Difference between revisions of "Seattle Garages"

Revision as of 18:08, 30 July 2020

The Seattle Garages are a Blaseball team in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. They have been a part of the Internet League since Season 1. They are, in pure star ratings, the worst team in Blaseball.

Their stadium is located inside of an aircraft hangar, a garage for planes. The Seattle Garages are also a supergroup comprised of the best bands in the Seattle blunge scene. They recorded their own team song, "Smells Like Team Spirit", which they perform at the beginning of home games. This is in place of the national anthem, which "doesn't even slap" according to team captain and frontman Theodore "Teddy Blaseball" Duende. After poor performances (in both meanings of the word), Mike Townsend was kicked out of the Garages in a musical sense, but is still a member of the team in a Blaseball sense due to legal complications.

After Jaylen Hotdogfingers's incineration, the Garages recorded "Heart-Shaped Hotdog". Other songs by the Garages include "Black Hole Sunbeam", commemorating the absolute thrashing the Garages gave the Hellmouth Sunbeams on Season 2 Day 54, as well as "About a Squirrel", which is about a squirrel.

The Garages only play against teams that happen to be in the same city as their Eternal Tour. By complete coincidence, the Eternal Tour dates happen to line up exactly with their league-mandated game schedule.

Mascots

Since the hot-headed members of the Garages could never decide on a single team mascot, they have come to a "temporary" solution that each player has their own mascot, who roots for the individual player. Naturally, Mike Townsend's mascot is often ganged up on by the other 13 mascots, and has had to hire its own security team.

Player Mascots

TBA

Fans

The Garages have a die-hard fanbase which is often referred to as the Band. Many fans are known to camp out in the stands for weeks or even months on end, enjoying games and concerts 24/7. An anonymous superfan who claimed to have lived in seat D20 for the last 93 years was quoted as saying, "they may not win the most games, but they definitely rock the most."

Chants

"MONSTERA MASH!"
(excited) "DUENDE!"
(exasperated) "DERRICK!"
(more exasperated) "TOWNSEND!"
"Please Blaseball Gods give us a good pitcher" until the words no longer have meaning

Official Zine

THE SUN IS OUR ENEMY is the official zine of the Seattle Garages, featuring contributions by various people on the team, and edited by Allison Abbott. Originally started as a single issue commemorative project by Allison Abbott, Arturo Huerta and Ron Monstera following the incineration of Jaylen Hotdogfingers, the zine became a way for the entire team to process their feelings about the sudden loss of a friend and team leader, through a variety of artistic mediums. Following the success of their first issue, the team decided to continue making the zine, as having a more individual creative outlet provided a boost to morale in the clubhouse.

Its name, always spelled in all-caps, draws its inspiration from multiple sources, according to an interview with Abbott. "Well, I mean, obviously, there's the fact that most of the clubhouse believes that Jaylen was killed by the Sun itself, but in there there's also the idea of owning the fact that we're the only team in the league named for an indoor location. It's also kind of a joke about the weather in the Pacific Northwest too. So, you know, it's got a multiplicity in there, that I think we as players were really drawn to."

Controversy

Following the opening of The Forbidden Book at the end of Season 1, some^[Who?] have begun to speculate that the entire Seattle Garages team does not, in fact, exist. Those who claim to have attended Garages games/concerts, or to be members of the team, have been dismissed as delusional, hallucinating, enthralled by the restless spirits of Seattle, or perpetuating a hoax designed to attack the heart of the game of Blaseball itself. The most prominent supporters of this conspiracy theory have historically been the Hellmouth Sunbeams.

Players

Batters

Pitchers

Incinerated

Jaylen Hotdogfingers

Season Results

To be added

Fan Art

To be added

@@ Line 35: / Line 35: @@
 Its name, always spelled in all-caps, draws its inspiration from multiple sources, according to an interview with Abbott. "Well, I mean, obviously, there's the fact that most of the clubhouse believes that Jaylen was killed by the Sun itself, but in there there's also the idea of owning the fact that we're the only team in the league named for an indoor location. It's also kind of a joke about the weather in the Pacific Northwest too. So, you know, it's got a multiplicity in there, that I think we as players were really drawn to."
+== Controversy ==
+Following the opening of [[The Forbidden Book]] at the end of [[Season 1]], some<sup>[Who?]</sup> have begun to speculate that the entire Seattle Garages team does not, in fact, exist. Those who claim to have attended Garages games/concerts, or to be members of the team, have been dismissed as delusional, hallucinating, enthralled by the restless spirits of Seattle, or perpetuating a hoax designed to attack the heart of the game of [[Blaseball]] itself. The most prominent supporters of this conspiracy theory have historically been the [[Hellmouth Sunbeams]].
+<br />
 ==Players==