UserWiki:NautALoid/planning

ENIMAR BEVUND ENTRY

The following entry is a collection of notes and signs found in Bevan Underbuck and Enid Marlow’s apartment.

Entryway

• Printed on a sheet of paper, in Times New Roman:
  • GUEST RULES:
    1. If you invite Ken over you have to do an exorcism within 6 hours of him leaving, or 2 hours on a full moon.
    2. Sigils for warding against Interdimensional intruders need to be refreshed at least once a month.
    3. Sigils of true form need to be removed or clearly labeled before Fairwood comes over because it makes sheer ask a lot of questions she doesn’t want to deal with yet.
    4. Sigils of true form need to be removed or clearly labeled before Parker Parra comes over because it makes the universe ask a lot of questions that it doesn't want to deal with yet.
    5. If you invite over animals from the woods or shapeshifters that turn into animals, use the lint roller afterwards so that errant fur doesn't fuck up new spells.
       • Scribbled on the bottom of the page, with an arrow pointing to Rule 5: do catboys count
       • In a third distinct handwriting, below the added note: yes. Obviously

Kitchen

• "Discarded sheds from shells, antlers, and carapace have to be thrown directly into the outside garbage so they don't fill up all the inside ones"
• "Interdimensional beings who spend more than 3 days in the apartment have to contribute to grocery money."
• “No spell components in the microwave.
  • P.S. the microwave is not a spell component either.”
• Written in pencil directly onto the wall above the trashcan: “Hi everyone! Love what you’ve done with the place, but can you leave the trash where it is? There’s so much good stuff in there! I’ll throw out what I don’t eat, don’t worry. —Love, Finn”
• On a note on the refrigerator: “Enid—Did you use all the milk in a ritual? I JUST bought that, please buy some more!”
• "Anything considered 'Hazardous Material" by either the Baltimore City Council or the Chesapeake Bay Witches cannot be stored in the food fridge, no matter how well labeled it is"
  • "The fact that Finn can eat it does not override the previous rule"
• "please only leave out salt from 3-5 on tuesdays or i WILL throw it out"
• "Utensils for potion brewing and cooking utensils must be kept separate and distinctly labeled. Do NOT use the lasagna pan to make fire-conjuring potions.
• "Check both the oven's external temperature display and the thermometer inside the oven before opening the door, especially when the oven is full of concoctions. Sometimes the oven is tricked."
• "do not make churros. i don't care if you're sober next time, you've all lost privileges"
• "no cursing or bespelling of any blade longer than a chef's knife"
• On a sheaf of papers stapled to the bottom of the first, in fancy handwriting "no cursing or bespelling of any blade sharper than a butter knife. you know why. –A.C."
  • The papers below the first note are medical bills.

Living room

• A piece of notebook paper threaded to a garland on the ceiling: “Bevan. Be a love and be more mindful of your antlers, I know you knocked into the ceiling skeleton, I heard it start screaming from my room.”
• A laminated sheet of construction paper in the living room nearest the apartment’s entrance, reading “KNIFE ZONE.” The sign, door, and surrounding wall are riddled with holes, presumably from knives.
• A laminated sheet of construction paper on the opposite side of the living room, reading “NOT A KNIFE ZONE.” The surrounding wall is riddled with holes, presumably notfrom knives.
• Written backwards on the living room mirror, apparently from behind the glass: “We won’t be trapped in here forever.”
• (written in marker, directly onto a half-broken coffee table precariously balanced on its three intact legs) “BROKEN!! Do NOT place additional weight on it.” Several large tomes and a cow skull decorated in fairy lights are piled on the sturdier side.
• On a line of masking tape on the edge of one bookshelf: “BOOKS GO ON THE SHELVES NOT THE GROUND”
• "While it is very sweet that you did it, you still need to warn someone if you're going to astral project into the living room so you don't miss movie night while you're visiting Miami"
• "No summoning extra dimensional beings into the living room."
  • "Yes this includes Parra"
• "No blaming your roommate for summoning an extra dimensional beings into the living room for no reason."
• "Any incantations of third grade or higher needs to be proofread by Enid before being cast indoors because we cannot afford to replace the TV again"
• By the window, next to three empty plant pots: "The complex's 'no pets' rule apparently also applies to houseplants than can hunt anything larger than a vole."

Bathroom

• Do NOT use sink as a cauldron for your unholy experiments
• Absolutely do NOT use tub as a cauldron, Finn sleeps in there sometimes.
• Do not look at the shadows in the steam. They will look back.
• Written next to the mirror, on a sheet of paper unevenly ripped from a notebook: “DO NOT talk to the figure in the window, it is not your reflection. THIS IS NOT A MIRROR.”
• “If you’re going to stand in the bathtub and chant in the middle of the night, put a sign up on the door first.”

Marlow’s door

• A series of four post-it notes on Marlow’s bedroom door:
  • “Enid—There are piles of dead cicadas on the floor, and bucket loads more live ones crawling around. Why.”
  • Pasted on top of the first: “Bevan. Don’t open the windows when I tell you not to, if it’s too hot in here then you can buy a fan. I accept no responsibility for this.”
  • Pasted next to the second: “When did you tell me not to open the windows? I think I’d remember!”
  • Pasted below the third: “Did I not? My mistake. I’ll create a calendar for you to follow. In the meantime, feel free to do whatever you wish with the cicadas, I have no need for them.”
• A calendar, hung by a freshly hammered nail in drywall, notated with a bioluminescent substance. Certain dates are circled, underlined, starred, or otherwise marked with various symbols, seemingly at random.
• "I want to hear from you, not the landlord or neighbors, that you might have hexed the place."

Casting room

• "Please put when you're planning on using the casting room on the lCal, you know what happens when you interrupt a ritual."
• "Always clean and renew the spell circle when you're done with it"

COOGAL ENTRY

using this to write out a draft for a weird rumor.

A Metaphysical Retcon

Before it joined blaseball as a pitcher for the Tokyo Lift, Coolname Galvanic did not exist. As a worker in the Field of Eggs, employed in monitoring the minutiae of the conditions necessary to irrigate the Naming Pool and properly form the Eggs, it had on occasion glimpsed its own name reflected in the platonic body of the Pool and knew that the egg containing its own name, its essence as a player, hadn’t yet been formed.

The entity that would become the memory of Coolname Galvanic, [insert position here] for the [insert team here], did not exist, and was not a blaseball player. It both was and was not, however, an employee for the Field Of Eggs, a memory not yet anchored in reality. And from what it understood from all the times it watched as the formless replacements of the recently incinerated emerged from eggs and metaphysically harden into individuals with histories extending far before their hatching, all to replace the fallen in playing blaseball for their lives,

Everything experienced by the entity that would become Coolname Galvanic was, in its own nonexistent eyes, merely set-dressing to embellish a version of itself that was presumably being created at the same time as itself. It knew it did not exist, that it could not impact the world around it in any meaningful way until its Egg was Generated, Found, and Hatched to play Internet League Blaseball. All that was left was to play out its part as an ephemeral employee in the Field of Eggs until Coolname Galvanic entered active play.

A meeting of surnames

Just as it knew it rightly did not yet have a name, as the egg that generated that name had not yet formed, it also knew, as surely as anything, that it would be named Coolname Galvanic. So it was with mild interest that it one day to met a fellow League employee that would one day be known as Squid Galvanic. While Coolname was part of the Farm System, tied to the Field of Eggs in location and duty, Squid was a courier, constantly in motion as she ran messages across the League. The two became close, and Squid's adventures inspired Coolname to look beyond its own nonexistence in the Field of Eggs and strike out for new experiences, in Tokyo, which was at the time far from any blaseball teams.

It eventually would find itself living in a small apartment with another recent arrival to Tokyo, Yusef Fenestrate. The two hit it off, and the two lived together for a year before the entity that did not yet exist and was not a blaseball player or a Field of Eggs employee received news that Squid Galvanic had hatched as a playoff birth for the Baltimore Crabs. Around the same time, Fenestrate received an invitation from sheers former mentor to sign up for a new Blaseball team. In its efforts to walk away from its backstory, it entered the story exactly where it should be. Naturally, it signed up for the team.

Blaseball Career

Galvanic entered active play as the Lift's lowest-rated pitcher, with just 1.1 pitching stars. However, its incredibly ruthless playstyle would quickly set it apart from its peers even as it accumulated the most losses of the Lift's rotation: not by allowing the most runs, but allowing the fewest, triggering the least amount of Black Hole and Sun 2 events. The next season, it would enter the top of the leaderboards for strikeouts and walk percentage. notes:

• like it always knew it supposed to be The Best of the lift and it really internalized that even if it kept a kind of "i don't care if lift wins when i pitch, i'm just here for a good time" persona, once it got on the field, it always gave the games its all and as a pitcher, it could feel it had control over the field.
• the change out of the ruth meta was it finally meeting the limits of an uncomfortably human body, and the subsequent season was it trying to wrestle with the fact that even if it didn't feel anything like a human, it had to take more care of its physical self if it was to be of any use on the field (in the field of eggs worker irm this sense of "i need to give my all on the field at all times" could reflect its feelings that blaseball was "the only real thing" it could affect).
• its perfect game in the postseason of the meta change (lift championship upside down season) might be kind of a reflection on it seeing how far the lift made it not by doing the best, but by having a fun chaotic time and deciding to try pacing itself and following suit so it could give it its all in the moments that truly matter

Trivia

• Galvanic introduces itself differently to each person it meets. Notably, the names and titles it uses grow exponentially longer the more it dislikes its conversation partner.
• Galvanic's fashion is notably eclectic, and it has a large collection of crocs with removed straps. Many have speculated that it eats said croc straps like french fries, with wasabi.
• Galvanic is fascinated by laws and bureaucracy, often invoking them for its own gain while exploiting loopholes to escape consequences when it breaks the law.
• Mags Banananana introduced Galvanic to Minions memes, much to Galvanic's delight and the rest of the team's despair. After leaving the team, Banananana continues to print out and mail Minions memes to Galvanic and Fenestrate's apartment.

things to include in the entry

• personality: carefully cultivated persona of laid-back antipathy, unapproachable, rancid
• touch-repulsed autistic aroace
• Marfan syndrome
  • hypermobility, pain flareups, always carries a foldable cane on its person