Difference between revisions of "Michelle Sportsman"

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| former=[[LA Unlimited Tacos]], [[Kansas City Breath Mints]], [[Baltimore Crabs]], [[Seattle Garages]]
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| modifications=[[Nullified]]
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| dates= Oct 23, 2020–present <!-- IRL dates active (ex. Jul 20 - Aug 31, 2020) -->
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a Batter for the [[LA Unlimited Tacos]] in the [[Shadows]].
 
  
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' was a pitcher for the [[Seattle Garages]], and was with the team from the {{BetaSeason|22#Election Results|@ elections}} until [[Fall Ball]]. Sportsman has played for the [[LA Unlimited Tacos]], [[Kansas City Breath Mints]], and [[Baltimore Crabs]].
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== Official League Records ==
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Sportsman joined the [[ILB]] as a Batter for the [[LA Unlimited Tacos]] on [[Season]], Day #
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==Official League Records==
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(after the [[incineration]] of [[Incinerated Player]])
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Sportsman joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player in the [[Shadows]] for the [[LA Unlimited Tacos]] as the Tacos' {{BetaSeason|11}} Playoff Birth.
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(via the [[Season#Blessings | '''Blessing name''']] blessing).
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On {{BetaSeason|18}}, Day 3, Sportsman joined the Tacos' active roster in exchange for [[Fish Summer]] as a result of [[Al Pastor Memorial Park]]'s {{ModLink|Fax Machine}}.
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During the {{BetaSeason|19#Election Results|@ elections}}, Sportsman gained the {{ModLink|Underhanded}} modification as a result of the {{BetaSeason|19#Blessings|'''Underhanded'''}} blessing.
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Sportsman was traded to the [[Kansas City Breath Mints]] in exchange for [[Lucas Petty]] during the {{BetaSeason|21#Election Results|@ elections}} via the Breath Mints' '''{{BetaSeason|21#Wills|Equivalent Exchange}}''' will.
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Sportsman was traded to the [[Baltimore Crabs]] in exchange for [[Jon Halifax]] during the {{BetaSeason|22#Election Results|@ elections}} via the Crabs' '''{{BetaSeason|22#Wills|Equivalent Exchange}}''' will, becoming a lineup player in the process. Sportsman was then immediately traded to the [[Seattle Garages]] in exchange for [[Fairwood Patchwork]] via the Breath Mints' '''Equivalent Exchange''' will, becoming a pitcher again in the process.
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{{Community Lore}}
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==Background==
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Michelle Sportsman is a British-Indian immigrant with a storied career in other splorts. Sportsman originally joined the [[Unlimited Tacos|Tacos]] in a coaching role, and after many seasons of the Tacos’ poor performance in blaseball, her background in physical therapy and coaching techniques has led to improved performance from the team. She is often seen disagreeing with Tacos’ team captain [[Mcdowell Mason]] during practices, though not on gamedays.
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Sportsman is usually found wearing team issued tracksuits. She has perfect posture. Her teammates occasionally call her “team mom” as she tries to ensure each member of the team gets adequate rest and recovery. It is rumoured that her treatments have been a factor in the improved performances of [[Basilio Mason]], [[Rat Mason]], [[Yummy Elliott]] and [[Wyatt Mason IV]].
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==Journalist Notes==
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The following is an excerpt from a handwritten draft of an article by an unknown journalist, found discarded near [[Al Pastor Memorial Park]] during the Offseason before {{BetaSeason|18}}:
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">Who is Michelle Sportsman? That’s the question I set out to answer when I donned my third-best splort coat and grabbed a bus to [[Al Pastor Memorial Park]] this morning. Little did I know that I would end up {{Spoiler|☁☁☁☁☁}}.</span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">{{Spoiler|❥❥☁☁❥❥}} was (is?) the physical therapist for the [[LA Unlimited Tacos]]. During the Grand Siesta, she started practicing with the team as well. As far as I can tell, she wasn’t recruited by the infamous but reclusive [[Al Pastor]], but joined the team willingly, which makes her an outlier among the Tacos.
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I first saw Sportsman during a Lateseason 17 game, when she was in the bullpen talking very intently with [[Mcdowell Mason]] about something. She was standing with a player I’d never seen before, and am still not sure was {{Spoiler|✹✹✹✹✹}} gesturing at the newly-installed Fax Machine. M. Mason shrugged and walked out to the field, and that half-visible player relieved Yummy Elliott at the pitcher’s mound an inning later. I think. It’s all rather vague in my memory, to be entirely honest, except for Sportsman, who was dressed in an impeccably-tailored tracksuit in Tacos colors.</span>
  
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{{AutomatedPlayerNav|0cb44026-ebf0-4870-b98e-e620b0814808|LA Unlimited Tacos}}
 
  
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">Rather worse for wear, I was standing in front of Sportsman’s office door. I wasn’t sure if I should take my coat off or leave it on. I chose on, although the staining was beginning to spread. <del>[the next section goes on and on about the splort coat and a bruised shin and feeling nervous, and about how this is probably far too self-indulgent for a newspaper profile, to which this editor wholeheartedly agrees, no probably about it.]</del>
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As we shook hands, {{Spoiler|❥❥☁☁❥❥}} her perfect posture, and caught myself straightening up just a bit, even though I think my posture is quite acceptable. She smirked. “What can I help you with?” she asked me, pouring two cups of water from a pitcher on her small desk and handing me one. “Here, stay hydrated. Would you like a snack bar? I promise that [[Yummy Elliott]] did not make them.”.</span>
  
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">I politely declined the snack but accepted the water, which tasted faintly of limes. The first thing I noticed about the office was the display case full of splorts trophies: flootball, flutbol, tlennis, glolf, ultimate frisbee, and more. I looked closer, and noticed that her name was written on pieces of tape and stuck over the original names. “You play a lot of splorts,” I said, and realized how inane that sounded. “How did you get so many trophies?” A slightly better question. “I beat the original owners.” There was a glint in her eye and I suddenly felt like the topic was best left at that.</span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">The rest of the large office was filled with physical fitness equipment of all shapes and sizes, along with a bookshelf and many different books about splorts training and fitness. There was a a photo of her standing with a large otter, both of them grinning, taped to one corner of the shelf. In front of an assortment of variously sized chairs and pillows, there was a TV and VCR with a stack of video cassette tapes. The tapes had the names of Tacos players past and present, along with dates. “Training videos!” Sportsman said. “I keep records of everyone’s performance. Would you like to watch one? Let’s see, I’ve got a [[Rat Mason]] collection somewhere in here…”</span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">rude to scare our guests like that!” she said. “Funny, though,” [[Vito Kravitz]] said, and pulled his signature sunglasses from somewhere and put them on as he walked off. When my heart finally stopped racing, I thanked Michelle Sportsman for her time. As I headed out, she’d already started talking to [[Rat Batson]] and [[Basilio Mason]] about adjusting the fit on [[Yummy Elliott]]’s uniform to give zir better range of motion.</span>
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==Fan Works==
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<gallery widths="185">
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File:Michelle Sportsman.png|alt=A digital drawing of a smiling, older Indian woman who is waving. She is fat, and wearing a purple and yellow blaseball uniform. She has thick, dark hair with some grey streaks that is pulled into a ponytail. The background of the drawing is pastel yellow and orange, and behind the woman is her silhouette in red, green and purple. The drawing is signed above her left shoulder with \"deerstained\".|Sportsman by [https://twitter.com/deerstained/status/1392334640619397122 '''@deerstained''']
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File:Michelle and Layna.png|Sportsman brushing alternated [[Alaynabella Hollywood]]<br />by @squirrel_saloli#6559
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File:Michelle shortersneakier.jpg|Sportsman prepping a pitch, by [https://twitter.com/ShorterSneakier/status/1396946418015801344?s=20 ShorterSneakier]
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File:Michelle tarot birbteef.jpg|Queen of Swords, by [https://twitter.com/birbteef/status/1437947621059006467 @birbteef]
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[[Category:Players with the Nullified modification]]
 
[[Category:Playoff Births]]
 
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[[Category:Former Shadows Players]]
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[[Category:Hall Of Fame Inductees]]
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[[Category:Hall Of Fame Inductees For Discipline or Expansion Era]]
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Latest revision as of 13:18, 23 February 2023

Michelle Sportsman was a pitcher for the Seattle Garages, and was with the team from the Season β22 elections until Fall Ball. Sportsman has played for the LA Unlimited Tacos, Kansas City Breath Mints, and Baltimore Crabs.

Official League Records

Sportsman joined the ILB as a lineup player in the Shadows for the LA Unlimited Tacos as the Tacos' Season β11 Playoff Birth.

On Season β18, Day 3, Sportsman joined the Tacos' active roster in exchange for Fish Summer as a result of Al Pastor Memorial Park's Fax Machine.

During the Season β19 elections, Sportsman gained the Underhanded modification as a result of the Underhanded blessing.

Sportsman was traded to the Kansas City Breath Mints in exchange for Lucas Petty during the Season β21 elections via the Breath Mints' Equivalent Exchange will.

Sportsman was traded to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Jon Halifax during the Season β22 elections via the Crabs' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process. Sportsman was then immediately traded to the Seattle Garages in exchange for Fairwood Patchwork via the Breath Mints' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher again in the process.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Background

Michelle Sportsman is a British-Indian immigrant with a storied career in other splorts. Sportsman originally joined the Tacos in a coaching role, and after many seasons of the Tacos’ poor performance in blaseball, her background in physical therapy and coaching techniques has led to improved performance from the team. She is often seen disagreeing with Tacos’ team captain Mcdowell Mason during practices, though not on gamedays.

Sportsman is usually found wearing team issued tracksuits. She has perfect posture. Her teammates occasionally call her “team mom” as she tries to ensure each member of the team gets adequate rest and recovery. It is rumoured that her treatments have been a factor in the improved performances of Basilio Mason, Rat Mason, Yummy Elliott and Wyatt Mason IV.

Journalist Notes

The following is an excerpt from a handwritten draft of an article by an unknown journalist, found discarded near Al Pastor Memorial Park during the Offseason before Season β18:


The rest of the large office was filled with physical fitness equipment of all shapes and sizes, along with a bookshelf and many different books about splorts training and fitness. There was a a photo of her standing with a large otter, both of them grinning, taped to one corner of the shelf. In front of an assortment of variously sized chairs and pillows, there was a TV and VCR with a stack of video cassette tapes. The tapes had the names of Tacos players past and present, along with dates. “Training videos!” Sportsman said. “I keep records of everyone’s performance. Would you like to watch one? Let’s see, I’ve got a Rat Mason collection somewhere in here…”

Fan Works


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