Difference between revisions of "Thomas Kirby"

From Blaseball Wiki

m (Text replacement - "'''\{\{ModLink\|(.*)\}\}'''" to "{{ModLink|$1}}")
m (resurrected players category)
 
(13 intermediate revisions by 7 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{AutomatedPlayer
+
{{NewAutomatedPlayer
|image1=KIRBY.png
+
|image1=Artbreeder_thomas_kirby_edit.jpg
|caption1 = Kirby, as he looked as he entered into Chicago for the first time. The Steak energy radiating in his heart and the fire of Chicago glowing in his eye.
+
|caption1 = Artbreeder  image by LaserMessiah
 
|alias=
 
|alias=
|former=[[Dallas Steaks]], [[Chicago Firefighters]]
+
|former=[[Dallas Steaks]], [[Chicago Firefighters]], [[Hades Tigers]]
 +
|modifications=[[Nullified]]
 
|dates=Jul 30–Oct 11, 2020;<br/>May 18, 2021–present
 
|dates=Jul 30–Oct 11, 2020;<br/>May 18, 2021–present
|evolution=Base
 
 
|uuid  =f73009c5-2ede-4dc4-b96d-84ba93c8a429
 
|uuid  =f73009c5-2ede-4dc4-b96d-84ba93c8a429
 
}}
 
}}
'''{{PAGENAME}}''' is a lineup player in the [[Shadows]] for the [[Hades Tigers]], and has been with the team since [[Season 19]], Day 22. Kirby has played for the [[Dallas Steaks]] and [[Chicago Firefighters]].
+
'''{{PAGENAME}}''' was a lineup player in the [[Shadows]] for the [[Hades Tigers]], and was with the team from {{BetaSeason|19}}, Day 22 until [[Fall Ball]]. Kirby has played for the [[Dallas Steaks]] and [[Chicago Firefighters]].
 
 
  
 
==Official League Records==
 
==Official League Records==
Kirby joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Dallas Steaks]] on [[Season 2]], Day 72, after the [[incineration]] of [[Zi Delacruz]].
+
Kirby joined the [[ILB]] as a lineup player for the [[Dallas Steaks]] on {{BetaSeason|2}}, Day 72, after the [[incineration]] of [[Zi Delacruz]].
  
On [[Season 4]], Day 4, Kirby was exchanged to the [[Chicago Firefighters]] due to [[Feedback]]. Kirby was replaced by [[Paula Mason]].
+
On {{BetaSeason|4}}, Day 4, Kirby was exchanged to the [[Chicago Firefighters]] due to [[Feedback]]. Kirby was replaced by [[Paula Mason]].
  
During the [[Season 5#Election Results|Season 5 elections]], Kirby's defense rating increased by {{Star Rating|1}} due to the [[Season 5#Election Results|'''Katamari''']] blessing.
+
During the {{BetaSeason|5#Election Results|@ elections}}, Kirby's defense rating increased by {{Star Rating|1}} due to the {{BetaSeason|5#Election Results|'''Katamari'''}} blessing.
  
On [[Season 8]], Day 55, Kirby swallowed a [[Peanuts|peanut]] and suffered an [[Peanuts_(weather)#Reactions|allergic]] reaction, decreasing batting and baserunning by {{Star Rating|1.5}}, and pitching and defense by {{Star Rating|1}}.
+
On {{BetaSeason|8}}, Day 55, Kirby swallowed a [[Peanuts|peanut]] and suffered an [[Peanuts_(weather)#Reactions|allergic]] reaction, decreasing batting and baserunning by {{Star Rating|1.5}}, and pitching and defense by {{Star Rating|1}}.
  
During the [[Season 9#Election Results|Season 9 elections]], Kirby was [[Incineration|incinerated]] as a result of the [[Season 9#Blessings|'''Dead Weight''']] blessing and replaced by [[Socks Maybe]].
+
During the {{BetaSeason|9#Election Results|@ elections}}, Kirby was [[Incineration|incinerated]] as a result of the {{BetaSeason|9#Blessings|'''Dead Weight'''}} blessing and replaced by [[Socks Maybe]].
  
On [[Season 19]], Day 22, Kirby entered the [[Shadows]] of the [[Hades Tigers]] as a result of the Tigers' {{ModLink|Ambush}} modification. Ambush activated after the [[incineration]] of [[Ohio Worms]] lineup player [[Igneus Delacruz]].
+
On {{BetaSeason|19}}, Day 22, Kirby entered the [[Hades Tigers]]' [[Shadows]] as a result of the Tigers' {{ModLink|Ambush}} modification. Ambush activated after the [[incineration]] of [[Ohio Worms]] lineup player [[Igneus Delacruz]].
  
 
==Biography==
 
==Biography==
Line 33: Line 32:
 
His appearance has been described as looking "very familiar", "almost exactly like someone [you] went to school with", and "sort of like that guy from a movie a few years back".  
 
His appearance has been described as looking "very familiar", "almost exactly like someone [you] went to school with", and "sort of like that guy from a movie a few years back".  
  
Kind of like if Boruto's dad was Boruto? Like imagine an old, kinda schlubby Boruto. But not quite? We love him anyway  
+
Kind of like if Boruto's dad was Boruto? Like imagine an old, kinda schlubby Boruto. But not quite? We love him anyway.
  
 
===Personal Life===
 
===Personal Life===
Line 47: Line 46:
 
Whatever a teammate's race, orientation, identity, or creed... Kirby's only demand is that they make sure to set their retirement account contributions to ensure employer matching is maxed out. It isn't a matter of judgment, just a matter of prudence.   
 
Whatever a teammate's race, orientation, identity, or creed... Kirby's only demand is that they make sure to set their retirement account contributions to ensure employer matching is maxed out. It isn't a matter of judgment, just a matter of prudence.   
  
Kirby received a mixed welcome upon his transfer to the Chicago Firefighters. Some Firefighters were glad to meet him, others missed [[Paula Mason]] and wished to trade him back. After hitting a three-run home run in the [[Season 4]] post-season match with the [[New York Millennials|Millennials]] (the only runs the Firefighters would achieve in that match), however, Kirby became a fan favorite.   
+
Kirby received a mixed welcome upon his transfer to the Chicago Firefighters. Some Firefighters were glad to meet him, others missed [[Paula Mason]] and wished to trade him back. After hitting a three-run home run in the {{BetaSeason|4}} post-season match with the [[New York Millennials|Millennials]] (the only runs the Firefighters would achieve in that match), however, Kirby became a fan favorite.   
  
 
==Quotes==
 
==Quotes==
Line 58: Line 57:
 
*Kirby owns (and exclusively wears) 4 different pairs of khaki slacks
 
*Kirby owns (and exclusively wears) 4 different pairs of khaki slacks
 
*Kirby uses 2-in-1 shampoo + conditioner
 
*Kirby uses 2-in-1 shampoo + conditioner
*Kirby's favorite food is [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pot_roast Pot Roast], though he does occasionally enjoy Mexican food "as long as it isn't too spicy".
+
*Kirby's favorite food is [[Wikipedia:Pot Roast|Pot Roast]], though he does occasionally enjoy Mexican food "as long as it isn't too spicy".
 
*Kirby's favorite film is "[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111161/ The Shawshank Redemption]"
 
*Kirby's favorite film is "[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111161/ The Shawshank Redemption]"
 
*Kirby's favorite salad dressing is ranch
 
*Kirby's favorite salad dressing is ranch
Line 71: Line 70:
 
File:110ThomasKirby.png|Mini-Blaseballer by {{Twitter|name=HetreaSky}}
 
File:110ThomasKirby.png|Mini-Blaseballer by {{Twitter|name=HetreaSky}}
 
File:Kirby note taking emoji from the Lake Michigan Lore Discord Server.png|by [https://twitter.com/necromngo @necromngo]
 
File:Kirby note taking emoji from the Lake Michigan Lore Discord Server.png|by [https://twitter.com/necromngo @necromngo]
 +
File:KIRBY.png|Kirby, as he looked as he entered into Chicago for the first time. The Steak energy radiating in his heart and the fire of Chicago glowing in his eye.
 
</gallery>
 
</gallery>
 
 
Thomas "Tom" Kirby is terribly missed by his old team and fans from his time with the Dallas Steaks.  
 
Thomas "Tom" Kirby is terribly missed by his old team and fans from his time with the Dallas Steaks.  
 
[[File:RIP Tom Kirby.jpg|center|frame]]
 
[[File:RIP Tom Kirby.jpg|center|frame]]
 
+
{{AutomatedPlayerNav|f73009c5-2ede-4dc4-b96d-84ba93c8a429|}}
{{AutomatedPlayerNav|f73009c5-2ede-4dc4-b96d-84ba93c8a429|tigers}}
+
{{FormerTeamCategorySelector|firefighters|steaks|tigers}}
{{FormerTeamCategorySelector|firefighters|steaks}}
+
[[Category:Players with the Nullified modification]]
 
+
[[Category:Players Who Replaced an Incinerated Player]]
 
[[Category:Incinerated Players]]
 
[[Category:Incinerated Players]]
[[Category:Players who Replaced an Incinerated Player]]
+
[[Category:Resurrected Players]]

Latest revision as of 22:31, 23 February 2023

Thomas Kirby was a lineup player in the Shadows for the Hades Tigers, and was with the team from Season β19, Day 22 until Fall Ball. Kirby has played for the Dallas Steaks and Chicago Firefighters.

Official League Records

Kirby joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Dallas Steaks on Season β2, Day 72, after the incineration of Zi Delacruz.

On Season β4, Day 4, Kirby was exchanged to the Chicago Firefighters due to Feedback. Kirby was replaced by Paula Mason.

During the Season β5 elections, Kirby's defense rating increased by due to the Katamari blessing.

On Season β8, Day 55, Kirby swallowed a peanut and suffered an allergic reaction, decreasing batting and baserunning by , and pitching and defense by .

During the Season β9 elections, Kirby was incinerated as a result of the Dead Weight blessing and replaced by Socks Maybe.

On Season β19, Day 22, Kirby entered the Hades Tigers' Shadows as a result of the Tigers' Ambush modification. Ambush activated after the incineration of Ohio Worms lineup player Igneus Delacruz.

Biography

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Physical Attributes

While many of his team and league mates can boast exotic names and mystical/mythological origins, Thomas "Tom" Kirby is a perfectly fine if slightly pedestrian cishet white male.

Thomas Kirby is 5'9" in height, and his weight is self-reported as "having maybe gotten a little soft around the middle, but that's not unusual when you start getting a little older and slow down a bit".

His appearance has been described as looking "very familiar", "almost exactly like someone [you] went to school with", and "sort of like that guy from a movie a few years back".

Kind of like if Boruto's dad was Boruto? Like imagine an old, kinda schlubby Boruto. But not quite? We love him anyway.

Personal Life

Unlike former teammate Sebastian Telephone, who was spawned fully-formed from a payphone, Kirby was born from an unremarkable pregnancy between Jeffrey "Jeff" Kirby and Judtih "Judy" Kirby. Judy described the conception and pregnancy as "average."

Kirby drives a midsize pickup truck. In interviews, he describes it as "just enough to get the job done". He is always happy to help a teammate move to a new residence or transport a piece of bulky furniture home.

Kirby and his family live in a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath ranch-style home in Chicago, where he has always been from. He and his wife Amanda have one son and one daughter. The family has one dog, a retriever mix, and one cat, a shorthair.

Professional Life

Kirby eschews any sort of value judgments or criticisms of his more extraordinary league mates. He treats all Blaseball players, friend or foe, with a polite respect. He does admit, however, that he can't help but respect and appreciate a good, firm handshake. He has gone to seven Phish concerts in his lifetime. This was a business expense.

Whatever a teammate's race, orientation, identity, or creed... Kirby's only demand is that they make sure to set their retirement account contributions to ensure employer matching is maxed out. It isn't a matter of judgment, just a matter of prudence.

Kirby received a mixed welcome upon his transfer to the Chicago Firefighters. Some Firefighters were glad to meet him, others missed Paula Mason and wished to trade him back. After hitting a three-run home run in the Season β4 post-season match with the Millennials (the only runs the Firefighters would achieve in that match), however, Kirby became a fan favorite.

Quotes

"You can just call me Tom." — Thomas Kirby

"I will never believe it" — Thomas Kirby

Trivia

  • Kirby owns (and exclusively wears) 4 different pairs of khaki slacks
  • Kirby uses 2-in-1 shampoo + conditioner
  • Kirby's favorite food is Pot Roast, though he does occasionally enjoy Mexican food "as long as it isn't too spicy".
  • Kirby's favorite film is "The Shawshank Redemption"
  • Kirby's favorite salad dressing is ranch
  • Kirby likes to vacation in Orlando
  • Kirby maintains a robust collection of both power and manual hand tools. He will be happy to keep loaning them to you as needed, unless you do something to demonstrate you can't handle them responsibly and safely.
  • Like all of us, Kirby is from Chicago. His jersey number is 872.

Fan Works

Thomas "Tom" Kirby is terribly missed by his old team and fans from his time with the Dallas Steaks.

RIP Tom Kirby.jpg