Dark Seattle Corporates/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Dark_Seattle_Corporates has 10 Rumors written about so far.
Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-9.01
NAME: BOSTON, LORI
POSITION: N/A
DATE ONBOARDED: N/A
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION: LORI BOSTON does not exist in the employee database, nor in any Dark Seattle city records. Please search for a real person's name next time.Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-9.02
REBEL DOSSIER
NAME: DOTTIE
HOME BASE: UNKNOWN
ORGANIZATION: UNKNOWN
STATUS: UNKNOWN
THREAT LEVEL: UNKNOWN
DESCRIPTION: DOTTIE is either a LARGE, CARTOON-ESQUE FURRY CREATURE or a PERSON IN A LARGE, CARTOON-ESQUE FURRY CREATURE COSTUME. The creature may be some sort of oversized version of a SMALL MAMMAL; top investigators suspect that it may be some kind of WEIRD FERRET or WEASEL. The creature is NAVY BLUE, with RED and BLUE POLKADOTS on its back and a VERY CUTE SNOUT. Its colors match common colors seen among rebels.
DETAILS: DOTTIE has been seen DJING in several rebel clubs, including ██████, ████████████, and THE UNNAMED NIGHTCLUB FORMERLY KNOWN AS VLUE LUXURY LOUNGE. DOTTIE has been spotted by Corporation Authorities several times, but always manages to DISAPPEAR prior to being apprehended. DOTTIES MUSIC has been described as BRIGHT, ECLECTIC, and NOT AS GOOD AS HOMERUN ERIC'S CHART-TOPPING SEVENTEENTH STUDIO ALBUM "YOU STUPID IDIOTS ARE GOING TO BUY MY SEVENTEENTH STUDIO ALBUM AND CALL IT GOOD AND I'M GOING TO BUY ANOTHER YACHT ON YOUR DIME"
IF DOTTIE IS SPOTTED PLEASE CONTACT DEPARTMENT HEADS AT ONCE.Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-9.03
REBEL DOSSIER
NAME: SEAGULL, FARRELL
HOME BASE: WAPAKONETA AIR, SPACE, AND WORM MUSEUM AND BALLPARK
ORGANIZATION: OHIO WORMS (FORMERLY SHADOW SEATTLE GARAGES, NEGADELPHIA PIES, MIAMI DALE)
STATUS: SHADOWED
THREAT LEVEL: MEDIUM
DESCRIPTION: Identical to CORPORATES player FARRELL SEAGULL, but with opposite color hair.
DETAILS: SEAGULL is theorized to be the SHADOW SEATTLE counterpart to CORPORATES player FARRELL SEAGULL. Sometime between SEASON 4 and SEASON 8, this SHADOW SEAGULL is assumed to have discovered one of the primary PORTALS between DARK SEATTLE and SHADOW SEATTLE, and has been sighted ever since committing various acts of TROUBLEMAKING in the city.
SEAGULL is known to commit “ART CRIMES” by distributing zines, spray-painting rude words on CORPORATION property, and dumping PAINT from the roofs of tall buildings onto HOMERUN ERIC’s head. To date, she has evaded capture.
ANY EMPLOYEE WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THE WANTED PERSONS ABOVE SHOULD CONTACT EXT. *8185 IMMEDIATELY.Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-97.001
NAME: HOTDOGFINGERS, JAYLEN
POSITION: PITCHER
DATE ONBOARDED: SEASON 0 DAY 97 (████████)
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:
HOTDOGFINGERS is a regular contributor to the ADVERTISING department and has appeared in a variety of COMMERCIALS for Corporation products including Arrow Cola, Arrow Cola Lite, Arrow Cola Cherry, Arrow Cola Zero, Arrow Cola Invisible, and Townsend Confectionery materials. Some time after the ████████, HOTDOGFINGERS had her hands replaced with two prosthetic metal hands (fully Synergy-compatible) as a result of ██████████████████████████████.
HOTDOGFINGERS’s prosthetic hands have been outfitted with a number of different weaponry modules including ████████████████ ████████████████████████████████ ████████████████ .Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-97.002
NAME: ABBOTT, ALLISON
POSITION: BATTER
DATE ONBOARDED: SEASON 0 DAY 97 (████████)
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:
ABBOTT is a flagship member of the Corporation’s streaming content team as well as a high-level expert on RETRIEVAL and COMBAT techniques. ABBOTT’s battle loadout is often chosen by stream viewers.
ABBOTT’s signature NAIL BAT GUN has been modified by the RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT department to function in various hostile environments including DEEP SPACE, HIGH ALTITUDES, and PHILADELPHIA.Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-97.003
NAME: TOWNSEND, MIKE
POSITION: N/A
DATE ONBOARDED: SEASON 0 DAY 97 (████████)
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:
TOWNSEND is a M-level manager in the ████████ department and has been assigned supervisory duties over the DARK SEATTLE CORPORATES team. His roles include ████████, ████████, accounting, ████████, performance reviews, and ████████. His roles do not include pitching.
Note: Record information about the ████████ cloning experiment has evidently been lost. ████████████████ has been assigned to recover damaged data, but in the interim, it is unclear in this database which iteration of TOWNSEND is the original and which are clones. FIX THIS LATER.Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-97.004
NAME: TOWNSEND, MIKE
POSITION: BATTER
DATE ONBOARDED: SEASON 0 DAY 97 (████████)
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:
TOWNSEND is the main promotional lead for Townsend Confectionery, a line of baking products sold in a variety of Corporation establishments. His main roles are in product development and in advertising, and he is rarely seen outside of STUDIO 14-E’s test kitchen.
Note: Record information about the ████████ cloning experiment has evidently been lost. ████████████████ has been assigned to recover damaged data, but in the interim, it is unclear in this database which iteration of TOWNSEND is the original and which are clones. FIX THIS LATER.Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-97.005
NAME: TOWNSEND, MIKE
POSITION: N/A
DATE ONBOARDED: SEASON 0 DAY 97 (████████)
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:
TOWNSEND is the result of a mismanaged CLONING EXPERIMENT in Season █ that resulted in ████████████████ ████████ ████████████████. TOWNSEND is an entity with multiple extra limbs, notably an alarming number of thumbs. Upon accidental creation TOWNSEND fled to the City’s sewer system, where he is typically found. Despite first impressions, TOWNSEND is fairly non-confrontational and has been particularly helpful in mapping out the expansive tunnels below the city of Dark Seattle.
Note: Record information about the ████████ cloning experiment has evidently been lost. ████████████████ has been assigned to recover damaged data, but in the interim, it is unclear in this database which iteration of TOWNSEND is the original and which are clones. FIX THIS LATER.Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-97.006
NAME: TOWNSEND, MIKE
POSITION: PITCHER
DATE ONBOARDED: SEASON 0 DAY 97 (████████)
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:
TOWNSEND is a member of the RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT department focused on mechanical augmentations and robotics technology. The ████████ Mecha, an ongoing project by TOWNSEND started in Season ██, has yet to be completed, possibly because its operation requires all four iterations of TOWNSEND to be in the same room without fighting with each other.
Note: Record information about the ████████ cloning experiment has evidently been lost. ████████████████ has been assigned to recover damaged data, but in the interim, it is unclear in this database which iteration of TOWNSEND is the original and which are clones. FIX THIS LATER.Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-97.436
NAME: SEAGULL, FARRELL
POSITION: BATTER
DATE ONBOARDED: SEASON 4 DAY 36
KNOWN ALIASES: “The E-Gull”
BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:
SEAGULL is the first member of the CORPORATES to have been RECRUITED by FEEDBACK, though the incident happened before the mechanical functioning of SYNERGY BLOOD was perfected, leading to TEAM SHRINKAGE with a player loss to the MIAMI ARMADA.
SEAGULL was the third member of the CORPORATES’ streaming content team and runs a channel dedicated to broadcasting her work on her MARKETING ARTWORK PROJECTS, typically painted on the sides of skyscrapers.
In the SEASON 19 EARLSIESTA, unusual interdimensional readings were picked up around SEAGULL connecting to SHADOW SEATTLE and her SHADOW COUNTERPART. Further research is needed as to their significance.
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