Parker Parra/IF-121.90

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Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Parker Parra at their Rumor Registry.


Parra claims to be a three-dimensional projection of a higher-dimensional entity. Despite their apparent potential to be a star batter, their performance compared to the rest of the league has led to speculation that the entity cares little for Blaseball.

They have only been observed once out of their Blaseball uniform by a fan seeking an autograph--an event informally known as "The Casualwear Tragedy." The unfortunate fan was made dimensionally unstable, flitting between multiple versions of themselves including versions that mutter strange prophesies from other universes and at least one version that is a 20 foot tall two-dimensional monster intent on eating the other fans. In response to this incident, Parra was quoted as saying, "It was a shame it had to happen, but it did have to happen." As compensation, the fan was given season tickets behind the Crabs' dugout at the Crabitat. Sitting in a special dimensionally-sealed section for his, and others' protection, Wanderin' Dave is now a fixture at Crabs home games.

Parra is fascinated with crafts and art, especially origami, and as a result holds a deep admiration for them. They have mostly made origami crabs, but have branched out into making other animals as well. Among the confirmed animals crafted by them are a swan to "appease the overwhelming number of birds", and a tiger made in memory of Landry Violence.

Interest in Mathematics

Parker is a frequent and well respected guest at the annual conference of Dimensional Mathematics, alongside teammates Sutton Dreamy and Brock Forbes. While they often simply attend as a guest, there have been several panels that have been hijacked by what academics have called "innovative and driven Q&A" with Parker. After several recurrences of this issue, Parker was granted the opportunity to speak at their own session that they entitled "how to fold a paper crane." This was one of the most widely attended sessions that year, though not a single attendee has been able to comment on what was taught other than Sutton, who said it was "nice, but [she] wish[es] Parker had done a little crab instead."


After winning three championships with the Baltimore Crabs, Parker Parra ascended to the big leagues alongside the rest of the team. Coming back with a flinch however, their already middling batting meant they could rarely get on base. When the opportunity arose they were traded to the Boston Flowers for the Crab’s old star hitter, Nagomi Mcdaniel.

On the Boston Flowers

Parker Parra spent a single season pitching for the Boston Flowers before being traded back to the Crabs for their star pitcher Brock Forbes.

Return to the Crabs - Lessons Learned

After their season away in Boston Parra returned to the Crabs in good spirits, and despite their abysmal pitching, enjoyed reuniting with their team in Baltimore.

When Parker Parra began their pitching career on the Flowers it was an impressive exercise in just how poorly one player could pitch, managing a perfect 0-20 season before being sent back to the Crabs where they did manage to win a trickle of games. None of this really bothered Parra however, as they discovered that pitching was just a whole lot of fun, spending a majority of their time on the mound declaring a “trick shot” and then tossing the ball in the general direction of the plate. Parker Meng in particular was often at the heart of these many trick shots as Parra was delighted about their shared names and opposing skill sets. Parra was on record for trying to pitch at least one game completely blindfolded, just to see if they could.

With the introduction of the Fax machine Parra’s trip to the Crab’s shadows was inevitable, and soon enough they were cheering the team on, meeting new people, and leading practices. While some of the newer pitchers were more skeptical about Parra leading a pitching practice, Finn James in particular loved the sessions, credits Parra with helping her get over the stress filled moments of letting a runner on base, and how to keep cool and just having fun under pressure. Meanwhile players like Axel Campbell described Parra’s pitching advice to be “probably made up” and “distressingly close to how Finn tries to teach people to pitch”.

In Literature

Parker Parra is subject of a poem by Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper called "Wanderin' Dave":

Queen Circe was a mighty witch
And sirens wrecked many a ship,
But none of these are dangerous,
Like Parker Parra when they strip.

I speak, of course, of Wanderin' Dave:
An accidental tragic day,
He spotted Parker, dressed in jeans,
Reality then went astray.

So Dave was given honored seats
And kept from eating fans abreast,
He prophesizes every game
And watches Parra—always dressed.