Dark Seattle Corporates/IF-97.003

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Dark Seattle Corporates at their Rumor Registry.

NAME: TOWNSEND, MIKE

POSITION: N/A

DATE ONBOARDED:  SEASON 0 DAY 97 (████████)

BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION:

TOWNSEND is a M-level manager in the ████████ department and has been assigned supervisory duties over the DARK SEATTLE CORPORATES team. His roles include ████████, ████████, accounting, ████████, performance reviews, and ████████. His roles do not include pitching.

Note: Record information about the ████████ cloning experiment has evidently been lost. ████████████████ has been assigned to recover damaged data, but in the interim, it is unclear in this database which iteration of TOWNSEND is the original and which are clones. FIX THIS LATER.