Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-97.005

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Dark Seattle Corporates at their Rumor Registry.

NAME: TOWNSEND, MIKE

POSITION: N/A

DATE ONBOARDED:  SEASON 0 DAY 97 (████████)

BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:

TOWNSEND is the result of a mismanaged CLONING EXPERIMENT in Season █ that resulted in ████████████████ ████████ ████████████████. TOWNSEND is an entity with multiple extra limbs, notably an alarming number of thumbs. Upon accidental creation TOWNSEND fled to the City’s sewer system, where he is typically found. Despite first impressions, TOWNSEND is fairly non-confrontational and has been particularly helpful in mapping out the expansive tunnels below the city of Dark Seattle.

Note: Record information about the ████████ cloning experiment has evidently been lost. ████████████████ has been assigned to recover damaged data, but in the interim, it is unclear in this database which iteration of TOWNSEND is the original and which are clones. FIX THIS LATER.