies, including knitting and baking “chaotically”. He can often be seen cooking breakfast in a frilly yet practical apron, and alongside Elliott (and very rarely, fellow baker Wyatt Dovenpart), has produced a series of ridiculous cooking videos best described as slapstick. He also continues to be a philosopher, preferring to discuss ridiculous hypotheticals over more serious things (provide examples). They have been taking a variety of community college classes for fun. He is also one of the only ones to actually do the laundry on the Tacos.

Bong has become friends with many players from or in the Tacos’ shadows, (elaborate). Although Bong is somewhat on the outside of McKinley Otten and Rat Batson’s friendship, he was helpful towards Otten’s recovery from consumer bites, and like the other two, has a job at the stadium. Bong’s job is to be part of the stadium media team, handling camera work and replays (and stuff). They have a propensity for mischief but are very good at catching small details. He has been known to pick the music to play over stadium loudspeakers, (talk about the trololololol song?). However, when interviewed he swears excessively so that the clips are unairable, “‘cause it’s %#&@ funny!” Bong is known to be the most tech-literate Taco.

Michelle Sportsman, who dislikes using nicknames, is the only one to refer to Bong as “Peanut”. Sportsman also does not even know that he used to be named Dan, although referring to him as such is often a challenge due to a form of name replacement weirdness that is all too familiar to the Tacos, but still easily imperceptible. (that sentence is incoherent. Fix it.)

Bong and Vito Kravitz both enjoy doing things for the sake of being funny, and their annual prank show extravaganza is infamous. Bong also has a lot in common with NaN, and the two get along well.

When asked about his feelings on (all the shelled one stuff), Bong said, “I mean, how am I supposed to make a sandwich without having an existential crisis over it in this condition?” Further details about his experience on the PODS are unknown. They have regularly scheduled therapy sessions with Otten and other licensed LA-area therapists, but as of (season, possibly 20?) have reportedly missed five of the last seven sessions, citing (ok how to characterize he’s avoiding dealing with this).

Revenge of Season 12

On Season 18, Day 107, near the end of the sixth inning, something terrible happened. Nerd Pacheco had just experienced the first-- and to date, the only-- superallergic reaction in known ILB history. (this is not the end of the paragraph).

While Pacheco’s blaseball performance has never recovered, they appear to be content with their new role of full-time research and teaching from the Pies’ shadows. Most of the Sunbeams forgive Bong. This has not entirely stopped Bong from blaming himself.

Revenge of Season 13

the semicentennial was bad

end off on a note that is not that