Emblem Warhorse/IF-0.404
Patron Rumor / Community LoreThis article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Patron Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Patron Rumors about Emblem Warhorse at their Patron Rumor Registry.
TROJAN_WRHS
The digital program known as TROJAN_WRHS first encountered the physical establishment known as the Emblem Warhorse by complete accident. A faulty geolocation drive, stuck pointing exclusively northwest, led them astray from their original target, the physical establishment known as the Warhorse Emblem, a notorious “hot tub club”/arcade located somewhere in the city of Dark Seattle. TROJAN’s sole directive was to locate said arcade of ill repute and shut it down, removing all illegal equipment, up to and including any pinball machines ¹, from the interior. When TROJAN arrived at the Emblem Warhorse, some thousand cubic inter-dimensional miles and a gum wall barrier away from their original target, their confused optical sensors located exactly zero pinball machines in the bar and concluded that their mission was complete. From then on, they had very little idea of what to do with themselves.
TROJAN settled down at the Emblem Warhorse bar as they did not know where they would be situated in the city and found the kindness of the other Patrons to be welcoming. They had little trouble acclimating to non-corporate existence in Seattle, as their allegiance was strictly limited to their directive, now complete. Their struggle lay more in determining their purpose, which suddenly lay vacant.
In an attempt to find a new purpose for themselves as a Patron, TROJAN began training in the art of mixology from fellow Patrons Madam Warhorse and Emmie, and has learned a few tricks along the way, sometimes balancing several drinks at once on the face of their compass as a tray. TROJAN has also picked up a few tips on artificial existence from their friend and mentor, Oliver Notarobot, who has given them advice on how to stand up for themselves if ever questioned on their right to be Lightside or in the bar itself, though the latter is less pertinent, as the Emblem Warhorse and its Patrons have all heartily accepted TROJAN as a friend and compatriot.
TROJAN can often be found plugged into the wall next to the bar’s ATM to charge up during off-hours, and they appreciate some good peace and quiet when visitors and non-Patrons are absent. Their Emblem is a glowing circuit pattern on their right arm. They occasionally play in the Emblem Warhorse band, using the holographic broken compass disk that contains their code locus² as a makeshift and somehow off-tune tambourine. They get along well with Fammy and War, and venture outside the bar on occasion (holding a sun parasol in one hand despite the grey skies) to pick up dog and cat food for them, respectively.
TROJAN’s favorite cocktail still includes sparkling Arrow Cola from the other side of the Gumwall, which the bar mysteriously stocks for them and them alone under the counter.
¹ As we all know, pinball is banned in Dark Seattle.
² It is not advised to pick up TROJAN's compass disc and throw it like a frisbee. They will probably cry.
TROJAN bartending at the Emblem Warhorse. Art by Tigrishades.
TROJAN mixing drinks. Art by Uwunium.
Emmie and Madame teach TROJAN a few tricks, by Eli
