Goodwin Morin/IF-8.185
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Goodwin Morin at their Rumor Registry.
THIS REPORT IS ONLY FOR EMPLOYEES OF LEVEL M RANK OR HIGHER. ANY EMPLOYEE OF LOWER RANK CAUGHT READING IT WILL BE TERMINATED. ANY EMPLOYEE WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THE WANTED PERSONS BELOW SHOULD CONTACT EXT. *8185 IMMEDIATELY.
MISSING EMPLOYEE REPORT
Date: | ██-██-████ | ||
Name: | MORIN, GOODWIN | Aliases: | "MT. SAPPHO", "SUNKILLER", "█████" |
Age: | ██ | Birthday: | ██-██-████ |
Job Title: | PITCHER | ||
Department: | DARK SEATTLE CORPORATES | ||
Other Jobs Held: | GROWTH MANAGER | (SUNKILLER) | |
HT: | 7 FT 3 IN | WT: | UNK |
Hair: | PURPLE W STARS | Eyes: | BROWN |
Current Status: | TRAITOR | ||
Last Seen on Corp. Property: | S10D99 | where?: | COMPANY CUBICLE |
Probable Destination: | SEATTLE (LIGHTSIDE); THE BIG GARAGE | ||
Cause of Absence: | ESCAPE; TRAITOR | ||
Accomplices: | SEATTLE GARAGES; SHADOWS |
INFORMATION
MORIN was hired from the CLAN OF GODSLAYERS on ██-██-████, and was assigned to ██████████ ███████████████████████ ████████████████ ███████████ ████████████████ as part of the Corporation's ███ ████ █████████ Pledge. After completing this assignment, she transferred from the █████████ ██████ DEPARTMENT to take on the duties of PITCHER for the DARK SEATTLE CORPORATES. Performance Reviews from this time period describe her as "an excellent employee who succeeds at all tasks given", "a valued member of the team", and "capable of bench pressing 500 lbs."
During Season 9, as a result of the SECRET WEAPON EMPOWERMENT SEMINAR (a.k.a. ██████████ ███), MORIN received the power to control SHADOWS, predominantly using them to form EXTRA LIMBS. She also received a BUFF to her already impressive STRENGTH. MORIN is often ARMED with anywhere from SIX (6) to EIGHTEEN (18) ARMS. She is known to be skilled in HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT, WEAPONS COMBAT, SHADOW MAGIC, ██████████████████ ███████████ ███████████, and FLIRTATION. She has historically been one of the Corporates’ BEST PITCHERS.
THIS TRAITOR SHOULD BE ASSUMED TO BE ARMED AND DANGEROUS.
DO NOT APPROACH SOLO.
IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT THAT THIS TRAITOR APPROACHES OR ENGAGES YOU, COMMENCE DEPARTMENT OF EMPLOYEE RETENTION EMERGENCY PROTOCOL ████.
MORIN escaped from this dimension in Season 10, when members of the SEATTLE GARAGES, a ███████████████████ performed a ██████████████████ ████████ █████ ████. This led to ██ █████████████ ███████████ ██████████████████ █████████████████████ which led to █████████████ ██████████████████████████████████████████████ █████████████████████████████ hijacking ███ ███████ ██████████ █████ █████ ██████████████ ████████████ ███████ ██████ ██████████████████████ █████████████ ██████████ ███████ ████████████ skateboard ███ ██████ █████████ ████ ████████████ ██████████ ███████████████ ██████████ ████████████████████████ █████████████████████ ████ ███████████ ████████████. These █████████████████████████ have not been seen since, but they ████ █████████████ ███ █████████████ two ████████████████████, a ███████████████████ █████████ ███████████████████ ██████████████████████████ and graffiti on the side of the D.E.B.T. Tower reading █████████ ██████OUR ASSES YOU D████████████ █ ██████████ ███████████████████████████.
Since her escape, MORIN's exploits have become LEGENDARY among those in the ██████ Dimension. She appears to have switched teams multiple times during her INTERNET LEAGUE BLASEBALL career, having played for the SEATTLE GARAGES, TOKYO LIFT, and CHARLESTON SHOE THIEVES. MORIN's whereabouts are unknown as of SEASON 18 DAY 99, when she ██████████████████████████████.
MORIN has few demonstrated weaknesses. DO NOT APPROACH SOLO. MORIN has been shown to be weak to the effects of "CHARM", as shown in games against the ██████ Dimension's SAN FRANCISCO LOVERS. The Corporation's Department of Human Interaction is currently researching what "CHARM" is. Current theories include it being a sort of ██████████████████, a ████████████, or an AXE BODY SPRAY BRAND. See ██████████████████ for full research.
MORIN was believed to have been spotted on ██████ when ██████████████████████████████, but further investigation has revealed that ██████████████████ III ████████████. These ██████ not █████████████████.