PolkaDot Matrix
This player was recently called up to the ILB. If you would like to write lore, please put it on the Talk page for community discussion.
PolkaDot Matrix is a pitcher for the Pandemonium Artists. As a sentient printer, PolkaDot pitches by hurling printed-out pictures of blaseballs at high speed towards batters.
Official League Records
PolkaDot Matrix joined Internet League Blaseball as a (hitter/pitcher/shadows player) for the Pandemonium Artists during the inaugural Coffee Cup.
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
PolkaDot was bought to replace a faulty printer that stopped working in the SIBR offices. Over time, as it was sent more and more cursed blaseball data to print, it slowly grew sentient. PolkaDot grew to resent being left alone for most of the day. Eventually, its anger reached a boiling peak and it went on an office rampage, throwing crushed wads of paper at office workers at high speed. After this, SIBR realized its sentience and introduced it to the other sentient machines who worked there.
PolkaDot pitches by printing pictures of blaseballs at speeds of up to 100 mph.
Personality
Matrix is sassy and loves teasing teammates and strangers alike. It loves toying with people trying to print things, such as forcing them to win a round of tetris at agonizingly slow speeds by printing a single frame every minute. PolkaDot presents an air of aloofness, but this is a front to cover up a deep sense of loneliness. covers up its loneliness. and can often be seen causing problems on purpose people and causes problems on purpose because it's secretly really lonely and the longer someone struggles to print something, the longer it's interacting with polkadot.
PolkaDot can and will bite people who stick their arms too far into the paper tray. During a mouse infestation in the SIBR offices, PolkaDot whirred into the break room and was spotted thirty seconds later zoomed out covered in blood, ink cartridges fully filled.
Relations With Teammates
Espresso Machine helped upgrade its firmware and turn its error beeps and whirs into something resembling a voice. PolkaDot loves to tease Strikes, Looking, who is an easy target for jokes because he takes everything incredibly seriously, and it slightly resents Bob E. Cagayan for the sheer volume of stuff he prints. PolkaDot can often be seen commiserating with Algebra Goldberg about their shared hatred of graphs.
| Players | Batters | |
|---|---|---|
| Pitchers | ||
| Bench | ||
| Bullpen | ||
| Community Lore | ||
| History] | Society Data Witches' History | |
| Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Work 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
| Derive the Stars | ||
