Difference between revisions of "Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams"

Revision as of 22:42, 31 July 2020

The Hellmouth Sunbeams are a professional Blaseball team based in Hellmouth, Utah. The Sunbeams compete in Blaseball as part of the Lawful Evil division of the Evil League. They have been a part of the Blaseball League since Season 1, and also before.

The Sunbeams do not believe in the existence of the Seattle Garages.

Team History

Move to Hellmouth

Previous to the opening of The Forbidden Book, the Sunbeams were located in the Moab desert. However, once THE FORBIDDEN BOOK was opened; the desert, stadium, and team were all swallowed by the Hellmouth.

Of the move, star rookie Alaynabella Hollywood said: "Well, honestly it really isn't any hotter than the ol' Moab was. I mean, sure, a lot more things are on fire, but that's a nice bonus."

Rivalries

The Sunbeams do not currently officially recognize any non-rivals other than the Hades Tigers.

Roster

Batters

Pitchers

Incinerated

N/A

Personnel

Sol, Head coach
Addie Tantalus, assistant coach
[No known first name] Nakamura, assistant coach
Determination Montgomery, batting coach
Beef Randolph, nutritionist
JEFF, "mascot"

Stadium

The Beams' stadium holds the record for the blaseball pitch with the most vertical distance between bases. This is due to both the stadium's 20° incline and its unique structural design as a result of the opening of the Hellmouth.

The stadium is separated into several sections separated by a Hellmouth sinkhole. In order of distance from the center of the Hellmouth these sections are:

Sub-Ocean
The Undercroft
Third Base and Minor Outlying Bases
The Dugouts
Infield
Stadium Seating and Refreshments
Outfield
Fourth Base
The Announcer's Booth
The Accounting Department

Traditions

Every time the Beams score a run, a child is allowed to hurl a pane of glass off the highest part of the stadium wall. This has led to numerous incidents of children trying to use psychic powers to manifest runs, which has been a great boost to the team's morale.

At the end of a winning home game, it is customary for the Sunbeams to dump the team's water cooler on the pitcher. The Hellmouth being what it is, this has resulted in 15 hospitalizations for steam burns this season.

Chants

We are okay!
Ȟ̷̦E̵̤̿R̴͔̀È̶͔ ̶̽ͅC̵̻͆Ó̷̖M̷̲͋Ě̶̺S̴̞̎ ̴͕͋Ț̴͛H̸̥̒E̴̡̓ ̵͎͛S̷̥̈́U̸͎͗N̴͈͊
(:
Beam me up, Scotty!
Nerd Pa-Che-Co
HOLLY-WEED! [clap-clap, clap-clap-clap]

Season Results

In Season 1, the Sunbeams went 40-59, coming in at 4th place in the Lawful Evil division.

In Season 2, the Sunbeams went 37-62 in the season, choosing not to advance to the postseason out of a spirit of splotsmanship and magnanimityy.

Revision as of 22:41, 31 July 2020 (view source) Elgeonmb (talk \| contribs) (→‎Season Results) Tag: 2017 source edit ← Older edit		Revision as of 22:42, 31 July 2020 (view source) Elgeonmb (talk \| contribs) (→‎Season Results) Tag: Visual edit Newer edit →
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	In Season 1, the Sunbeams went 40-59, coming in at 4th place in the Lawful Evil division.		In Season 1, the Sunbeams went 40-59, coming in at 4th place in the Lawful Evil division.

−	In Season 2, the Sunbeams went 37-62 in the season, choosing not to advance to the postseason.<gallery>	+	In Season 2, the Sunbeams went 37-62 in the season, choosing not to advance to the postseason out of a spirit of splotsmanship and magnanimityy. <gallery>