New York Millennials

For other uses, see Millennials (disambiguation).

New York Millennials
Division	Chaotic Good
Home Location	New York, NY
Team Slogan	Youth Will Save Us
Emoji	📱
Mascot	Millie the Bodega Cat
Social media	Twitter

The New York Millennials are a Blaseball team in the Chaotic Good division of the Good League. They have been a part of the Blaseball League since Season 1, and claim to be "the gayest team in blaseball".

Ownership Controversy

Little is known about the shadowy and secretive cabal of Millennials who make up the ownership of the New York Blaseball team and serve as its namesake. It is also unknown how far into the standard 1000-year life cycle each of the Millennials who own the team are.

Recently, critics have leveled accusations against the direction of the team's marketing, claiming that the over-reliance on "Millennial Memes" targeting the Millennial generation to form their team's identity (and baffling demand that each player have a "Side Hustle") is merely a way to shrug off critical questions about the exact nature and goals of the ownership.

Players

Batters

• Dominic Marijuana
• Mclaughlin Scorpler
• Conrad Vaughan
• Thomas Dracaena
• Schneider Bendie
• Wesley Dudley
• Richardson Games
• Winnie Mccall
• Chorby Soul

Pitchers

• Theodore Cervantes
• Patty Fox
• Fynn Doyle
• Bates Bentley
• Felix Garbage

Former Players

Incinerated

• Scrap Murphy (Season 2, Day 46)

Transferred

• N/A

Season Results

Season 1

The inaugural Blaseball League season saw the New York Millennials finish a disappointing fifth place in the competitive Chaotic Good division, missing the playoffs.

Season 2

The first season of The Discipline Era saw the Millennials once again finish in fifth place in the Chaotic Good division with a record of 44 wins and 55 losses. Lackluster pitching was the hallmark of the season for the Millennials, overshadowing stellar performances by Dominic Marijuana and Thomas Dracaena who were consistently among the league's most potent home run hitters.

At the end of Season 2, the Election and Blessing results resulted in a highly favorable outcome for the Millennials. The team was granted a Fourth Strike, and with 26% of all submitted ballots also won a Soul Swap. The following changes occurred, violently:

• Randomized the pitching stats for the New York Millennials's worst player, Theodore Cervantes. 0.5 -> 3.5
• Randomized the pitching stats for the New York Millennials's worst player, Fynn Doyle. 0.5 -> 2
• Randomized the hitting stats for the New York Millennials's worst player, Richardson Games. 1 -> 2
• Randomized the hitting stats for the New York Millennials's worst player, Winnie Mccall. 1 -> 3
• Randomized the hitting stats for the New York Millennials's worst player, Conrad Vaughan. 1.5 -> 2.5

These improvements were celebrated by Millennial fans during the off season. This joy was peppered with reservations around the weight existential terror expressed in the screams of the soul swapped players.

These screams prompted fans to ask for questions about the metaphysical nightmare their players were now living.

This has led to a set of conflicting but often overlapping theories about the finer details of swapping souls. It is widely agreed that the original soul is removed in whole or shaved down to make room for other soul(s) in unknown. There is debate around the soul which is introduced to the players body as well. It may be an amalgamation of souls pushed together in a spiritual blender with the sole purpose of creating a better Blaseball player.

In the event of multiple timelines it is possible that a players soul is ripped from a different timeline in order to improve their skills in this one. Parts of both the body soul and the imported soul are lost in this process.

Alternatively the Blaseball Gods themselves may have a stable of souls which they keep on hand for cases such as this.

Historic Moments

Garbage Day (Season 2, Day 49)

The box score from GARBAGE DAY

Squaring off against the 38-11 Dallas Steaks midway through Season 2, the Millennials pulled off a surprise win after upstart pitcher Felix Garbage dominated the Steaks into extra innings, and a solo home run by star player Thomas Dracaena put the Millennials on top (and the Steaks in Shame) at the bottom of 15 innings.

Fan Art

New York Millennials Alt Logo by ReleaseTheChimp	Logo by Cobaltcakes.
New York Millennials Alt Logo by Annana	"The Mills" New York Millennials lettering by andreastreeter