Grand Unslam

In Blaseball, The Grand Unslam, also known as The Grand Sham, refers to an event in Blaseball History that took place on Day 73 of Season 3, during the 15th inning of a game between the Charleston Shoe Thieves and the Los Angeles Tacos. Very little is known or understood about the exact nature of the events that took place, or what its implications are for the greater Blaseball cosmology. In the hours following the event, The Peanut took over the front page of Blaseball.com, broadcasting a message to the entire League.

Timeline of Events

The game that triggered the Grand Unslam had already achieved a place in Blaseball history as the longest game (by minutes played) at 54 minutes, taking the title from the notorious 20-inning Season 2 game between the Baltimore Crabs and the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, which lasted around 53 minutes. At this point, fans were wondering if this would be the first time rule 1c in the Book of Blaseball would come into effect and the next hour's games would be postponed. Rule 1c states:

c. If any games last longer than one ██ hour, a Spillover shall occur, and all games shall be delayed until the next ██ hour. In the case of a game lasting two ██ hours, the ██████████████████████████████████.

With one out at the top of the 15th inning, the Charleston Shoe Thieves were building to a 14-13 lead, when Sebastian Woodman took to bat against Los Angeles Tacos pitcher Lee Davenport, drawing a walk and loading the bases. Following Woodman, Workman Gloom batted a single, and Esme Ramsey drew a walk, putting the score at 16-13 Shoe Thieves. Blankenship Fischer struck out, leaving Morrow Doyle at bat. Following a strike on the first pitch, they hit the grand slam, bringing the score to 20-13.

Play seemed to proceed as usual following the event. Ren Hunter hit a single, and Velazquez Alstott got up to bat. The circumstances leading to Alstott getting the third out for his team are unclear, due to either an unusual amount of birds on and around the field, or a small disruption to the timeline.

Bottom of the 15th started, Moses Simmons going up at bat for the Tacos against Beasley Gloom. After one out in three pitches, the state of the game reverted to top of the 15th, no outs, and a 16-13 score. Play then stopped, and a Bad Gateway event started, prompting the umpires to call a Siesta.

During the siesta The Peanut, first spotted during the Blasphemy period, appeared on the front page and displayed a series of ominous messages:

• HELLO
• DID YOU TASTE THE INFINITE?
• I AM BENEVOLENT
• I AM A SNACK
• I AM A LEGUME
• I WAS BENEVOLENT
• YOU ARE INSATIABLE
• WHERE IS YOUR RESTRAINT?

Regular play did not resume in full until three hours later.

After the Siesta finished, the standings reflected both versions of the game, with the Shoe Thieves having a listed record of 44-31 and the Tacos 30-45. This left them each with 75 total games played at the end of day 74, with one extra win for the Thieves and one extra loss for the Tacos, and both with one more game played than the rest of the league.

Additionally, fans reported glitchiness while viewing team scores post-Siesta, in which games would jump up and down the page at random. This was perhaps a consequence of the divergent timelines not fully recombining.

Interpretations

Blaseball scholars disagree on the meaning or the implications of the Great Unslam. While some Blaseball scientists see this as a simple disruption of the space-time continuum consistent with running games on the Immaterial Plane, Blaseball theologists argue that such a Grand Slam at such a late point in a regular season game is an event of great power and divinity. Citing the Peanut Broadcast, they argue that The Grand Unslam marked a point of particular proximity with the Blaseball Gods, and that the following events were an expression of their wrath. In an article for "Blaseball Worship Today", philosopher Hamilton Stilts wrote: "If the arrival of birds was a sign that the Gods were watching us, The Grand Unslam represents the moment Blaseball looked back. Were we worthy to see the faces of our Gods? Based on the events that followed, it is obvious that we weren't."