Fitzgerald Blackburn/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Fitzgerald Blackburn has 2 Rumors written about so far.
Fitzgerald Blackburn/IF-2.7182
Origins
The cloud of smoke left by Miki Santana's incineration refused to disperse, even after several minutes. Despite no apparent replacement for Santana, the umpires demanded that play continue. After the end of the inning, an industrial fan was used in an attempt to drive the smoke off the field; it continued to hold form, and rolled into the dugout. Later in the game, a Spies uniform filled with black smoke strode onto the field and hit a flyout.
Afterwards, the smoke was detained and questioned. By Spies tradition, the smoke-spirit was assigned a codename by rolling dice and consulting a lookup table: Fitzgerald Blackburn.
When asked why they retained form, they said: "I don't want to just disappear into the wind. I don't want to be forgotten. I want to be here. To experience the world."
Agency Work
Upon induction to the Spies, Blackburn was assigned espionage work, and proved naturally talented at both infiltration and emotional intelligence.
Blackburn's amorphous form makes it extremely good at sneaking into places; they can fit themselves into extremely small spaces for extended periods of time. For example, Blackburn reportedly once infiltrated an office by hiding inside a printer toner cartridge. They are also a master at air-vent escapes.
An exquisitely acute empathetic sense also makes Blackburn excellent at determining when someone is lying, though this also means that Blackburn has had to learn mental discipline so as not to burst into tears at the slightest provocation.
Blackburn is no longer allowed to blind people by blowing smoke into their eyes.
Blaseball Career
Debuting as an acceptably good batter, Blackburn slowly improved over the seasons, through peanuts, blessings, and updated gear designs. While not the leader or captain of the team (because Spies do not do leaders), Blackburn is a central backbone of their organization. Even through the disastrous Season 9 reverb, Blackburn remained a constant, doing their best to get everyone accustomed to their new roles.
Blackburn is now an exceptionally good batter who remained in that position for almost their entire career. Until Season 13, their equally exceptional pitching ability was kept highly classified, though Blackburn's unerring aim and strong arm when throwing balls back to the infield have long fed the speculation of the highly-observant.
Scattering and Trades
After reports from Blackburn and observations of Hotbox Sato about their experiences as smokespeople after being flooded off base, it was hypothesized that should Blackburn be swept away for an extended period of time, Scattering could be life-threatening.
After Theodore Holloway's death in season 13, Blackburn was inconsolable. Several days later, when Flooding crested again, Blackburn was swept away to Elsewhere. They remained missing for the rest of the season. It was speculated, and later confirmed, that they allowed themself to be pulled away by hopelessness and despair.
Between seasons, it was determined that the best way to deal with both Blackburn's physical and mental state was to provide them with an extended period of rest. A careful misfiling of paperwork sent Blackburn to the San Francisco Lovers as a pitcher. They quickly proved their brilliance on the field as a pitcher; batters report that Fitz's diffuse outline makes it exceptionally difficult to tell what kind of pitch they're throwing.
The next season, due to what may or may not have been intentional interference by Becker Solis, Fitzgerald Blackburn was sent to the Spies' Shadows. It remained there for a full season.
Return
Through much of the Expansion Era, Blackburn played consistently and well as younger Spies caught up with its skill and fame. However, at the same time, Blackburn’s anxiety became worse. In particular, holding a Golden Necklace (and thus being a Super Idol) between seasons 17 and 19 caused Blackburn regular panic attacks about being on the Idol Board. Despite never gaining a single level of Ego, let alone Legendary status, the mere act of being perceived caused Blackburn considerable distress.
“Agency supercomputers have run the numbers: idoling Fitz is only optimal if your current snack portfolio is hotdogs only, 650% multiplier, final destination. That isn’t even an optimal snack spread anyway,” Alexandria Rosales said on Blackburn's behalf, in a rare direct statement to the press. “If you really care about your optimization please just go for seeds.”
During the election after season 19, Jasper Blather took the Golden Necklace from Blackburn before Roaming away. When Blather was asked for comment, they stated, “I was supposed to give them my Crocs, but they’ve got more than enough drip already.” Blackburn’s response to press questions about the incident was to climb into an air vent.
Blackburn was attacked by Consumers during the season 20 postseason, but responded to all press questions with some variant of “Math [Velazquez] has it worse.” When Velazquez was shadowed due to injuries in that election, Blackburn refused to appear in public for weeks afterwards. Once Voicemail was Ratified in Season 21, though, Blackburn was overjoyed, and when Velazquez was present, the two were inseparable.
Commissioner Vapor joined the team after the season 20 elections. Blackburn immediately gravitated towards them, as Vapor was a fellow amorphous individual made out of incineration remains. Blackburn even briefly tried wearing a sealed suit like Vapor's, though Blackburn found the suit too restrictive to be useful.
Blackburn partied twice during Season 22, as part of the Spies breaking their general party drought, and this partially repaired the damage done by two Consumer attacks. However, their parties did not resemble typical ILB Party Time, which had been forbidden by the Agency. For one of these “parties” they were photographed merely leaning against a pillar, an enigmatic smile on their face.
Relations
Math Velazquez, being mathematics across all space and time, steadies Blackburn's perpetual anxiety about being forgotten. Velazquez's motivation for becoming a Blaseball player is also the same as Blackburn's, so their respective existential takes on life match. Son Scotch once told the press that "[Blackburn]'s totally in love and should really admit it to themself."
They may or may not have a queerplatonic relationship with Alexandria Rosales, being mutually supportive of each other's anxieties and traumas.
Blackburn's response to learning about Hotbox Sato's existence was curiosity about another individual made of smoke. A meeting was arranged. Blackburn entered the room where Sato was in diffuse form; a few minutes later Blackburn ran out, slammed the door behind them, and refused to describe what happened. Sato commented afterwards that Blackburn "needs to loosen up".
Speculation about Blackburn's position in the Lovers' polycule abounds, most of it centering around Knight Triumphant. For their part, Blackburn has remained completely silent when questioned.Fitzgerald Blackburn/IF-66.933
Physical Appearance
Blackburn's physical form is said to be highly reminiscent of the silhouette left behind by someone caught in a nuclear blast. Constantly emanating from their body is a thin veil of black smoke. The effects of breathing in this smoke are not known, but as of yet no long-term effects have been reported. When referring to Fitzgerald it's preferred to cycle through the pronouns used to reflect the numerous entities composing dem. However, for clarity's sake, she also approves of using they/them.
They do have a voice of their own, despite the fact that shadows aren't known for possessing voice boxes. Inquiries into Blackburn's speaking abilities have been inconclusive. One Hades correspondent in search of answers to this mystery communed with the spirit of a 1956 radio announcer and has not been heard from since. However, written in their notebook—which was oddly yellow and marked with scorched black circles in the shape of fingerprints—was a note: "Blackburn is not opposed to gambling when the urge strikes, and they are very, very good at it—especially because they cheat." Whether this was meant as an explanation of Blackburn's ability to speak or simply an observation about their skills is unknown, but their gambling abilities are easily observed.
Activity
Intel confirms that Blackburn is a shadow person. In accordance with the lore surrounding such creatures, Blaseball fans have observed her manifesting near their beds during episodes of sleep paralysis, often to offer them Spies season tickets. How Blackburn chooses individuals to bless with Spies fanblase recruitment is currently unknown. Some suggest Blackburn bases their decisions on intel acquired during their daily wanderings. At any given moment, there is an estimated 5% probability that the shadow of a given Blaseball player or fan is an aspect of Blackburn collecting information.
Blackburn performs rather oddly in eclipse weather, likely because the blocking of the light interferes with the shadows out of which eir corporeal form is made. Because of this, it seems that she hates playing on sunny days close to high noon or against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, simply because holding onto physical reality becomes such a pain.
Blackburn has one documented hobby—the delivery of death omens. It is this which brought him to the Houston Spies after the tragic death of Miki Santana.
Origin
Miki Santana, batter for the Houston Spies, was incinerated on Day 76 of Season Three. Exactly thirty seconds later, various non-Blaseball related media outlets around Hellmouth and Hades reported steady streams of black ichor flowing outwards from the each city's Blaseball stadium. This ichor trickled out of each city and roughly in the direction of Houston. The streams quickly converged at the site where Santana fell, congealing around their burnt skeleton in shadowy knots until assuming the humanoid form that fans now refer to as Fitzgerald Blackburn. It is unclear exactly why this phenomenon occurred; however, it has become an increasingly common sight for Spies fans to see figures reminiscent of Blackburn standing atop various structures, staring and shaking their heads in the direction of both Hellmouth and Hades.
Rumors swirl around Fitzgerald Blackburn like the inky blackness of their tendrils: constantly, mysteriously, and to uncertain purpose. Some say Blackburn is a refugee from Hades or Hellmouth or both; others assert with false confidence that Blackburn was a mortal so skilled at heists that they bet Hades they could escape the realm of Death itself, bringing hundreds of souls with them. (Hades denies this, but then, they would.)
The only certain facts in the case of Fitzgerald Blackburn are this: they appeared after Miki Santana's incineration; they don't appear on film; and in certain slants of light, their silhouette resembles a famous 19th century painting of a divinity known for katabasis.
Katabasis, of course, is another word for stealing blases, a skill which Fitzgerald Blackburn possesses in spades.
Replacing Miki Santana
The various shadowy entities that form Fitzgerald have gone on record to say that while they may be replacing Miki on the team, they have no intention of taking their place within the hearts of fans. Xe has also stated that Santana was "still with us" and that "they should be proud that their hard work has paid off."
We pray to the gods of Blaseball that this is a good sign.
Knowing Blackburn, it is not.
Blaseball Career
With each passing Blaseball season Blackburn has only gotten better as a player—to a concerning degree, according to opponents, given their nature as a mysterious shadow entity. When asked, they gave various reasons, including eating a yummy peanut and enjoying a nice party, as well as participating in the practices that led to improvements amongst all Spies players. Most recently, though, Blackburn was seen using his officially issued curly straw to drink the blood of Pitching Machine in the ninth inning of season eight's 86th game. While some observers expressed worry over what ends these improvements might be for, when asked Spies players expressed only happiness that Blackburn had improved so much, especially since she was clearly excited about the improvements as well.
Upon returning to the Spies after a long stint Elsewhere and a trade from and to the Lovers at the end of seasons 13 and 14, Blackburn was observed to be considerably more amorphous in form, stating to interviewers that they “didn’t need those bones anymore.” Off-the-record sources suggest that Blackburn has finally let go of the skeleton of Miki Santana.
When Blackburn was swept Elsewhere in season 21, Yeong-Ho Garcia used their connections to Bluesky to flip Blackburn into a Negative; a few anecdotes claim that, should you defocus your eyes and let go of your preconceptions while staring at Blackburn, she may now appear as a white photonegative silhouette instead.
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