Difference between revisions of "Alyssa Harrell"

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{{Player|team=[[New York Millennials]]|rating=★½|status=Alive|species=NA|pronouns=she/her|image1=<tabber>
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{{NewAutomatedPlayer
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  On-File Photo =   [[File:AlyssaHarrell.jpg|300px]]
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| image1=Alyssaharrellseason7.png
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  |-|
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| caption1=
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  Tlopps Card = [[File:AlyssaHarrellCard.jpg|250px]]
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| former=[[Hades Tigers]], [[New York Millennials]], [[Yellowstone Magic]], [[Philly Pies]], [[Baltimore Crabs]], [[Chicago Firefighters]], [[Hawai'i Fridays]]
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  |-|
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| modifications=[[Nullified]]
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</tabber>|dislikes=Tillman Henderson}}Harrell is a batter for the [[New York Millennials]]. Harrel has been with the team since the start of [[Season 4]].
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| dates=Jul 20, 2020&ndash;Apr 9, 2021
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| evolution=Base
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| pronouns=she/her
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| species=N/A
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| side_hustle=Amateur landscape photographer
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| dislikes=Tillman Henderson
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| uuid  =80de2b05-e0d4-4d33-9297-9951b2b5c950
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}}
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'''{{PAGENAME}}''' was a pitcher for the [[Hawai'i Fridays]], and had been with the team since the {{BetaSeason|20#Elections Results|@ elections}} until [[Fall Ball]]. Harrell has played for the [[Hades Tigers]], [[New York Millennials]], [[Yellowstone Magic]], [[Philly Pies]], [[Baltimore Crabs]], and [[Chicago Firefighters]].
  
 
==Official League Records==
 
==Official League Records==
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Harrell played for the [[Hades Tigers]] in [[Season 1]] and was traded to the Millennials in exchange for [[Mclaughlin Scorpler]] by the Tigers' ''Exile'' [[blessing]] during the [[Season 3#Election Results|Season 3 elections]].<br />{{Community Lore}}
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Harrell joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Hades Tigers]] with {{BetaSeason|1|the Return of Blaseball}}. Harrell's stats were randomized by the {{BetaSeason|1#Blessings|'''Soul Swap'''}} blessing at the end of the season, resulting in a batting stat of {{Star Rating|1.5}}.
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Harrell does not exist. Harrell always tries her best and will get 'em next time. She takes the team out for melted ice cream after each game, win or lose.
 
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It was first determined that Harrell does not exist when, in mid-conversation with her in the dugout, [[Nagomi Meng]] turned to smile at Harrell and realized that she doesn't exist. It is posited by some that Harrell never existed, but it's impossible to know anything about something as hypothetical and forbidden as the past.
 
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Harrell has made it clear that, if given the chance, she would sacrifice every single fan in the stadium. One by one.
 
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The first day of Harrell's move to the [[New York Millennials]] was difficult, largely due to the fact she doesn't exist and the Mills hadn't noticed her arrive. Not wanting her to feel left out again, the players now call out for a "Harrell Check" so Harrell can let them know she isn't there.
 
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Although she has , likely from developing a side gig for contractual reasons, Harrell is yet to reconsider the stance that, if given the chance, she would sacrifice every single fan in the stadium. One by one.
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Harrell was traded to the [[New York Millennials]] in exchange for [[Mclaughlin Scorpler]] during the {{BetaSeason|3#Election Results|@ elections}} via the {{BetaSeason|3#Blessings|'''Exile'''}} blessing.
  
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On {{BetaSeason|4}}, Day 15, Harrell was exchanged to the [[Yellowstone Magic]] due to [[Feedback]]. Harrell was replaced by [[Penelope Mathews]]. On Day 16 (the game immediately following the feedback swap), Harrell hit two singles to help the Magic come back from 0-4 to beat the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]], 17-5.
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[[File:AlyssaSingle.png|thumb|Harrell hitting a single on Season 4 Day 16, leading the Magic to victory on the game immediately after Harrell's feedback swap.]]
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At the {{BetaSeason|4#Election Results|end of Season 4}}, Harrell was affected by the {{BetaSeason|4#Decrees|'''Alternate Reality'''}} decree which randomized Harrell's stats, including an increase in batting stats to {{Star Rating|2.5}}.
  
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At the {{BetaSeason|5#Election%20Results|end of Season 5}}, Harrell's pitching fell by {{Star Rating|.5}} as a result of the [[Charleston Shoe Thieves]]' {{BetaSeason|5#Blessings|'''Bad Neighbors'''}} blessing.
  
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On {{BetaSeason|6}}, Day 40, Harrell siphoned some of [[Philly Pies]] batter [[Kennedy Cena]]'s defense stats in a game with [[Blooddrain]] weather, bringing Harrell's defense from {{Star Rating|3}} to {{Star Rating|4}}.
  
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On {{BetaSeason|7}}, Day 73, Harrell was exchanged to the Hawai'i Fridays due to [[Feedback]]. Harrell was replaced by [[Terrell Bradley]].
  
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On {{BetaSeason|8}}, Day 90, Harrell was exchanged to the Philly Pies due to [[Feedback]]. Harrell was replaced by the flickering [[Eduardo Woodman]]. Two innings later, Harrell and Woodman were exchanged again to their original teams.
  
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During the [[Coffee Cup]], Harrell played for the [[Cold Brew Crew]] as a lineup player.
  
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During the {{BetaSeason|12#Election Results|@ elections}}, all of Harrell's stats were increased as a result of the {{BetaSeason|12#Wills|'''Infuse'''}} will.
  
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During the {{BetaSeason|13#Election Results|@ elections}}, all of Harrell's stats were increased as a result of the {{BetaSeason|13#Wills|'''Infuse'''}} will.
  
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During the {{BetaSeason|14#Election Results|@ elections}}, Harrell was traded to the [[Baltimore Crabs]] in exchange for [[Baldwin Breadwinner]] as a result of the Crabs' {{BetaSeason|14#Wills|'''Exchange}} will.
  
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On {{BetaSeason|15}}, Day 104, Harrell was attacked by [[Consumers]], losing their last [[Soul]]. Harrell was then [[Investigation|'''Redacted''']] and removed from the Crabs' roster.
  
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On {{BetaSeason|17}}, Day 109, Harrell exited the [[Investigation#Secret Base|Secret Base]] at [[Tastycake Stadium]], losing {{ModLink|Redacted}} and gaining the {{ModLink|Attractor}} modification. Upon being batted in by [[Spears Taylor]], Harrell joined the [[Hawai'i Fridays]]' bench.
  
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During the {{BetaSeason|18#Election Results|@ elections}}, Harrell joined the [[Hawai'i Fridays]] active roster as a result of the {{BetaSeason|18#Wills|'''Foreshadow'''}} will.
  
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Harrell was traded to the [[Chicago Firefighters]] in exchange for [[Gabriel Griffith]] during the {{BetaSeason|19#Election Results|@ elections}} via the Fridays' {{BetaSeason|19#Wills|'''Equivalent Exchange'''}} will, becoming a pitcher in the process.
  
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During the {{BetaSeason|20#Election Results|@ election}}, Harrell was then traded to the [[Hawai'i Fridays]] in exchange for [[Gabriel Griffith]] via the Firefighters' {{BetaSeason|20#Wills|'''Equivalent Exchange'''}} will, becoming a lineup player in the process. Harrell's {{ModLink|Attractor}} modification was also changed to the {{ModLink|High Pressure}} modification by the Firefighters' {{BetaSeason|20#Wills|'''Reform'''}} will.
  
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During the {{BetaSeason|22#Election Results|@ elections}}, Harrell retreated to the Fridays' [[Shadows]] as a result of the Fridays' {{BetaSeason|22#Wills|'''Move'''}} will. Harrell's star ratings were then completely randomized as a result of the {{BetaSeason|22#Blessings|'''Shadow Alternate Trust'''}} blessing, resulting in Harrell gaining the {{ModLink|Negative}} modification and a combined {{Star Change|15.2|15.3}} stat increase.
  
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Over the course of {{BetaSeason|23}}, Harrell entered and exited the Fridays' Shadows three times as a result of Hawai'i Viberight Field ({{ModLink|Fax Machine}} events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.
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=== Name ===
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Harrell chooses to go by her surname in all contexts.
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{{Community Lore}}
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{{IRM|format=filebox}}<nowiki/>
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==Fan Works==
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<!-- Format is: Filename.jpg|Art by Username -->
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<gallery widths="185">
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AlyssaHarrellCard.jpg|Season 3 Tlopps card by thesillyoldbear.
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AlyssaHarrell.jpg|The only on-file photo of Alyssa Harrell.
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Harrell-Mozic.png|"She's real!" by Mozic.
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Alyssaharrellseason7.png|Season 7 card.
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File:Harrell does not exist.png|by {{Twitter|name=glassgoblin}}
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File:Cognitohazard.png|by {{Twitter|name=glassgoblin}}
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</gallery>
  
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<br />
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<references />
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{{AutomatedPlayerNav|80de2b05-e0d4-4d33-9297-9951b2b5c950|fridays}}
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{{FormerTeamCategorySelector|tigers|millennials|magic|pies|crabs|firefighters|fridays}}
  
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[[Category:Players]]
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[[Category:Cold Brew Crew]]
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[[Category:New York Millennials]]
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[[Category:Original Players]]
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[[Category:Batters]]
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[[Category:Players with the Nullified modification]]
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[[Category:Former Hades Tigers Players]]
 

Latest revision as of 12:47, 21 February 2023

Alyssa Harrell was a pitcher for the Hawai'i Fridays, and had been with the team since the Season β20 elections until Fall Ball. Harrell has played for the Hades Tigers, New York Millennials, Yellowstone Magic, Philly Pies, Baltimore Crabs, and Chicago Firefighters.

Official League Records

Harrell joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Hades Tigers with the Return of Blaseball. Harrell's stats were randomized by the Soul Swap blessing at the end of the season, resulting in a batting stat of .

Harrell was traded to the New York Millennials in exchange for Mclaughlin Scorpler during the Season β3 elections via the Exile blessing.

On Season β4, Day 15, Harrell was exchanged to the Yellowstone Magic due to Feedback. Harrell was replaced by Penelope Mathews. On Day 16 (the game immediately following the feedback swap), Harrell hit two singles to help the Magic come back from 0-4 to beat the Charleston Shoe Thieves, 17-5.

Harrell hitting a single on Season 4 Day 16, leading the Magic to victory on the game immediately after Harrell's feedback swap.

At the end of Season 4, Harrell was affected by the Alternate Reality decree which randomized Harrell's stats, including an increase in batting stats to .

At the end of Season 5, Harrell's pitching fell by as a result of the Charleston Shoe Thieves' Bad Neighbors blessing.

On Season β6, Day 40, Harrell siphoned some of Philly Pies batter Kennedy Cena's defense stats in a game with Blooddrain weather, bringing Harrell's defense from to .

On Season β7, Day 73, Harrell was exchanged to the Hawai'i Fridays due to Feedback. Harrell was replaced by Terrell Bradley.

On Season β8, Day 90, Harrell was exchanged to the Philly Pies due to Feedback. Harrell was replaced by the flickering Eduardo Woodman. Two innings later, Harrell and Woodman were exchanged again to their original teams.

During the Coffee Cup, Harrell played for the Cold Brew Crew as a lineup player.

During the Season β12 elections, all of Harrell's stats were increased as a result of the Infuse will.

During the Season β13 elections, all of Harrell's stats were increased as a result of the Infuse will.

During the Season β14 elections, Harrell was traded to the Baltimore Crabs in exchange for Baldwin Breadwinner as a result of the Crabs' Exchange will.

On Season β15, Day 104, Harrell was attacked by Consumers, losing their last Soul. Harrell was then Redacted and removed from the Crabs' roster.

On Season β17, Day 109, Harrell exited the Secret Base at Tastycake Stadium, losing Redacted and gaining the Attractor modification. Upon being batted in by Spears Taylor, Harrell joined the Hawai'i Fridays' bench.

During the Season β18 elections, Harrell joined the Hawai'i Fridays active roster as a result of the Foreshadow will.

Harrell was traded to the Chicago Firefighters in exchange for Gabriel Griffith during the Season β19 elections via the Fridays' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.

During the Season β20 election, Harrell was then traded to the Hawai'i Fridays in exchange for Gabriel Griffith via the Firefighters' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process. Harrell's Attractor modification was also changed to the High Pressure modification by the Firefighters' Reform will.

During the Season β22 elections, Harrell retreated to the Fridays' Shadows as a result of the Fridays' Move will. Harrell's star ratings were then completely randomized as a result of the Shadow Alternate Trust blessing, resulting in Harrell gaining the Negative modification and a combined 15.2 → 15.3 stat increase.

Over the course of Season β23, Harrell entered and exited the Fridays' Shadows three times as a result of Hawai'i Viberight Field (Fax Machine events, ending the Season on the pitching rotation.

Name

Harrell chooses to go by her surname in all contexts.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Alyssa Harrell Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-98.361 and start reading...

Hypothetically, "Harrell" might exist, and if she did, she would be completely justified in any hypothetical crimes she might choose to commit. Hypothetically, on the day she was hypothetically swapped with the Hawai'i Fridays' former player Dadly Bradley from whatever hypothetical team she came from before, she might have hypothetically absorbed his Dad Vibes and become the de facto second lefty hitter (after, of course, Our Lady of Perpetual Friday). This is possibly the first record of "Harrell's" non-existence, though it is hard to be sure since the record does not actually exist.

No one has ever seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, heard from, heard of, located, tracked, watched, spied on, sensed, felt, looked at, listened to, talked to, conversed with, or were able to discern anything about "Alyssa Harrell." Anything you might have heard about "Alyssa Harrell" is complete hearsay. It is impossible to describe "Alyssa Harrell" because she does not exist.

Notably, she has not paid taxes since 2009. This is notable because it is impossible for this information to be recorded, because she does not exist.

Harrell has not

A list of things that Harrell has not done includes, but is not limited to, the following:

  • Tax evasion
  • Election Fraud
  • Hunting invasive species in Hawai’i
  • “Time theft”
  • Jailbreaking an iphone
  • Base theft
  • Dumping Old Bay into the Chesapeake Bay
  • Prank-calling Beck Whitney and asking for "I P Freely"
  • Using Terrell Bradley's email address to sign up for assorted newsletters
  • Illegal gambling on croquet matches
  • Skateboarding in restricted areas
  • Waffle theft

Fan Works

  • Season 3 Tlopps card by thesillyoldbear.

  • The only on-file photo of Alyssa Harrell.

  • "She's real!" by Mozic.

  • Season 7 card.

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