Melton Telephone/IF-01.800

From Blaseball Wiki
Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Melton Telephone at their Rumor Registry.

A Mysterious Entrance

In the chaos that ensued after the Yellowstone Magic’s shadows roster dealt with a particularly nasty infestation of invasive Path Bugs, the sudden appearance of an entity connected to Shadows player Melton Telephone was equally unexpected.

The person who was sighted on Parkpark trail cameras clambering out of the Morning Glory Pool, soaked in sizzling water, was not immediately recognized by Parkpark staff. When approached, it was noted that they were wearing some sort of reinforced armor suit that allowed them to survive such high temperatures as are common in the Morning Glory Pool, along with a helmet hiding their face which displayed various lights and shapes, including those which resembled a glowing circle of rotary buttons.

The stranger who emerged from the hot spring was sighted on a trail camera entering the Yellowstone National Ballpark Clubhouse. Shadows member Logan Rodriguez reported ¹ that the stranger burst into the building, demanded to know what year it was, and subsequently asked for a ticket to Dallas, TX, refusing to leave the premises until provided with one. Later that day, they were presented with such a ticket, and they were sighted leaving Parkpark grounds near the entrance to the train station. When asked to sign for the ticket, they did so with a flourishing signature of the initials “MT.”

The stranger was sighted several days hence at the Morning Glory Pool again, munching on a crop of cooked Blaseball salmon which they shared with Halexandrey Walton. With their helmet off, they were revealed to be a humanoid older person with a grid of nine buttons on the side of their face. Walton, when asked, identified the stranger as Melton Telephone, and when asked to elaborate, indicated only that Telephone had been “gone, but they came back after a while” and that they had been “traveling.” ²

Sightings

Where, or when, Telephone had been traveling is not clear; however, subsequent research has identified that a figure wearing armor that resembled Telephone’s was previously sighted at a number of locations around the league at different, earlier times, including:

With the Yellowstone Magic

Telephone has since proven to be a reclusive and quiet member of the Magic’s shadows. They speak little about their past, and little about their present. They spend much of their time spiffing up and maintaining an antique motorbike that appears to be powered by an old hand-crank telephone magneto, and have been seen riding it along off-road trails outside the Parkpark so as not to disrupt Parkpark wildlife. They have also been seen hanging out on the porch of the Clubhouse and listening to Journey cassettes on a beat-up Walkman.

Telephone maintains a tentative friendship with Halexandrey Walton. Since their first encounter with her, they have often been sighted fishing for salmon with Hex, and sharing the spoils of their catch with her. Curious members of the team have asked Hex what secrets Telephone could possibly be telling her, to which she responded that they “used to have family in the league, but they’re all gone now” and “if you want me to tell you anything else you owe me 5 Sclooby Snacks.”

Footnotes

  1. In between applying anti-Path Bug itch cream, complaining that their cabin-mates were “playing music too loud,” and harrumphing.
  2. After this line of questioning, Hex returned to the Morning Glory Pool to munch on salmon and doggy treats.
Retrieved from "https://www.blaseball.wiki/index.php?title=Melton_Telephone/IF-01.800&oldid=98850"