Evelton McBlase II/IF-84.022

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Evelton McBlase II at their Rumor Registry.

Origins

On the day of the season 6 election Evelton McBlase, who was taking a stroll along the beach at the time, was observed to suddenly widen to his left. When his head was of an appropriate size to look like two blaseball blases glued together rather than the usual one, a pair of eyes were seen to suddenly open. Then, there was an instant in which everyone in the world blinked at the same time, and when everyone's eyes were open again, there was an (almost) identical McBlase, however without a blaseball cap, standing to Evelton's left. Unfortunately, before the new McBlase could be given the usual Fridays welcome of having a cold one to crack open with the boys, girls, good girls, birds, trees, and otherwise disposed, an unknown member of the Houston Spies was lowered in, grabbed the new McBlase, and was airlifted away. While he was eventually returned to the Fridays in later seasons it is unclear, as many things are with the Spies, what exactly occurred while he was away.

Nonetheless Evelton's return was met with the same chill vibes that we have all come to expect from the Friday's legendary hospitality.

Trade to the Baltimore Crabs

Evelton has claimed that the season 10 People's Champions trade for themselves, Baldwin Breadwinner, and Bevan Underbuck was part of an scheme to "steal ascension" from the Baltimore Crabs. While no other reports from the Hawaii Fridays have backed this up as an intentional plan, it is clear that the trade did take place from the presence of Nagomi McDaniel, Sutton Dreamy, and Montgomery Bullock (and Bontgomery Mullock) in the ILB even as the Crabs were called up.

From the Telescope

While it is unclear exactly what is happening in the Big Leagues, Baltimorean telescope watchers have reported catching glimpses of Evelton and the Crab's resident criminal, Forrest Best, accused of participating in "The Great Eel-scape", "The Thunder Catfish Caper", "My Ultimate Vengeance", Handling Salmon in suspicious circumstances, and Embezzlement. It appears that with this new addition Evelton's success rate at committing crimes has gone up significantly, and Best has remained in top form even when participating in the Big Leagues.

When asked how this effects their focus on the game, team captain Kennedy Loser commented that "It's good to let them burn off their excess energy sometimes, and Forrest keeps them out of too much trouble. Plus Evelton made me this ray gun that is supposed to improve my vibes which was sweet of them".