Difference between revisions of "Houston Spies"

Revision as of 11:49, 9 August 2020

The Houston Spies are a Blaseball team in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. They have been a part of the Blaseball League since Season 1. The Spies are exclusively concerned with playing blaseball, and reports that assert the organization is a "front" have no basis in provable fact.

The Spies play their home games at an undisclosed location thought to be in Houston. For security purposes, the Spies' mascot is changed daily. Spies players have special dispensation from the league not to use bats - while they may appear to use bats, these are in fact specially built magnifying glasses with very large handles. Spies players are easily recognizable in their distinctive uniform trench coat, which is worn at all times. Anyone not wearing a trench coat is self-evidently not a spy, and you need not worry about them, or their interest in your dossiers.

It has been noted that Spies players are generally referred to using they/them pronouns (with the notable exception of Math Velazquez). It has been theorised that Spies players likely use a variety of pronouns for themselves, but that this personal information has been classified by the Spies organisation in all public sources. However, as the document which sets out which elements of Spies players' identities are classified is itself heavily classified, this theory is unproven. It has also been suggested that Spies players are generally without gender, or that Spies frequently change genders and that usage of they/them is a time-saving measure, to avoid spending vast amounts of time updating gendered references in personnel files.

Players

Batters

Pitchers

Alumni

Dickerson Greatness (Incinerated Season 2, Day 65)
Miki Santana (Incinerated Season 3, Day 76)

Season Results

Season 1

Effortlessly qualified for playoffs. Made short work of the Hades Tigers in the first round of the postseason, before a narrow loss to eventual winners the Philly Pies. Mathematicians have pointed out that any team knocked out by the eventual winners have as much right to the second place spot as the team that loses in the finals.

Season 2

While many league historians claim that the spies didn't reach the playoffs in season 2, no independently verifiable eyewitness accounts attest to this. Sadly, the details of their season 2 playoffs campaign, assuming it took place, are most likely lost to the ages.

Season 3

The Spies had an incredible showing in season 3, with their ultimate fate still undecided going into the final day of games. In the end, the Spies were victorious, becoming the final team to secure a spot at Party Time.

Chants

Athlimasmologists have documented numerous Spies chants, both for the whole team and a few for individual players. By far the most popular Spies chant is "We could be you! We could be me!". This is thought to be a reference to the Spies' historical usage of double agents, though Spies management insists these tactics are a thing of the past. Other classic Spies chants include "Houston... We are the Problem" and "Bang BANG".

Spies fans have a unique tradition of chants spoken in a hushed tone; due to the sheer number of Spies fans these quiet murmurs can often be heard from miles away. Examples of such whisper chants are "Always Watching", "Evidence? What Evidence?", "The Truth Must be Known. You Can't Unsee the Truth", "We Can See You", and "█████████████████ the █████████████████████████████████ pomegranate █████████████!".

Other Spies chants refer to specific players. When Son Scotch goes to up bat, they are greeted with cries of "My Son!" or "That's My Son!". Yeong-Ho Benitez is the subject of a chant which goes "Young Hero! Yeong-Ho Go Go Go!". Fitzgerald Blackburn's imminent arrival in the court of blaseball is presaged with the chant "There's Nowhere Left to Turn! Prepare to Feel The Burn!". Math Velazquez has no fixed chants, but when Math is pitching Spies fans can be heard yelling out various equations.

Fan Art

Alternative logo
Alternative logo by Cobaltcakes.
Fanart by Crash.
Fanart by Orange#7738 on Discord.
Math Velazquez blaseball card by Powernaps.
Fanart by PyromanticArts.
Son Scotch fanart by dooby.

@@ Line 43: / Line 43: @@
 == Chants ==
-Athlimasmologists have documented numerous Spies chants, both for the whole team and a few for individual players. By far the most popular Spies chant is "We could be you! We could be me!". This is thought to be a reference to the Spies' historical usage of double agents, though Spies management insists these tactics are a thing of the past. Two other classic Spies chants include "Houston... We are the Problem" and "Bang BANG".
+Athlimasmologists have documented numerous Spies chants, both for the whole team and a few for individual players. By far the most popular Spies chant is "We could be you! We could be me!". This is thought to be a reference to the Spies' historical usage of double agents, though Spies management insists these tactics are a thing of the past. Other classic Spies chants include "Houston... We are the Problem" and "Bang BANG".
 Spies fans have a unique tradition of chants spoken in a hushed tone; due to the sheer number of Spies fans these quiet murmurs can often be heard from miles away. Examples of such whisper chants are "Always Watching", "Evidence? What Evidence?", "The Truth Must be Known. You Can't Unsee the Truth", "We Can See You", and "█████████████████ the █████████████████████████████████ pomegranate █████████████!".